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I couldn't. Not after that."Where's Honey," I demanded instead, my fingers clenching the butter knife so tight that the cold metal was a soothing sensation to the fury inside me.
"You care about the girl, then, do you?" Manuel's hand froze, his own bite of veal halfway to his mouth.
I stared at my plate. It was important that I not show any reaction.
Instead, I managed to cut a piece of the white meat and shove it in my mouth. It tasted rubbery, even though it practically melted on my tongue.
I managed to choke down a few more pieces, along with some bright green broccoli before answering him. "Yes, of course. I'm not emotionless."
Manuel's eyes darkened, his head tilting as he took in my words. He was trying to see if there was any underlying meaning to them--he hated it when people called him emotionless.
I showed my teeth in a forced smile. "I'm here for her, aren't I?"
"I was hoping you would say that."
I blinked in genuine surprise. "You did?"
"Yes," A slow grin snaked up his lips, hope filling his expression. "I thought we could be a little family. The three of us."
Manuel had always wanted kids, though the thought of it revolted me.
"Sure," I lied, forcing the next words through clenched teeth. "That would be wonderful."Over my dead body.
All hope quickly died from his eyes. In an instant, they were cold and dead, so dark, I could see the flicker of the candlelight in them. And that's when I knew I hadn't been convincing enough. I rushed my next words.
"I mean, you had said you always wanted a boy, not a girl, so..." My words died in my throat as he deliberately placed the knife and fork on his plate. Fear spiked my chest; I couldn't breathe.
He sighed, shaking his head. "I'm never enough for you, am I, Tatiana?" He stood, casually pulling a needle from his pocket, and the sight of it had my back straightening.
"Of course you are." My teeth began to chatter--I was shaking.
It wasn't supposed to be like this. I'd come here, strong. Ready to fight to the death.
To kill him.
Not tremble before him like a helpless, caged bird. I hated how he made me feel. So...powerless. So weak.
Shaking off Antonio's hands still on my shoulders, I growled out, "I will never be a family with you again." My voice came out a snarl, like a cornered animal. Then I gulped. I'd meant to reassure him. To convince him I had real feelings for him. I needed to do it for Honey. To save her. If I could convince him I wanted us to be a family, he might not kill her.
But I couldn't stop myself now, the words were rushing from me, unbidden. "You always disgusted me." Unstoppable. "I hated every single time you looked at me." I stood up, ignoring Antonio's warning hiss at me, "Every time you touched me, I vomited in my mouth."
"Is that so, Tatiana?" Manuel had stopped before me, and we were staring each other down.
His movements were controlled, precise, as his fingers wrapped around my wrist. My chest was heaving, rage billowing, my face burning with my indignation.
I couldn't stop my mouth from running. "And if you think that I would ever love you, that I would ever be afamilywith you, then you're even crazier than I--"
I didn't finish my sentence because at the word, 'crazy' he slashed out, his hand moving from my wrist to grip my throat. For the first time tonight, there was an emotion other than amusement in his eyes. Anger.
A lump formed in my throat.I'd made him angry.He was cutting off my air.
"Unfortunately, I thought you might feel that way." He squeezed tight, forcing me back into my seat. Antonio hovered around me, but didn't make any other move. "And that's why I've prepared something special for you."
He held up the needle. My face paled, the blood draining to my feet, and sweat pouring down my side. "No. Please."
"Apparently, it's the only way," he sighed heavily. "I did try."
"I'll do what you want," I said. "I take it all back."