Page 111

I didn't regret putting my life in her hands because the truth was, my life had always belonged to her.
She had been my everything from the moment we'd met, and I wouldn't change that for the world.
The only one thing I did regret and that was that I hadn't kissed her one last time.
It was the only thing she'd asked of me lately, and yet, once again, the selfish bastard that I was, I'd denied her.
I'd wanted her heart and soul, afraid to give myself over until I was absolutely certain that she belonged to me again.
Afraid, so very afraid, the prince of the island, knight to the Kings of Vegas,and a coward.
The fear had always been there, right under the surface, covered and smothered by money or violence.
I was too afraid to give my heart over to her truly and wholly, without expectation of anything in return.
On her own birthday, I'd asked for her trust.
God, I was a selfish coward.
I made up my mind right then and there that if I lived to see the next day, I would kiss her every single time she asked for it.
That I would give her my trust, and ask for nothing in return.
That I would face my fear, and love her wholeheartedly, without needing her love in return.
I hoped she would give me that chance.
...And yet...
By the defiant look on her face, the pain and anguish I knew was shimmering under the surface, the heartache she'd suffered over the years...
I was rotten,just like my mom always said.I didn't deserve a second chance.
"Take it," I mumbled around the gun in my mouth.
Her eyes narrowed, fire shooting from them. "You want me to take the shot?"
I shook my head and, reaching forward, took her wrist. My thumb brushed it, her skin like silk, as I pulled it towards my chest. I stilled when it landed over the space where my heart was thumping loudly, I was certain she could hear it. Feel it tremble under her fingertips.
Couldn't she see the way she owned me? Feel it, sense it…breathe it in the very air I exhaled?
For a moment, both our eyes landed on the red ribbon still tied to my wrist, the evidence of how she'd owned me from the very beginning, on blatant display, this very moment.
"Take it," I repeated. "My ribbon. My life. My soul. My everything.” I choked out, willing her to see through my gaze that she could do whatever she wanted with me.
My life was hers. To own, to control, to give... or to take. It was in her hands.
Not taking the gun from my mouth, she leaned forward, shoving it in tighter. I stared into her eyes, showing my total trust in her.
Her expression only seemed to grow more fierce. "You daring me to shoot you? You don't think I could do it?"
I shook my head again, tapping on her hand, trying to show her what I meant.
To make her believe it.
When her face only twisted in confusion, I reached forward, cupping her jaw. "S'kay, s'kay." I nodded, giving her permission.
If this was indeed her intent, then I would gladly give my life over to her. It was what I deserved.