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Suddenly, the world around us was gone. The waves crashing, the hot sun overhead, the wind whipping my hair, and the fine sand below.
It was just me and him.
Intense.
Powerful.
Connected.
"I love you, Tatiana, you're everything to me. You are enough. You're loveable. You're a goddamn gift to this world. And I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like you weren't."
My eyes burned, warmth spreading through my face as he stroked me, bringing me back to the edge. "Say it with me as you come, Tatiana." He hooked two fingers up inside me, his gaze holding mine. "I'm enough."
Fear gripped me, tears dripping. I was afraid to say the words but his demanding tone made me automatically respond. "I'm enough."
"I love myself."
"Oh God!" My fingers dug into his skin, the tightly strung tension inside me bursting. "I'm coming."
"Say it as you come, Tati."
Fire ripped through me, my words garbled as the pressure between my legs detonated. "I love myself," I cried out. "Oh, God, Knight."
I was crying now, waves of emotions crashing like the ocean tide through me. Then he was inside me, thrusting into me. I had to cling onto him as he drove through my slickness. "Say it again," he commanded.
"I love myself," sparks of pleasure shot through me as he pounded, my words stuttering, "Lo-ove myself."
"Yesss," a deep groan escaped him, his lips consuming mine. "That's it." Thrusting. Pounding. Then, with one final shudder, he cried out, coming inside me. I felt as light as air, cherished and loved as his cum dripped from me. Then he was kissing me, soft and tender, murmuring, "I love you, baby, you're so beautiful, inside and out."
I clung to him, burying my face in his neck, my tears flowing from the depths of my soul, a release of anger, sadness, and pain.
It seemed to last an eternity as he held me, our breathing ragged, our skin slick with sweat. And when I opened my eyes, looking up at him, I saw in his gaze an intensity that both frightened and exhilarated me. His lips curled into a half-smile, and he kissed me deeply before pulling out of me.
Then he carried us back over to the blanket, and settled us so that he was on his back, holding me close, on top of him, our breathing the only sound in the stillness of the scorching day.
I felt like I was suspended in time, suspended in the fullness of the moment.
He loved me.He really did.I was enough for him, enough to track me down and chase after.
And yet, I was still trying to control the emotions inside me, biting down on my lip, trying not to howl and scream. Struggled desperately to contain the depths of my anguish and sadness. I wanted to cry out, to let it all go, but I couldn’t–not yet.
And that's when I knew I wasn't ready.
I would leave him, after tonight.
We'd go back to where I was staying and make love again, this time soft, sweet, and tender.
And then, when he woke, I wouldn't be in his arms, but instead, would have disappeared back into the night.
I wasn't ready.Not yet.
FORTY-FIVE
The cold tilepressed against my cheek, the smell of dirt and blood and piss filled my nose.
Tears poured down my cheeks, filling the cracks of broken tile where dirt and piss had missed.
A wrenching sob filled the air, electric tingles racing across my fingers.