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I brushed it away. "I would do a lot more for you, Tati." My words were fierce. "I swear. All you need to do is ask."
Reaching forward, I untied the other ribbon from her pigtail and stood up, walking to her window. "If, for some reason, your parents won't let you come talk to me, tie this ribbon to your window," I showed her the spot where I was sure I could see it from the road, "and I’ll know you need something."
She nodded, her tongue coming out to lick over that freckle by her lips. She did that when she was nervous.
She didn't like lying to her parents, but I knew that her life was about to get harder, and she would have to learn to be harder too.
"Promise me you'll do it. Anything you need, you'll tell me."
She nodded, another tear falling down her cheek, and something burned inside me.
I wanted to kill her parents for being so selfish.
They finally had money to buy her stuff and they'd spent it on drugs.
"Knight?" Her star-blue eyes were wide, her voice pleading. "Will you kiss me?"
I narrowed my eyes at her, thinking about my answer.
She'd never let me kiss her before, only that one time, and I knew she only wanted me to kiss her now because she was upset.
I shouldn't do it.
I wanted her to kiss me because she wanted me to kiss her, not because she wanted to forget about her parents.
"Please, Knight.” Her voice was so soft, it cracked. “You just promised you would give me anything I wanted."
I came to stand over her, my fists clenching. "And that's what you want? Me to kiss you?”
She leaned her head back to stare up at me, her throat bobbing, and nodded. “That’s the last birthday present I want from you.”
I studied her, carefully considering it, but really, how could I say no?
“Okay.” I sat down and leaned against her wall, then pulled her into my lap. I took my time, not wanting this moment to be ruined by thoughts about her stupid parents. I began to sing, something I rarely did, threading my fingers through her hair to undo her braids. I sang a song I’d heard in the States, about growing up and falling in love with your best friend. I think the lyrics were about a dog but what did I know? As I sang, I ran my fingers through her braids, loosening them, and she began to relax.
She closed her eyes, humming softly along with me while I played with her hair.
Then, when the song was over, I leaned over and pressed my lips, not to hers, but to her nose. She wrinkled it, smiling softly, and I moved towards her cheeks, along the top of her forehead and temples, until finally, I grasped her chin. “Look at me.”
She opened her eyes and I stared into them. “Tatiana Krapivnik, mypolva, I swear that, from this day forward, I will do anything you ask. Including kiss you.”
Then I kissed her, and in that moment, I fell head over heels in love with my very own best friend.
SEVEN
PRESENT DAY
I ignored Tatiana for the next two weeks, cancelling all our appointments, my thoughts and mood growing darker.
Apparent-fucking-ly, I was a masochist.
During the day, I tortured myself with thoughts about how that night could’ve gone better, how shehadopened herself to me, just as I’d hoped, then how everything went to shit after that.
At night, I dreamed about her and Rook kissing, twisting and turning it into something more than it had been.
Because when I was awake, I knew that they didn’t love each other, not how we had, and that their relationship could never be more than what Tatiana and I were meant to be, ever.
But in the dark, I couldn’t stop the nightmares. Couldn’t stop seeing that cum marked panty, over and over.