Page 5 of Too Good to Be True

Seth

G eorge accompanies me to Rowan's office, who immediately stands up to greet me.

“Good morning.”

“Good morning to you.” He extends his hand to me. I shake it awkwardly.

“I brought…” I put a carton with two coffees on his desk and sit. “I didn’t know what you preferred, so I got a black one without sugar and one with cream.”

“You shouldn’t have bothered.”

“I also brought…” I place the envelope on his table. “Two scones. One is wholemeal.”

Rowan raises an eyebrow.

“I imagined that…” I point at him with an awkward gesture. “Well, that… You work out a lot.”

He cannot hide a smirk. “You say?”

“It certainly doesn’t go unnoticed all your…” I stop, looking for the right word. “Muscles.”

This time, he laughs.

“Thanks for the coffee, which I prefer black, no sugar.”

I hand him the right cup, happy to have guessed right.

“But you don’t have to bother, really.”

“No bother. After all you are doing for me, it is the least.”

“I haven’t done anything yet.”

“But I trust you.”

“Mmm…”

“You’re my lawyer, right?”

“I am.” He takes a sip of coffee, then sets the cup on the desk next to a stack of papers that I’m afraid are pertinent to my case.

“So,” I begin, nervous. “What’s… what’s going on?”

Rowan takes off his glasses and looks me straight in the eye. “There is no other way to say this.”

“O-okay.”

“The kids’ grandmother, Mrs McCormack, has applied for sole custody. And that’s not all. She has requested their immediate removal from your care.”

I touch my chest with my hand, feeling the weight of his words.

“She considers you unfit to take care of them. And she believes you can be a bad influence.”

“She doesn’t even know me!”

“She has produced a lot of... Evidence to support her thesis.”

“Evidence? What kind of evidence?”

Rowan puts on his glasses again, opens the folder and takes out some photos; he arranges them on the desk under my nose.

“It was a party. A theme party,” I justify myself after seeing photos of The Full Monty night a few months ago at the club.

He pulls out more, arranging them on the desk.

My face feels like it’s on fire when I see myself portrayed in that way, wearing nothing but a revealing thong. I can’t believe these photos are being used against me.

“It was a private party.”

They also paid me well for the evening. I was able to buy shoes for Mason so he could play rugby on the school team.

“Apparently, it wasn’t so private, as people circulated these photos freely.”

“Can they take the kids away from me just for these?”

“Let’s say they don’t play in your favour.”

“I guess not, but pictures from a party do not define a person.”

“A judge might not think so.”

I sigh, defeated.

“Seth, these photos barely scratch the surface.”

“What… what’s wrong?”

“You are alone.”

It hurts to hear this, but I can’t help nodding.

“You have a precarious job.”

“It’s not precarious. It’s just at night.”

“You don’t have medical insurance.”

“I have always paid for visits and exams.”

“But now there are four of you. There’s not just you.”

“I can take extra shifts.”

“More hours away from home? At night?”

“I don’t know how to do anything else, I told you.”

“You could try interviewing.”

“Have you looked at me?”

Rowan gives me a look that hurts more than all I get daily.

“I get it. You’re like everyone else.”

“Everyone else?”

“People. On the street. In the supermarket. Outside school. You look at me the same way.”

“I don’t know what you mean…”

“Please. I may not be as intelligent and cultured as you, but I am not stupid.”

“I don’t think you are. And I assure you, I don’t look at you like that. No one in this firm would ever do that.”

I barely blush, grateful for his words.

“But it doesn’t matter what I think or how I look at you. I’m here to help you win this case. Do you want to win this case, Seth?”

“They are all I have, and I am all they have left.”

“Please don’t cry again.”

“I can hold back.”

Rowan sighs, then pushes the usual box of tissues towards me.

“I don’t want you to hold back, not when you’re here, OK?”

“But you said tears make you uncomfortable.”

“I said that.”

I take a tissue and immediately wipe my eyes. “I’m fine,” I say, taking a deep breath.

I don’t want Rowan to feel uncomfortable because of me. I can contain my emotions for a few minutes.

“I like working where I am now. It’s a good environment, despite what they say or think. It’s like a big family.”

“I don’t doubt it, but the fact that you’re not home at night doesn’t help.”

“I only work four days a week, and during the day I’m there, I take them to school, pack their lunch, and help them with their homework. Then, I don’t always come back so late. And then there’s Ross.”

“Ross… Your friend?” Rowan takes notes as I speak.

“He is the best friend you could wish for, and he is great with children. He is someone you can always count on. We’ve been friends for years, since the days…” I stop before I talk too much, as usual.

Rowan’s pen also stops. “I know you’ve been in jail, Seth. I’m your lawyer.”

I lower my gaze, disappointed. I don’t know why I didn’t want Rowan to know, and I don’t know how I thought I could keep this part of my life hidden. I’m so na?ve.

“I was… I was… I was a drug addict.”

“I’m not here to judge. I told you.”

“He was the one who got me out.”

Rowan raises his eyes to me.

“My brother, Mark.” I smile at the memory of his embrace when I got out of jail, the warmth I felt around me, and the hope he gave me with just one look. “I owe him everything.”

Rowan drops his notes, rises, and leans his back against the armchair, arms on the armrests. He has the relaxed posture of one who is there, ready to listen.

“My parents threw me out when I was nineteen. I was a drug addict, true, but… We didn’t get along before, anyway. They had some problems with…” I look at myself instinctively and smile, sad. “The way I am.” I shrug and take a moment to absorb the memories running through my mind.

My parents disapproved of my choices and lifestyle.

Our relationship was quite strained, but everything came to a head when they discovered my addiction.

They could tolerate a gay son around the house, but they could not accept a junkie.

“It didn’t take me long to get into trouble.

They didn’t want to help me, but Mark never gave up on me.

He was the one, you know, who paid for rehab.

He and Jillian. She was the sister I never had and didn’t know I wanted. Together they were… And I am…”

“They must have been wonderful people.”

“They were, and those children… They are the picture of them. They are so smart, nice, and united. I just want to be able to love them.” I grab a tissue and blow my nose. “I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be sorry, please.”

“I’m a mess!” I blow my nose again. “I’m sure you’ve never had a client like me.”

“Don’t worry about me, Seth. I’m not a problem.” He gives me a smile, showing off his perfect, probably soft lips that can make you all hot and bothered, I bet, and his deep eyes that I’m sure can take you on a wild and unforgettable ride through a dark night.

No, Rowan. The problem here is you and how I shamelessly fantasised about you from the moment I set foot in this office.

“But there are problems, and we must find a solution together.”

Together.

Oh God! How well it sounds pronounced from his lips!

“Are you with me on this?”

“Thousand per thousand,” I answer on the spur of the moment.

“OK,” he barely laughs. “OK.”

Was he aware that I was fantasising about at least ten scenarios where he’d call my name with those lips?

“Let’s get to work, then, shall we? We have a lot of points to discuss this morning, and unfortunately, there is not much time. I need your full attention.”

“You have it. My total attention.”

And maybe something more, too.

He turns his eyes back to my folder, which, at this point, I imagine contains all my most embarrassing secrets. I’m afraid we have to analyse them point by point.

God, help me.

“We must be prepared for anything, Seth,” he resumes. “That means preparing ourselves and the kids.”

“The kids?”

He looks at me again.

“Is it… er… really necessary?”

“You don’t want them to be unaware and unprepared, right?”

“No, of course not.” I drink some of the coffee that plants itself in my throat, along with the rapidly forming knot of anxiety.

“You didn’t tell them anything, did you?”

“I… Um…”

“Seth.”

“I was planning to do it.”

Rowan looks at me sideways.

“Soon. Very soon. Tonight.”

“You’d better because I have to meet them and quickly. We don’t have much time.”

“Meet them… Here?”

“Is there a problem?”

“The last time they were in an office like this… It was not an easy time for them.”

Rowan immediately changes expression.

“I know we can’t avoid it, but I was wondering if it could be done in a place more familiar to them. Like my house.”

“I don’t make house calls.”

“No, of course, I understand that.”

“But I think I can make an exception.”

“Really? For me?”

“For the kids,” he specifies. “I can do it for them. I can understand what they are already going through. I don’t want to be the one to cause them more pain. It’s going to be hard enough in court.”

“Thank you. I really appreciate it.”

“We can arrange a meeting at your place.”

I touch my chest, grateful.

“But now, let’s think about us. There is so much work to do, and you are a mess.”

I smile. I don’t mind at all.

“And we don’t want you to be one in the eyes of the judge.”

“I know you are a good lawyer, and I have no doubts about your skills, but I don’t think you can do miracles.”

Rowan looks intensely into my eyes for a moment, and it is as if all my insecurity melts away in their warmth.

“There is a first time for everything.”