Page 33 of Too Good to Be True

Rowan

“ H ow do I look?” Seth asks me again, adjusting his tie.

I turn to him. “You are fine, as I have told you a hundred times already since this morning.”

“I just want to make sure I look my best.”

I look at him again. The thought of his body slipping through my hands sends a wave of heat and shivers through me.

I want to tell him that he’s always perfect in my eyes.

I want to tell him that he doesn’t have to force himself to be something that isn’t him, because I admire everything he is.

I want to tell him that his closeness has shaken me and that his kisses have slowly and unexpectedly brought me back to life, but right now I am his lawyer: I have to concentrate and I have to make sure that he concentrates too, and above all that he doesn’t lose his nerve.

“I should have worn my lucky shirt—the pink one, which is also the sexiest. I don’t like grey; It doesn’t go with my skin tone.”

“This isn’t a fashion show, Seth,” I tell him, harsher than he deserves. “And you don’t need to impress anyone.”

“Oh, sure,” his expression is disappointed. “I just wanted to look credible. I thought form was important.”

“It is,” I say reluctantly. “But as I just told you, you’re fine. You’re understated.”

“Understated…” He grimaces. “It just doesn’t suit me.”

“I thought you were willing to do anything to win this case.”

“And I am. It’s just that…”

The judge enters the courtroom, interrupting Seth before he can continue. We all stand up and wait for him to take his seat and declare the trial to begin, then I take a deep breath and focus my strength and thoughts on the case, putting everything else aside for the sake of the children.

“WHO ARE ALL these experts?” Seth asks at the third psychologist called to testify by the other side.

“Just someone called to fill the judge with chatter, don’t worry.”

“How can I not worry? Have you heard what they say about me? About the influence I could have on my niblings?”

“They are here to do their job, or rather, the interests of the other party, just as I am here to do yours. Please stay calm and leave it to me”.

“Stay calm? Mmm… I can’t promise anything, but I trust you.

” His fingers gently squeeze my forearm.

An intimate gesture that at another time would have made me smile, but now we’re in court, I’m here in an official role, and even if we’re lying to this court about our relationship, that doesn’t mean I’m ready to show our status to the world.

I sit up straight and fix my tie, ready to stand up and call our witnesses.

We also have our own expert, a child psychologist with whom I have worked in the past, who gives a clear insight into the situation the children find themselves in, the family and serene environment, the affection that surrounds them and the fact that Seth has always been a part of their lives, unlike the other party who is a complete stranger to the children.

Then it is the turn of Mr Yang, who proves to be a valuable help and friend to Seth, and a figure of reference for the children. Just as I am about to call Ross, the judge decides to break for lunch.

“How’s it going?” Mason approaches us immediately.

“Good, isn’t it?” Seth replies, then asks me for confirmation.

“Not bad.”

For now . I keep it to myself. I know the worst is yet to come.

“I’m taking the kids out for lunch,” Seth says. “Will you join us?”

“I’d rather stay here and prepare the next step.”

“Would you like us to bring you something?”

“I’m fine, thank you.”

“But you haven’t eaten anything, and you only had a protein shake this morning,” Seth reminds me.

“I never eat during a trial. Now, if you don’t mind…”

“Sure, we’ll leave right away. If you need us, we’ll be at the café just around the corner.”

I look at my watch. “Try to be here in forty-five minutes at the most, the break only lasts an hour.”

“We’ll be on time, Mr Kennedy.” Seth leaves the courtroom with the children, followed by Mr Yang and Ross, while I brace myself for unwanted comments from Paul, who has stayed with me.

“Say what you have to say and then shut up for the rest of the day.”

“I don’t have anything to say.”

“Then why did you stay?”

“I thought I could help.”

“I’ve got everything under control.” I sit down and start going through my notes.

“You’re always in control.” Paul sits down beside me. “I wonder if you really believe that.”

“Didn’t you just say you had nothing to say?”

“Maybe I changed my mind.”

I take off my glasses and start to massage my eyes. “What do you want, Paul?”

“Why are you so hard on him?”

“What do you mean?”

Paul gives me a dirty look.

“I’m just focused.” And cold. And distant. As if I hadn’t been in bed with him. As if I hadn’t held him to my chest. As if he hadn’t caressed me and brought me back when memories tried to drag me down again. “I can’t afford any distractions in the courtroom.”

“I understand that, but you’re also here as… How shall I put it…”

“I know very well in what role I am here.”

“Sometimes you seem to forget.”

“How could I, when you are always there to remind me?”

“Hey! I wasn’t the one who suggested that you pretend to be his partner.”

No, this is all my own doing.

“Now you have to continue with this strategy or it will be the end for him.”

And for me.

I am afraid that the end has already begun for me.

“I don’t want to be the one to say it, but if things get bad…”

“I’m not marrying Seth, Paul. There’s no way I’m doing that. It was a long shot, I admit it, but at the time, I just wanted time to prepare the case and him. And that’s what I got.”

“Mmm…”

“Stop it. It’s just fiction. Nothing more.”

“Even sleeping with him was fiction?”

“That was… collateral damage.”

“Collateral damage?” Seth’s voice makes us both turn. I get to my feet quickly, but I can tell by his tear-filled eyes that I am already well beyond any chance of redemption.

“I just came to…” He shows me a sandwich. “I thought that you might be hungry and…” he says, sobbing. “And I thought that… I thought it was true.”

“And I thought you were less na?ve.”

Seth’s eyes go wide, struck by my unjustifiably bad outcome.

“Seth…”

“We’re just a case to win for you.”

“What did you think it was?”

He smiles bitterly, then wipes his eyes. “Forget it. Someone like you could never understand.”

“Someone like me? What do you mean?’

“Heartless.”

He leaves the sandwich on one of the benches in the front row, then turns and leaves the courtroom in the deafening silence that has returned in my life and my heart.

“YOU SHOULD GO and talk to him,” Paul suggests again. The judge is about to return, but Seth has not yet taken his seat next to me. I think he’s trying to delay as long as he can.

“This is not the time.”

“The more time passes, the more irredeemable you become.”

“I don’t need a lawyer.”

“You never need anything.”

“Here I am, I came as soon as I could,” Vanessa runs towards us. She kisses Paul, then hugs me. “What did I miss?” she asks, looking at us both.

“Nothing love, just our Rowan screwing up his love life.”

“Will you stop?” I say between my teeth.

“I don’t understand.” Vanessa looks at me, waiting for an explanation.

“I screwed up, okay?” I say impatiently. “I’m stressed and worried. It’s not an easy thing.”

“And he thought it was appropriate to take out his frustration on poor Seth.”

“You’re not helping me to be less nervous.”

“And he sits here wasting his time instead of going to apologise.”

Vanessa wrinkles her forehead. “Maybe I should have come earlier.”

“Don’t blame yourself, he was on the wrong track from the moment he walked into the courtroom this morning, maybe even before.”

“There are three children’s futures on the line, Paul,” I remind him, in case it had slipped his mind.

“I’m sure Rowan will know how to make things right once he wins this case.” Vanessa gives me an encouraging smile.

“See?” I point at her and turn to Paul. “That’s what friends are for.”

Paul rolls his eyes.

“I’m going to say hi to Seth and the kids,” Vanessa informs us. “Are you able to not make any more messes in my absence?”

“Hey!” Paul groans. “I didn’t do anything!”

Vanessa gives him an eloquent look, before walking away towards Seth and the kids. I watch her as she approaches, brushes his arm, then she hugs him, because he needs support, presence, trust even, all the things I should be giving him right now, and not just as a lawyer.

I knew I would complicate everything by sleeping with him, yet I went ahead anyway.

Vanessa also hugs the kids, then hands a tissue to Seth, who has once again let go of his emotions.

“You better marry that girl before she realises you are not the best on the market.”

Paul laughs.

“I mean it.”

“I know you mean it because I know you are right.”

“You know too many things.”

“Uh, and you know what else I know?”

“You’ll tell me anyway.”

“You don’t find guys like that. Good, true and willing to do anything for the sake of those around him.

” He nods at Seth as if I need help understanding who he is talking about.

“You’d better make it up to him, and soon, because there are hundreds of boring, arrogant, muscle-bound lawyers like you out there. ”

“Fuck off, Paul.”

“You haven’t sent me there yet today.”

“There’s always time to make up for it.”

ROSS’ TESTIMONY brings nothing more and nothing less to the case.

A friend testifying on your behalf is never a great asset, it rather serves to show that you are surrounded by a community.

Fortunately, the other side is not making much of the fact that Ross works in the same club as Seth, at least for now.

I have three interviews scheduled for him next week.

I glance at him. He is sitting in his chair, in silence. His hands in his lap. The pained expression. He remains calm, despite what I have just said to him, which impresses me greatly. And I know he is making an effort. Just as I know how much it cost him to decide to change job.

“We have one last witness for today, Your Honour,” the opposing lawyer says in surprise.

I stand up immediately. “What witness are we talking about?”

“David McCormack. The kids’ maternal uncle.”

I immediately turn to Seth. His face is pale, the expression of someone who has seen a ghost from the past, his nervous fingers still intertwined.

It takes me a few seconds to realise that this witness can only do us harm.

“Your Honour, I was not aware of this new witness.”

“Come closer,” the judge calls to both of us.

“Your Honour, the list must be provided to the other party in advance.”

“Mr McCormack only became available today, Your Honour.”

“And where has he been hiding all this time?” I ask, a hint of sarcasm in my voice.

“He only came out this morning from the Rehab where he voluntarily checked himself in.” The lawyer hands a document to the judge.

I slowly turn to look at Seth, his eyes filled with tears as he mimics an “I’m sorry.” Then, the judge declares the witness valid, and the feeling of having just lost everything, not just this case, washes over me.