Page 35 of Too Good to Be True

“You may continue.”

“Thank you very much.” Seth takes a deep breath, turns his eyes to me. “I’m not proud of what I did.”

The opposing lawyers chuckle, and I want to silence them with a straight punch through their teeth.

“I was a person with many problems at that time in my life. As you have said many times in this courtroom.” Now he looks straight at them.

“I am a former drug addict,” he emphasises the word ‘former’.

“And as I think this court knows better than I do, when you’re an addict, it’s like you’re a different person, especially when you need something to make you feel good.

It was a dark time for me, really dark. I hadn’t hit rock bottom yet, but I was very close, and yet Mark and Jillian wanted me at their wedding.

They always wanted me, you know,” he says to everyone.

“Unlike our parents, who cut me out of their lives as soon as they found out about my problem, Mark always believed in me and that one day I would be able to take my life back. But that was not the day. I was down, I was broke, I didn’t even have a place to stay at the time.

Mark had helped me find a place in rehab, again,” he wipes away a single tear and continues.

“And he was so proud of my progress that he wanted me to be his best man at his wedding. I knew inside that I was not ready for the world, or to live with myself, but I had let him down so many times in the past. I didn’t want to do it again.

Not that day. It’s true what they said about me, Your Honour.

Mr McCormack and I stole our respective sister and brother’s wedding presents and sold them to get high.

We got a room in a hotel and got high for days, not remembering how or when we got there.

We spent our time having… S-sex—though I remember very little of it—and getting high, until we were so sick that…

” He pauses for a moment. “To be honest, Your Honour, I don’t know how we got out alive and…

” Another pause, he almost seems to stop breathing.

“I’m sorry,” he says to the judge, who nods.

I’m the one who’s sorry, Seth. For yelling at you. For not listening to you. And for not believing in you.

“I trusted him. I thought Mr McCormack was really interested in me… Well, I was as na?ve as ever. I’m not trying to shift blame, I’m responsible for what I did.

I wasn’t forced to do it, I was manipulated…

Perhaps. You see, it was Mr McCormack who brought the drugs to the reception.

Who made moves on me all night, made me think he wanted to be with me, when he was just looking for an accomplice.

It was his idea. I went along with it, but I would never have thought of such a thing if I hadn’t been on drugs. ”

“Your Honour,” one of the lawyers stands up. “Mr Graham is just trying to wash his hands of this.”

“If there is anything I have learned from my bad behaviour, it is to take responsibility, Your Honour. That is why I am here to tell this story, not to allow my lawyer to speak for me.”

I can’t help but feel guilty about how I treated him and how I tried to silence his voice.

“It was Mark who found me after those days of confusion and oblivion. Mark and Jillian, Your Honour. They took me back to rehab, paid for my treatment, and told me, lovingly but severely, that this would be the last time, and that if I didn’t make it, I would find nothing waiting for me when I returned.

And then…” He puts his hand to his mouth.

“And then Jillian told me she was pregnant.” Seth looks at the kids.

“And it was like something suddenly woke me up, Your Honour. I wanted to be part of the family, I wanted to be a brother, a brother-in-law, an uncle. I wanted to be part of it. It was my nephew Mason,” he points to him with tears in his eyes. “To give me a reason to live again.”

I look at Mason too, his eyes filled with tears of love for Seth.

“That was my bottom. And after that… After that came rebirth. Thanks and them.” Seth points at the kids. “But after my discharge, I found Mrs McCormack ready to accuse me of being solely responsible.”

There are whispers in the courtroom.

“Mark and Jillian, however, knew the truth. They persuaded Mr McCormack not to denounce me. From then on, relations between Jillian and her family became strained.”

“Your Honour!” The lawyer stands up immediately. “These are slanderous allegations against my client!”

“I’m just telling the truth,” Seth defends himself. “I’m not accusing anyone.”

“Your Honour,” I also rise. “I believe my client has explained the matter fully.”

“I agree, Mr Kennedy. Thank you, Mr Graham, you may go.” Seth stands and walks back to his seat. “Let’s resume after a short break, I think the children need it,” the judge says before adjourning.

“Seth…” I go over to him immediately, but the kids huddling around him beat me to it. I decide to take a step back and let them have their moment without some stupid, know-it-all lawyer getting in the way.

SETH’S TESTIMONY did not impress the judge. I realised this during the reprise. His gaze was hard, his tone too; he seemed already leaning towards a decision, even if it’s not over yet. Unfortunately, I have only a few cartridges left, and I’m afraid what I’m thinking of is extreme and dangerous.

“Tell me again, why are you here and not at home with your fake family?” Paul asks, provoking my irritation.

“Are you trying to tell me that I’m in the way?”

“No, what are you saying?” Vanessa quickly intervenes. “You’re always welcome here with us.” She touches my arm and gives me an understanding smile.

“Thank you, Vanessa. I really appreciate it. You are a true friend.”

“What have I done now?” Paul complains.

“Let’s just say you’re being an idiot as usual.”

“But I haven’t even spoken!”

“Your face is enough.”

Paul looks to Vanessa for help.

“Maybe I’ll leave you two alone.” She stands up, carrying his container of takeaway food.

“That’s not necessary,” I try to stop her, but she smiles at me lovingly.

“I have work to do anyway,” she excuses herself. She gives me a kiss on the cheek, then hugs Paul from behind. “I’ll be in the office.” She kisses him briefly on the lips before disappearing into the office. Vanessa is also a lawyer. She works in Environmental Law.

“I’ll never understand what she sees in you,” I say to Paul, who replies with a grimace.

“I could say the same about your ‘client’,” he says, making a quote sign with his fingers.

“Stop it.”

“You started it.”

I snort before letting go of my food. “I’m starting to think we’re not going to make it.”

“I’m starting to think that too, and you know I’m always positive, but this time… It would take a miracle.”

“A miracle, you say. Maybe not a miracle, but…”

“What are you talking about?”

“If I told you I had something in my hand, something that could decide the fate of the case.”

“I’d tell you to spit it out, right now.” Paul puts the chopsticks in his container and dabs his mouth with a napkin.

“I’m in possession of information… Personal. Very personal information that could help us win.”

“And will you share it with me?”

“He’ll never forgive me.” I bend over the briefcase on the floor next to the chair, open it, and pull out the letter I took from Seth’s belongings without his permission.

Paul opens it, a few lines and his eyes snap to mine.

“This is what it takes.” He points to the letter with his finger. “This can really make a difference.”

“I don’t know if I can do this.”

“What do you mean? Of course you can!”

“Seth doesn’t want anyone else to read it.”

“I don’t think I understand.”

“These are his brother’s last words to him. They are important and they belong to him alone. He doesn’t want to use them to win.”

“Then why are you showing them to me?”

“I don’t know.”

“Does he know you have them?”

I lower my head, guilty.

“You took it without his consent?”

“I thought that… I don’t know. I did a terrible thing, I know that, but you saw the judge’s face today, and you heard how they described him.”

“You want my approval?”

“I don’t know what to do.”

“You are his lawyer. You were hired to win his case.”

“If I give this letter to the judge, I’ll be done with him forever. But if I don’t…"

If I don’t, the kids will probably be taken away from him. And I made a promise. And this time I intend to keep it. Whatever the cost.

“You have to think about what is most important right now. This is not about you, Rowan. As much as you may have real feelings for your fake boyfriend…”

“The kids. The kids are everything to Seth. He can’t lose them, and they can’t lose him.”

I want the kids to stay with him. And I am prepared to do whatever it takes to make that happen.

I am also ready to lose them.

“I think you know very well what you have to do.”