Page 58 of The Queen’s Shadow

“Listen. I like you; I do. But do not fucking push me. I don’t have time for you to pussyfoot the fuck around here. You think I’m a bad guy? I’m nothing compared to the people who have Kasha. The daemons who are keeping your daughter’s mate hostage right now make me look like a fucking house cat.

“I meant what I said back at the Abbey place. I am saving Kasha. If anyone, and I mean anyone, gets in the way of this mission, I will kill them. That includes you. So, you can either get the fucking ammo, or go wait in the godsdamned van.”

Jeremy stared at me for several seconds as I held him up by his shirt. Finally, he nodded.

“Fine.” He snapped, and I grinned, letting him go.

“Great. Glad we’re on the same page. NATO and Parabellum. Hurry the fuck up.”

‘What the hell, Rycon?’ Raven snapped into my earpiece. I pushed the button that allowed me to respond.

“Everything is fine, we were just talking.” I quipped back, smiling and waving at the camera. “Right, Pops?”

I returned to the cage full of submachine guns, swiping two MP5’s and tucking them into the oversized duffle. I had enough room left for maybe one shotgun and a few handguns and that was it.

“Fuck off.” Jeremy murmured from where he was shoving boxes of ammo into his bag, and I chuckled. I really did like the guy. I just wished he would pull the giant stick out of his ass and loosen up a bit.

“I don’t get it.” He continued, and I cocked an eyebrow as I moved on to check out what we had for handguns.

“Don’t get what?” I asked, without looking at him.

“I don’t get how she can trust you, after everything you’ve done. You don’t even seem remorseful about any of it. You brag about being a mercenary and threaten to kill everyone every chance you get… even people on your team. How anyone here trusts you is beyond me.”

“Hmm,” I hummed, eyeing up the selection of handguns. Predictably, there were mostly Glock 22’s available, which was fine with me. 22’s held more rounds than most standard handguns of the same size and weight, which is why the police force tended to favor them.

Into the bag they went.

“I don’t know what to tell you, I guess I’m just charming as fuck.” I replied absently, zipping up the bag and turning to face him. “Pack a bunch of 40 S&Ws for the handguns.” I said, doing one more sweep of the armory to see if there was anything else worth grabbing.

“What’s to stop you from turning on her, one day?” Jeremy asked. It sounded more like he was asking himself than me. The way he was eyeing the pack of ammo in his hands made me narrow my eyes. I suddenly realized that him not trusting me could be dangerous. Especially once he was armed. I was hard to kill, but not indestructible. Enough shots to the head and I wouldn’t be getting back up. I sighed.

“Listen, Pops. I hear you. I wouldn’t trust me either, but you don’t have anything to worry about. The kid has… grown on me.” I realized as I said the words, that they were true. I would miss her if she were suddenly gone from my life. She had somehow clawed her way into the small handful of people that I give a shit about.

“Outside of the fact that we’re bonded and if she dies, I literally die too, I’m not going to hurt her. If anything, I would likely go pretty far out of my way to protect her from the assholes that do want to hurt her.”

Jeremy continued to shove ammo into his duffle without looking up at me, but I knew he was listening.

“You have to understand, when I did those things, I didn’t know her at all. I had just been bound against my will to someone I had literally been hired to kill. My life as I knew it was suddenly over, and all I wanted to do was get back to what I did best.”

Jeremy scowled at me. “What you did best… you mean murder, kidnap, and rape people?”

“Hey.” I snapped, “The first two, sure, but I’ve never raped anyone in my life. You can rest easy knowing that. Trust me, when I take females to my bed, they’re more than willing and happy to be there.” I smirked at him, and he just gave me a disgusted look.

“But essentially, yes. I am good at those things. I have no problem killing, kidnapping, or torturing people. I don’t even need to be paid to do it either. Sometimes I do it just because I fucking want to.

“I’m not going to lie to you and say I’m a good person, or a nice guy, but you should know better than most that evil exists on a spectrum. The people we’re going up against are so far on the other end of that spectrum, they make my toes curl.

“Dealing with monsters like Ash Nevra always gets fucking ugly, and the good guys never want to get their hands dirty when shit gets dark. You need someone mean enough to be willing to do the shitty things that your lily-white morals won’t allow you to do.” I gestured to the duffle bag he had reluctantly packed full of stolen ammo.

“If you’re getting squeamish doing something as mundane as stealing, you’re going to need a villain to help you out when shit starts to really get hardcore… and we both know I’ve never been a fucking hero. So, stop complaining, and let’s get out of here before someone walks in and catches you popping your felony cherry.”

‘Someone’s coming,’ Raven’s voice buzzed through my earpiece, and I glanced at the clock. Perfect timing, we only had a few minutes to spare anyway. I pressed the tiny button that allowed me to respond, but I made eye contact with Jeremy while I did it.

“Good. We’re done here anyway.” I said. Jeremy and I stared at each other in silence until Raven appeared to shadow walk us back to the van.

Amon

Ash Nevra had replaced the triquetra almost immediately after she had finished with me. Its magick resealed the trace I had worked so hard to open. I actually welcomed the opportunity to expend some energy working to reopen the connection through the charm’s repressive magick. Ash Nevra hadn’t allowed me to use my powers since she had enslaved me, and the magickal build up was beginning to feel uncomfortable.