Page 163 of The Queen’s Shadow

“Where is the shadowstone?” One of the witches asked Sabel, as her wound healed before my eyes.

“Tell us and this will all stop.” The other witch cooed, an evil smile curling on her face.

“Never.” Sabel snarled, and I swallowed back the roll of nausea that threatened to creep up the back of my throat. My mind was racing. How could I get around Ash Nevra’s commands?

‘Amon…’

The numbness I had carefully cultivated to protect my own mind suddenly shattered.

I had been a fool to hope that she would stay away. Of course, she would come. If the roles had been reversed, there was nothing that could have kept me from her, but I still had hoped.

Feeling her settle into my mind and peer out at the scene before me was one of the most horrifying things I had ever experienced. The slavery bond didn’t care that I felt as if I had just had my heart ripped from my chest. It demanded that I bring the whip down again.

Raven watched, as I struck, slicing Sabel’s back open so deep I could see her spine glistening through her flesh.

‘Leave!’ I snarled at my mate, as I brought the whip down again. I tried to strike faster, and harder, in an attempt to outpace the healing magick. Sabel’s screams felt like sandpaper on my eardrums. She was sobbing and begging for it to stop. The crowd cheered louder, and Trenton’s voice counted the lashings, each time I made another slice across her back.

‘Is that… Sabel?’ Raven asked, as I continued to tear apart one of my most loyal followers. Blood soaked the sand around her, and she was hanging by her restraints, unable to prop herself up any longer.

I let the horror in my mate’s voice wash over me. She sounded disgusted, and I welcomed it. I opened myself to accept her contempt, and her hatred. It had been a pipe dream to have believed that a monster like me could come anywhere close to deserving her love.

‘Go. Now.’ I didn’t allow her to hear the pain in my voice. I kept myself cold and distant. It was over anyway, now that she had seen who I truly was, she would never look at me the same. I didn’t think I could bear to see the look in her eyes if I were ever lucky enough to see her again. I wanted to remember how she had looked at me when she had told me that she loved me. I didn’t want to see the disgust, and the horror she must be feeling, as she watched me tear ruthlessly into Sabel’s back. Despite knowing that I deserved it.

‘Amon, no, I’m not leaving again. We’ll figure a way out of this. Where is this place? Maybe I can find a clue, and I can shadow walk to you? We can save Sabel -’

‘There is no saving Sabel,’ I snapped, cracking the whip down again, as hard as I could. I aimed for her spine, in an effort to snap it in two. ‘Sabel is dead, and so am I. Forget about us. You need to focus on building allies. Save The Dominion. Save our people, so no one has to suffer Sabel’s fate again.’ I ordered.

‘Amon… you can’t mean that. I can’t abandon you any more than I could choose not to breathe. You know that. Amon, I love you-’

‘You need to get used to the idea of living your life without me, Raven.’ I said, my tone harsh and unforgiving.

I realized it the other night. My time was running out. Ash had brought me too close to death for me not to understand the threat for what it was.

I was valuable, but the more wins Raven took, regardless of the threat of my death, the less valuable I would become. Once Ash Nevra realized that there was nothing she could do to me that would stop Raven from coming for her throne, she would kill me.

I needed Raven to make peace with that and move on. She couldn’t allow my death to distract her. She needed to win, no matter the cost.

‘How could you say that!?’ She hissed, and I snarled right back at her, my heart breaking in my chest as I forced myself to push her away.

‘My life is not important; I have never been what’s important. You are all that matters. You are the one who was prophesied to save us. If my life needs to be forfeit so that you are free to do so, then I will gladly accept my role in this story. She will keep torturing me and force me to torture our people until there is nothing left, Raven. Then she will kill me, and when that happens, you cannot fall apart.’

‘Fuck you!’ She snarled, and for a moment, my heart swelled with pride. She was always so fucking beautiful when she was angry. ‘Fuck you for giving up. You’re a fucking coward.’ She snapped at me, and I didn’t even have the strength to deny it.

Sabel screamed again, as my whip cut into her spine, and I rushed to deliver the next blow before the magick folk could heal the damage. The next strike severed her spinal cord, and her screaming abruptly stopped. She hung limp from her restraints, dead. I exhaled a sigh of relief. She was at peace now. It was over.

The crowd was enraged at Sabel’s death, and the stadium shook with the might of their fury. A chorus of ‘boos’ and jeers rained down around me as they screamed their disappointment that the show had ended so soon. I forced myself to swallow back the bile that once again crept up the back of my throat.

I turned my consciousness inward and gave Raven my undivided attention. I allowed myself a moment to relish in the feel of her soul so close to mine. I wished, more than anything, that we could have had more time together.

Briefly, I wondered what I had done to enrage The Origin so much that he would curse me with such a fleeting taste of happiness, only to cruelly snatch it all away.

Sabel was not the only death I would need to suffer today, and the faster I could get Raven to leave, the better off we both would be.

Finally, I was able to muster enough courage to deliver the final blow and effectively end things, so my mate could focus on saving our people without the added burden of rescuing me.

‘If I am a coward, my love, it is merely another example of how much stronger you are than I am.’ I said, before forcing her out of my mind with everything I had, and slamming my mental shields closed. I didn’t need the triquetra to keep her out.

I could manage that just fine on my own.