Page 146 of The Queen’s Shadow

At least we weren’t alone.

We had each other.

“Do you remember when we first came here?” I asked him. “I was a broken shell. Amon helped me to heal. I wouldn’t have found my way back to the light without him. That’s what being a mate is. That’s what you need to be for Kasha. She’s strong. She’s found her way back from this type of abuse before. This time, she’ll have you to help her. You just need to be there for her.”

He nodded, pressing his tongue into the side of his cheek as he frowned at the little bundle of blankets that swaddled Kasha.

“I’ll be anything she fucking wants me to be.” He said quietly. “And that scares me more than anything.”

I nodded, understanding how scary and overwhelming being in love like this could be. We sat in silence for another beat before he groaned and dropped his head back against the wall again.

“Caring about people is shit.” He sighed and I nodded, the corner of my mouth twitching up.

“Yeah. Loving them is even shittier.”

He chuckled and nudged me roughly in the shoulder. “You’ve got that right.”

“Duh. I’m always right.”

He rolled his eyes but gave me a cocky little smile at the same time.

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say, Kitten.”

Amon

My entire world was just pain. There was no up or down and I could barely breathe as Ash Nevra’s whip came down on me, again and again. I gave up trying not to react after the first strike. There was no fighting it. She had only counted to fifty and I was sure that even with the witch healing my wounds as the punishment wore on, that my back was now nothing more than a gory mess.

So much blood was pouring off of me that it had slid down my bare sides and soaked into the front of my slacks. It spilled in thick red streams into the sand beneath me. Back injuries were so brutal because of how many muscle groups and nerve endings connected to the spine. Every wince, shout of pain, and breath I took, sent me reeling.

I tried to find that dark, peaceful place in my mind that I had built over the centuries to protect me from the regular trauma I was often subjected to. However, even that space was currently beyond my reach.

Thinking of Raven was no comfort. I had left her at that dinner with Vespara and Zayne. I had no idea if she was safe, hurt, captured or dead.

I was almost positive I would know on some instinctive level if she had died, but even if we both survived, the pain each of us would endure for the suffering of the other would be more devastating than the sting of the whip as it cut me to the bone.

I couldn’t bear to think of the worry I would hear in her voice if she found out I had been stupid enough to get myself nearly whipped to death.

Regardless, I didn’t regret it. If I died here, bleeding like a worthless slave, it still would have been better than the feeling of Ash Nevra’s hands on my skin.

The lashings stopped for a moment, giving the witch the opportunity to heal me enough so that I wouldn’t die. It was almost worse when the punishment paused. It gave my body time to absorb and adjust to what it had just been subjected to. I was shaking where I had been forced to brace myself against the whipping post, and the cold rush of shock had begun to spread through my limbs as the witch poured soothing healing magick into my torn flesh.

I closed my eyes and grit my teeth as Kieran’s voice sounded from somewhere behind me.

“My Queen.”

“Kieran! You have returned.” Ash Nevra purred, and I heard her take a few steps away from me. I couldn’t see either of them, nor did I care to. At this moment, it was taking everything I had in me just to remain conscious.

“We have a problem.” Kieran said, his voice hushed. Ash Nevra was silent for a beat. The temperature of the room dropped several degrees.

She was angry.

“That is not what I want to hear, Kieran.” She said, her voice dangerous.

“Vespera is dead. The False Queen killed her, and Prince Zayne has ascended to take her place. He would not allow us entry into Midasara, it seems he has sworn his allegiance to the False Queen in exchange for his freedom.”

Ash Nevra shrieked in rage and more pain tore across my back without warning. The witch leapt back and out of the way as I sagged deeper into the whipping post. Ash Nevra’s whip cut into me over and over in rapid succession. I lost count of how many times the leather bit into my flesh, and I wasn’t sure if she was keeping track anymore either.

I lost the ability to hold myself up against the post. Not even the slavery bond was enough to keep me in position. I slid forward, falling chest first into the sand. Darkness pressed around my vision, and I wondered for a moment if this was truly how I was going to die.