Page 175 of The Queen’s Shadow

I knew I had threatened to sleep with Kasha in the master bedroom, but I had mostly done that just to fuck with her. I didn’t actually have any intention of forcing myself on her like that, no matter how much my arms ached to hold her while she slept. It was like a primal need. I wanted to curl my body around her and protect her from the world, even though she pissed me the fuck off everytime she opened that cute little mouth of hers.

I slid out of my restructium suit and popped open the wardrobe in the guest room, hoping that Rhyalla had it stocked with something I could borrow. To my delight, it was filled with shit that she knew I would like. She must have made a trip into town to fill the closets in here after I had kicked K’yen’s ass and claimed my rightful place as Rhoan.

This wardrobe had a few pairs of grey sweatpants. I wondered idly what she had stocked the master bedroom with as I pulled on a pair of the sweats and stretched again.

I fell onto the soft bed without bothering to get under the blankets and pulled one of the goose down pillows into my chest. I curled around it and pretended that it was Kasha, hoping it would dampen the growing ache and need that was coursing through me, driving me to want to be close to her.

She really must be my mate, for me to crave her this badly. I had heard stories about true life mates, and how it was like a physical attraction. Two people pulled together like magnets, calling to each other through time and space. I hadn’t ever really given it much thought or consideration. I had never had any interest in being mated. There was way too much pussy out there waiting to be fucked for me to ever want to tie myself down to one female.

Now though, the thought of even touching another female made my stomach churn. The thought of Kasha touching another male was even worse.

She had said she hated me. What if she really meant it? What if after she was all healed, she wanted to be with someone else?

I would kill whoever he was and make her fucking watch…FUCK! I was so fucking fucked…

I groaned and rolled over onto my back, staring at the ceiling. I should have drank more Cachaça. I wasn’t nearly as drunk as I wanted to be.

Suddenly, I heard a sound. My ears pricked and I sat up in bed abruptly. It started out as a whimper, then turned into a moan, then a full out scream. Alarm bells went off in my head and I shot out of the guest room so fast my feet barely touched the floor. I blew into Kasha’s room to find her tossing in her sleep, screaming bloody murder.

‘Get off me! Get off me, please, stop. Please not again!’ She was crying and I snarled, wishing I could crawl into her head and beat the fuck out of her nightmares. I bolted to the side of her bed and dropped to my knees, grabbing her by the shoulders.

“Kasha!” I shouted, shaking her roughly. “Kasha, wake up! It’s a dream. You’re dreaming.”

Her eyes flew open, and she was clearly disoriented and still half asleep. She gasped and looked around the room frantically, trying to process her surroundings.

“You’re safe in Olkuyrbe. No one can hurt you here.” I said, trying to keep my voice even and calm. Her wide, brandy eyes fell on me as they filled with tears.

To my surprise, she threw her arms around me and buried her face in the crook of my neck before completely falling apart. She was shaking uncontrollably, and the sobs wracked through her, starting somewhere deep in her core and coming out in great rattling breaths.

Hesitantly, I slid my arms around her too-thin waist and pulled her closer. I cupped my hand around the back of her head and pressed her more securely against my chest.

“Shhh. It’s alright. I’ve got you. You’re alright.” I murmured against her hair, trying to ignore how hard my heart was fucking pounding. She curled her knees beneath her, and I instinctively used the arm that wasn’t pressing her head against me to scoop her up before sitting on the bed and placing her in my lap. I leaned back into the pillows, and she curled up into my arms, making herself so impossibly small, I worried she might break.

Squeezing her tight against me, I let her cry into my shoulder, and I planted gentle kisses on her forehead until her sobs softened and her tears slowed. Soon, her breathing evened out, and she seemed to fall back to sleep.

I let myself hold her for several more moments, before forcing myself to let her go. She had reached for me in a moment of vulnerability, and panic. In the light of day, I didn’t think she would appreciate the fact that I had gotten into bed with her. I wasn’t even one hundred percent sure she had fully woken up from that night terror. She probably wouldn’t even remember this in the morning. I sighed and moved as gently as I could, trying not to disturb her as I slid her off of me and back onto the bed.

When I was confident she was settled, I swung my legs over the edge and moved to stand up, but stopped when her hand reached out and curled around my wrist. I glanced back to find her looking up at me with those impossibly large eyes and a little frown pinching her brow.

“Rycon…” She whispered, and I hesitated, before turning back to face her.

“Yeah, what is it?” I asked, my voice felt rough, and my throat was tight.

She swallowed and pursed her lips.

“You didn’t come back… earlier. I thought you would come back.”

I frowned at her, not understanding. “I didn’t think you wanted me to come back.”

“I thought you didn’t care about that. You said you were going to sleep wherever you wanted.”

I sighed and rubbed the corners of my eyes, annoyed with myself for always being such a dick.

“I shouldn’t have said that. I was just mad. I’m not going to do anything that might hurt you, Kasha. Especially not something like that.”

She watched me, her eyes searching my face as if I were some great puzzle she was trying to work out.

“You should get some rest.” I said, standing up. “I’m in the other room if you need anything.”