Page 49 of The Queen’s Shadow

The callous way in which he referred to the assault made my stomach churn. He seemed more worried that I thought he wanted it to happen, than with the abuse itself. Hearing the soft lilt of worry in the tone of his voice made me feel violently ill.

Still on the floor, I crawled closer to my bed and leaned back against it. I hugged my knees to myself and pretended it was him I was holding.

“You think I’m upset because I’m worried it might have meant something to you? Of course I don’t think that. Amon that was… she raped you.” I forced myself to say it out loud and the word felt like broken glass on my tongue. It felt so sharp, that I literally touched my hand to my lips to see if I was bleeding.

He grew still in my mind, and I could tell he was trying to choose his next words carefully, which upset me even more. Why was he here, trying to comfort me? He was the one being tortured. He was the one facing the consequences of my actions.

‘Raven, I want you to listen to me.’ He said, his voice was somehow soft, but firm at the same time. ‘I have spent a very long time serving Ash Nevra. There is nothing she can do to me, that she has not already done several times before.

‘Of course, it is uncomfortable, and painful, and of course I wish things were different, and that I were home with you instead of here. However, she is not doing these things to hurt me. She is doing them to hurt you. To discourage you from acting against her. She is doing it, because she is scared, and she knows you have the power to truly be a threat to her.

‘You cannot stop what you are doing because you are afraid she will take it out on me. Do you understand? Whatever she does to me, I can handle, as I have for centuries.’

“Don’t act like what she is doing to you is nothing. I was inside your head. I could feel what you were feeling.” I snapped.

He paused again, and I felt his sadness and concern swell through me like a cool tide over hot sand. After a long moment of silence, he finally spoke again.

‘The hardest part, for me, was that you were there to see it. I did not want it to poison the way you look at me. The way you feel about me.’ He sounded vulnerable, and heart wrenchingly sad. He paused for a moment, before continuing.

‘I would understand, you know. If you did… feel differently. I am sure that was not easy for you to see.’ He waited for me to respond, and I could feel his anxiety, his anticipation. He was waiting, I realized, to see if I would confirm his worst fears. To see if I would confirm that she had managed to successfully drive some sort of a wedge between us.

“Amon,” I breathed, tilting my head back against the bed, staring up at the ceiling. “I love you. I will always love you. There is nothing she can do to take that away. I am yours.” I promised him. I felt him swell with emotion, and he pressed an image of him kissing me into my mind. I closed my eyes as he brushed his magick across the insides of my lips, making them tingle.

‘I don’t deserve you,’ his voice was rough, and I wished, again, that I could touch him. He curled his power through my body, stretching it softly through every inch of me, filling me up until I let out a breathy shudder. ‘I love you, so much. You make it all worth it. You make it bearable. I can survive this, because I know that when it is over, I will be back home with you, and this will all just have been a nightmare.’

“Amon…” I gasped as his energy stroked through me methodically, making my blood sing.

‘What is the first thing I should do to you when I’m home, Raven?’ He purred into my mind. I could feel his amusement at the way my body was reacting to him. Home. When he came home to me.

‘Should I kiss you here?’ His magick slid up the inside of my skin, gathering in my breasts, making my nipples peak and my skin flush. I bit my lip against a moan, and I felt him smirk.

‘Or here?’ He asked, and his energy rushed away from my breasts to pool between my thighs. My heart rate increased, and a familiar tightness began to grow in my core. He chuckled in my mind.

‘I bet I can make you come just by doing this.’ He hummed, as he continued to stroke me from the inside out. It was as if he was truly touching me. Though I wished I could physically touch him and feel the solidness of him against me, I found myself relaxing into it, and my legs spread of their own accord. He noticed and I could feel his approval course through my body.

‘That’s it, Raven. Let go. Why don’t you touch yourself for me?’ He whispered as he continued the relentless and delicious pressure of his magick against my core. ‘Show me what you want me to do to you when I get home.’

My face flushed at the thought. I suddenly felt shy and unsure. He chuckled in my mind again.

‘I will help you,’ he promised as he pressed firmly against that spot that felt so deliciously good. I gasped and arched against the feeling, my hand moving on its own accord to slide down the front of my pants. ‘Take them off. I want to watch you.’ He demanded softly, and I shivered. I hesitated for a moment, feeling vulnerable and exposed. But something in his tone told me he needed this, just as much as I did. He needed me. I refused to feel embarrassed or ashamed in front of him.

I did as I was told and slid the soft cotton pants off quickly before leaning back against the bed, positioning my fingers over myself.

‘Look at what you’re doing, so I can see.’

He let out a low hiss as he took in the sight of my fingers running up and down my center. ‘Spread yourself open.’ He ordered as he vibrated another flood of magick against me from the inside. It was as if he was trying to reach my fingers from the other side of my skin. I cried out in pleasure and once again, I did what I was told. ‘Keep your eyes open Raven, let me look at you.’

I looked down so he could see, and I felt my cheeks flush again as he took me in.

‘So pretty,’ he murmured, almost reverently. ‘Now, get your fingers wet, dip them inside then rub back up over yourself. Right… here,’ He breathed as he flooded that little bundle of nerves with his magick. I groaned, arching against the sensation and he growled. ‘Do what I say, Raven.’ I could feel the urgency in his tone, as I slid my fingers inside myself, coating them in my own wetness before sliding them back up over that tiny mound of pure sensation.

‘Does that feel good?’ He asked me, as I continued to slide my fingers over myself, his power rubbing steadily against me from the inside. I whimpered and nodded, the build-up of pleasure was already beginning to feel overwhelming. ‘Tell me how it makes you feel, Raven. I want to hear you say it.’

“It feels amazing, Amon, don’t stop.” I gasped, as the sensations continued to grow, my whole body was nearly on fire. I was a writhing ball of nerve endings, exposed and raw to the steady, methodical stroke of his power and my own fingers.

‘Such a good girl… that’s what I wanted to hear. Are you going to come for me?’

My breath was quickening, and I was approaching the point of no return, I wrapped the hand that wasn’t between my legs around my mouth in preparation for the orgasm that was quickly building.