Page 249 of The Queen’s Shadow

She jumped about a foot, whirling to face me, her expression terrified. The side of her face was bleeding and her cheeks were stained with tears. I shot forward, cradling her head in my hand, examining her wound. My heart was slamming against my ribs.

Anaya was dead. She was fucking dead.

“Kasha…” I breathed, expecting her to be relieved that I was there, that I had found her, but she pushed me away, shaking her head. She choked on a sob and I frowned, confused. She was hurting, and my heart was breaking for her. “Kasha, tell me how to fix it.” I muttered dumbly, taking another step forward. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there,” I said, “I’m going to fucking kill Anaya for this. This never should have happened.”

She was shaking her head, staring at me like I was the last thing on the planet she wanted to see right now. My already breaking heart cracked again.

“She was right.” Kasha whispered, and I froze, my blood turning to ice in my veins. I ground my teeth together.

“What the fuck did that bitch say to you? What happened?” I needed her to talk to me, to tell me what was wrong so that I could fucking make it better.

“She’s awful, but she was right. I don’t belong here, Rycon. I don’t have access to my magick, and without it I’m nothing. Your people will never respect someone with no power. She should have just killed me. It’s not like I’m useful to anyone.”

Woah, woah woah. How did we get here?

She had been so much better this morning. Now she was talking about wishing she were dead? I felt the blood drain from my face, and suddenly, the panic was replaced by rage.

“You don’t mean that.” I growled, and she glared at me, more tears spilling down her cheeks. I watched as she flexed her fists next to her, as if she were trying to call power to her palms.

“I do. What good am I without my magick? I’m basically human. Just a used up human whore. It would be better for everyone if I just ended it.”

I felt like she had slapped me in the face. No one spoke about my fucking mate like that. Including HER.

I was on her again. I slammed her against a nearby tree, gripping her cheeks in my hand.

“So that’s it? You would rather die, than be here with me?” I snarled.

“You don’t want to be with me, Rycon. I’m just something you can’t have. You’re impulsive and I’m a challenge you haven’t conquered yet. Once you get what you want you’re going to throw me away like everyone else does.”

I let go of her abruptly, taking several steps back. I didn’t trust myself to be close to her right now. I felt like she was physically ripping my heart out of my chest.

“You say such horrible shit,” I rasped. “How could you say that to me?”

“Just leave me alone, Rycon.” Her voice was quiet and low. It had a sense of finality to it, like this was it and she was walking away. Walking away from me.

Not fucking happening.

“Don’t run from me, Kasha!” I snarled, as she took her first step away. She paused at my tone, glancing back over her shoulder. “I warned you about running from me. Don’t do it, not unless you want me to chase you.”

She looked conflicted for a moment. I watched her toy with the idea of doing it anyway, when I finally snapped. I grabbed her again, leaning in to growl in her ear.

“If you want to fucking die, Kasha all you have to do is ask. If that’s what you want I’ll kill you my damn self. I would rather kill you, than continue to watch you waste away into nothing.” I pulled back, searching her eyes.

There it was. Fear.

She didn’t want to die, not really. People who wanted to die weren’t afraid of death. I sneered at her.

“You don’t want to die, Kasha. You want to fucking run.” I said, letting her hear the disappointment in my voice. “The Kasha I know doesn’t run from anything. That’s why we’re in this situation in the first place, remember? I told you to stay back when we went to The Origin’s palace. But you told me to go fuck myself.”

She narrowed her eyes at me and thrashed violently in my unforgiving grip. She put both palms against my chest and I could tell she was trying to call a quasar again. She was trying so hard her lips were quivering.

“So you’re saying what happened is my fault!?” She screamed at me, enraged that she couldn’t get me to budge an inch. I pressed her even harder against the tree, my fingers digging into her restructium coated arms.

“It’s not your fault that it happened but it’s your fault if you let them win.” I snarled. I let her go, taking a step back, challenging her with my eyes. She clenched her fists at her sides and turned on her heel, bolting into the jungle.

For fuck sakes.

She was fast, but without her magick, I would always be faster. She had barely gone a few steps before I was on her again. I swept her legs out from under her and slammed her into the ground before straddling her hips. I held her down beneath me, snarling.