Page 250 of The Queen’s Shadow

I was nearly salivating with the rush of the hunt. A small, sick part of me wished I had given her more of a head start. I had caught her too easily.

She bucked her hips against mine and I laughed.

“I told you not to run if you didn’t want to be chased, Kasha. I’m a literal cat, of course I’m going to come after you.”

She glared up at me, fury and helplessness etched into every single line of her perfect face. I leaned forward and ran my tongue up the wound Anaya had carved down the side of her head, groaning as the taste of her blood filled my mouth.

Fuck, she tasted so damn good. I felt myself grow hard as she continued to struggle beneath me. She spat at me and I laughed.

“I want more than your spit on me if you’re offering.” I growled and she screeched in rage.

“What are you going to do, Rycon? Fuck me? That’s all you fucking want from me. That’s all males ever want.”

I shrugged, meeting her gaze head on. “Of course I want to fuck you Kasha, have you seen you?” I asked, and her mouth fell open. I smirked. She hadn’t been expecting me to say that. Good to know I could still shock her. I let my expression soften, letting her see that it was more than that.

So much more.

“But I also want to sleep with you, Kasha. I want to wake up next to you. I want to cook for you and eat with you. I want to fight with you and laugh with you. I want to kill for you, and the gods know that I already have. I want to take care of you.”

She wasn’t struggling anymore, she was staring at me, and lying so still beneath me I wasn’t even sure if she was breathing.

“I want to love you Kasha,” I mumured, swallowing hard against a painful lump that had appeared in my throat, “and I want you to fucking let me. Please.”

We stared at each other, and her eyes welled with tears again. She pressed her palms into my chest and closed her eyes. I knew she was trying again, to access her powers.

I was realizing now, that was what she had been doing when I had first found her out here. She was trying to get them back.

“I can’t,” she whispered, and my heart sank. “I’m too broken, Rycon.”

“I’m broken too, Kasha. I have been for a long time.” That annoying lump in my throat was making it difficult to speak, and my eyes were burning. “I’ve been broken for years and I accepted long ago that I’ll never be whole again. I’ve learned how to live in pieces.”

Her impossibly large eyes were shimmering and she stared at me, waiting for me to continue.

“It wasn’t until I met you that I thought maybe I had found someone whose broken pieces fit with mine. Maybe between the two of us, we have enough pieces to make a whole.” I whispered. Kasha blinked and tears slid down her freckled cheeks.

“The Rhoan of Olkuyrbe can’t be with someone as useless as me. Your people will never accept me, Rycon.”

So that was it. She felt like she wasn’t worthy. She felt like she didn’t deserve a place at my side, because she didn’t have her magick anymore.

“Is that what she told you? Did Anaya tell you that you were useless?” I asked softly.

She didn’t respond, she just closed her eyes and I watched another tear slide down the side of her face. I frowned, suddenly getting an idea.

In my experience, there were two schools of healing, especially when dealing with trauma. There were those who needed space, time and care. They needed to be treated delicately, and given a safe space to re-learn how to live.

Then, there were the people like me, who needed to heal through violence, and self defence. People who needed to physically work through the trauma, and find an outlet for their rage and sometimes even exact revenge.

I had made the mistake of thinking that Kasha belonged to the first group. I had tried to be gentle. I had tried to be patient, and gods knew that neither of those traits came naturally to me.

She had come out here trying to blast fucking quasars… not to run.

She wanted her claws back, and I would be damned if I didn’t give her something to sharpen them on. Even if that something was me.

I wrapped my hand around her throat and stood, dragging her with me. She cried out in alarm and I threw her back into the clearing. She hit the ground hard, before scrambling to her feet.

She was shaken up and terrified. I could smell it on her.

Good. I needed her to be afraid if this was going to work. I allowed my instincts to completely take over. I let her see what I was. I let her see the animal that lived within me. I was dangerous, and if she wanted to survive the night, she was going to have to fight for her fucking life.