Page 81 of The Holy Grail
A weekend with ... Bruce Willis?
To the surprise of Evan and Malcom, Richard Shaw looked like a shorter version of Bruce Willis, complete with shaved head.
He’d insisted on picking them all up at the airport when they arrived late Friday afternoon, and after Jules gave her dad an affectionate hug (which she sort of had to lean down to do), she made introductions.
“Dad, I’d like you to meet Malcom Hodge and Evan Malone,” she said, pointing to each man respectively. “Mal, Evan, this is my dad, Richard.”
After shaking hands, and a, “Nice to meet you, sir,” from both Malcom and Evan, Richard shut them both down.
“Don’t call me ‘sir’. It makes me feel old, and my knees make me feel old enough as it is,” he said, then popped the trunk of his car so everyone’s suitcases could be loaded.
“Call me Richard, since that’s my name and I respond to it pretty well.
Or, you can call me ‘Rich’, and I’ll try and respond to that, although I don’t like it as much.
However, do not call me ‘Dick’ under any circumstances, because I really hate that, not only because it doesn’t even make sense as a nickname for Richard, but also because no one in their right mind wants to be called ‘Dick’. ”
Evan chuckled, as did Jules.
“What’s so funny?” Richard asked.
“That’s Evan’s nickname,” Jules told her dad.
He frowned at Evan. “Your nickname is ‘ Dick’?”
“Yes.”
“Why? That makes even less sense.”
“It’s a long story,” Evan said. “My friend, David, gave it to me—”
“Sounds like a short story,” Richard interrupted, only to quickly add, “And David doesn’t sound like much of a friend.”
“He’s a great friend, actually, and I sort of earned it.”
Jules turned to her dad. “David thought Evan was being a dick, so …”
Evan was a little surprised at Jules’ candor with her father—not to mention her language—but Evan probably shouldn’t have been. Nor should he have been surprised when Richard’s own candor turned Evan’s way.
“Were you being a dick?” Richard wanted to know.
“Sort of,” Evan answered. “But it was all in good fun.”
“Hmm. Was it worth it, in the end?”
“Sometimes.” Evan shrugged. “Sometimes not.”
The ride to the Shaw home was less than thirty minutes. However, it seemed longer for Evan and Malcom, who were relegated to the backseat, and found themselves on the receiving end of piercing glances from Richard in the rearview mirror, which he’d tilted so he could see both men.
Jules and her dad did most of the talking, primarily about her current workload, but they also discussed the stock market a little bit, which Evan and Malcom found surprising. When Richard seemed satisfied his daughter’s financial investments were sound, he turned his attention to the backseat.
“Do you two do any investing?” Richard asked.
“I do,” Malcom answered. “Not as much as Jules, apparently, but I have some decent stocks in my Roth IRA and a 401k through the law firm I work at.”
“I don’t.” Evan met Richard’s steely gaze in the rearview mirror. “I’m not really in a position to be playing the stock market yet. Eventually, maybe.”
“It’s probably difficult on a bartender’s salary,” Richard said, and while his tone was neutral, it still felt like a bit of a poke. “But investing in yourself is important, even if it’s a small one.”
“He’s not just a bartender, Dad,” Jules told him. She then explained how Evan shared ownership of Three Amigos with his siblings, and how she’d worked to help the bar become more profitable, as well as a much better working environment for Evan .
By the time they arrived at the modest ranch home, which was situated on three acres of land, Evan was feeling like an absolute loser. He couldn’t help but wonder if Richard was thinking the same thing, and that Evan wasn’t good enough for his daughter.
Upon meeting Edie, though, his spirits rose, as Jules’ mother was warm and affectionate, and gave hugs like they were going to be declared illegal the next day.
When she pulled back from Evan, she touched his face and said, “I’ve been so looking forward to meeting you.
Even though I’ve only known about you for six days,” she added with a pointed look back at her daughter.
Jules’ response was to simply say, “Mom.”
“I’ve been looking forward to meeting you, as well,” Evan told Edie.
She then gave Malcom equal treatment, who, even though he appreciated the warmth, was still feeling a little shy in the presence of Jules’ parents. “Thank you for, uh, inviting us to visit,” he said diplomatically, even though it hadn’t really been an ‘invitation’.
Jules showed Evan and Malcom to the guest bedroom they’d be sleeping in, which turned out to be her childhood room. They were a little disappointed it looked like an actual guest room.
“I moved out eighteen years ago,” she said, deadpan. “What were you expecting? Posters of rock stars still on the walls?”
“We were hoping,” Malcom returned.
“So, if we’re taking your room, where are you sleeping?” Evan asked.
Jules pointed to the room across the hall. “On the couch in mom’s craft room.”
They didn’t look happy to hear that, and when they started to protest, she told them, “You two are sleeping in here and that’s final.
There’s no other place to put you … and as it is, you’ll be crowded in my double bed, so it’s not like you’ll be enjoying luxurious accommodations, while I suffer on the couch.
You’re going to be as uncomfortable as me. Maybe even more so, to be honest.”
Evan glanced at the bed, which looked really small, then frowned. “You didn’t like, bone anyone on that, did you?”
“Oh, my God, no. Did you, or did you not, meet my dad?” she asked with a laugh. “I didn’t get up to any kind of fuckery in here. Now … outside of this room is another story.”
Everyone then gathered outside on the covered back patio, which was quite spacious, with comfortable outdoor furniture, an impressive grill, and a table and chairs for eating.
A fire pit with Adirondack chairs surrounding it had been built in the middle of the meticulously tended yard, which was flanked on two sides by thick stands of quaking aspen, maple, and oak trees.
On the third side, was a large, red pole barn which was almost as big as the house.
It was a little strange for the two men to picture Jules growing up here, in a semi-rural setting.
They sat and chatted for a while, and as it approached dinner time, Edie and Richard got up to get things ready for the meal.
Once Evan found out steaks were going to be grilled, he offered to help Richard, overriding Malcom’s offer.
“You might be God’s gift in the kitchen, Mal, but I’m the grill God. ”
“Since when?” Jules asked.
“Since forever. Anytime my family gets together—either at my mom’s house, or Evelyn’s, or Everett’s, I’m always on grill duty.”
“Is that by choice?” Richard asked.
“It sort of evolved. After my dad died, the mantle got passed to me. I was the only one without kids to look after, so it made sense for me to be in charge of feeding everyone, and over time, it just became my thing.”
“Were you and your dad close?”
“No.”
Richard watched Evan as he busied himself with seasoning the steaks. “That’s too bad.”
They ate and had a good time, and afterward, made their way inside when it started to rain a little, putting the kibosh on having a fire in the fire pit.
“Who wants to play a game?” Edie asked.
“Me,” Jules answered, immediately going to a book shelf full of vintage board games and grabbing Monopoly.
“I want to be the shoe!” Evan called out.
“You can’t be the shoe.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m the shoe. I’m always the shoe, so pick something else.”
“Fine. Then I’ll be the dog.”
Jules set the game on the table. “We don’t have that piece.”
“Did you lose it?”
“No, it didn’t come with the game. This is an older version of Monopoly, before they added the dog as a game piece. ”
For the first time, Evan noticed the game box was white, with the word ‘MONOPOLY’ in black letters printed on a red stripe running lengthwise on the top part of the box, looking nothing like the one his family had owned.
Jules began taking all the game components out, momentarily distracting Evan with how different everything was.
The houses and hotels were actually wooden, and not plastic, the property deeds, Community Chest, and Chance cards felt like they were made out of heavy construction paper, and the monetary bills were smaller in size, with lighter colors, and rather plain in design.
The only things that looked the same were the playing pieces (with the exception of what appeared to be a purse, which he’d never seen before) and the game board itself, although it was obviously old.
“What if I don’t want to pick something else?” Evan asked.
“Then I guess you don’t play.”
“But I’m a guest. Shouldn’t I get …” he trailed off for a moment, only to smile when he was able to utilize his Word-of-the-Day and finished strong with, “ preferential treatment?”
“You can choose whatever chair you want to sit in. How’s that for preferential treatment?”
“I’m the race car,” Richard said, reaching around Jules to pick it up, and giving Evan a quick glance that said, Not a good hill to die on, son .
Edie took the purse. “This is mine.”
“I’ll take the top hat,” Malcom said, grabbing it.
Evan glanced at the remaining game pieces—an iron, a thimble, a battleship, and a cannon—and after debating between the battleship and cannon (the only two remaining that didn’t totally suck), picked the cannon.
Jules, naturally, was also the banker.