Page 55 of The Holy Grail

Evan bends the knee

Even though Evan had known he’d get the floor, he still felt put on the spot as Jules and Malcom both sat expectantly, obviously waiting for words to come out of Evan’s mouth.

Taking a deep breath to counter the unease creeping over him, he was momentarily distracted by Dawn Corleone climbing down onto his lap and meowing.

Like he’d done before, Evan put his arm around, then under her, and pulled her little body against his side.

As he used his free hand to pet her head and face, he felt himself relaxing somewhat.

Was she a therapy animal or something?

“So,” Evan began slowly, “you unloaded a lot on me there—not in a bad way,” he hastily added.

“Not necessarily in a good way, either, but that’s a lot to unpack.

First, let me say you and Mal are absolutely worth it, and I’m sorry if you’re actually thinking you’re not …

if that’s what I led you to believe.” He paused to rub behind Dawn Corleone’s ears and find the right words for what he was going to say next.

“I know Mal is pretty much your first real relationship, and he’s been in only a few more than that, one of which ended in divorce, but I’ve been in more than I care to say.

Some short, some long, some good, some bad …

and I know you two will be taking a chance on expanding your relationship to include me.

Now, I’ve been here before, with other couples who had experience in triads, and my fear is if we do this, with your—” he broke off to point from Jules to Malcom, “—lack of experience, the odds are already not in our favor. And if we do this and shit goes south, I’ll be fucked.

I’ll lose both of you, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to get to the other side of that. ”

“You don’t think it would hurt for us to lose you?” Jules asked incredulously.

“No, I think it would, but you’d still have each other. And that’s a big fucking difference.”

“He’s right,” Malcom said.

“That’s why I’ve been so … hesitant … for lack of a better word, to get into a triad with you two.

You’ll both need to be really strong, mentally and emotionally, for me to willingly risk my entire self.

It’s not a matter of me not being willing to put in the effort—that actually chapped my hide a little bit, by the way—because I’m willing to put a shit-ton of effort into the three of us, but not if it seems like a losing bargain from the beginning.

” He took a deep breath. “And this kind of seems like a loser for me.”

“I disagree,” Jules said, just as Malcom said, “Fair point.”

“Fair point?” Jules asked, turning to him with a frown.

“Yes, I can see his point. He has the most to lose. He’s loved you longer than I have, and he’s loved me longer than you have, so …”

“Okay, I understand that,” Jules said to Evan. “But does not trying make you happier?”

“Of course not, but losing you both would definitely make me unhappier . Like way fucking unhappier.”

“What if you didn’t lose us? What if we were strong enough to make it?”

“Then I’d be the happiest asshole ever.” Evan sighed. “The problem is most of the weight will rest on Mal, who literally just took a baby step into the sunlight a few days ago. In terms of a coming out party, it’s not .”

Jules looked curious. “Do people really have coming out parties?”

“I just meant, with the exception of you and me, no one else has been made aware of Mal being bisexual. And I technically already knew it, so the only person who knows he’s ‘come out’ is you.” Evan looked at Mal. “Unless you’ve spoken to your parents or anyone else about it in the past few days?”

“No, I haven’t.”

“Did you make an announcement?” Jules asked Evan.

“No, but I never hid it, either, so most of my family knew from the beginning. I just treated my attraction to men the same way I treated my attraction to women—if I was going out with a girl in high school, I’d say I was going to the movies with whatever her name was, and if I was going out with a guy, I’d say I was going to the movies with whatever his name was.

It was pretty easy for everyone to figure out. ”

“Did everyone accept it?” Malcom asked. “I mean, everyone except your dad? Jules told me he thought you were a deviant.”

“Jesus Christ.” Evan narrowed his eyes at Jules. “Have you told him everything I’ve ever said to you?”

Not in the least bit embarrassed or shamed, she replied, “Well, probably not everything , but I have told him a lot. Sorry.”

Since that didn’t even come close to sounding like something which might have been in the vicinity of an actual apology, he simply shook his head in annoyance and focused on Malcom again.

“Everyone accepted it without judgment, as far as I know, except for my dad, and he kept his intolerance between himself and me. I think he did that because he didn’t want anyone in the family to know how he felt, in case they would think less of him, but he let me know in private. ”

“How did you deal with that?” Malcom asked.

“There was a time when I was younger and did try to get his approval, but I quickly learned it was never going to happen, at which point I learned to quit listening to him, because fuck his opinion.”

“You never told your mom or anyone in your family what he was like?”

“I thought about it once or twice, but in the end, I never said anything. I knew it would tear apart the family, and I wasn’t willing to do that. Plus, sometimes I was able to use it to my advantage—”

“In what way?”

“Well, let’s just say it’s how I became the proud owner of a classic, 1965 Mustang Fastback on my 18th birthday,” Evan replied, with a half-pleased, half-nostalgic smile. “Damn, that thing was pretty. Red, with black leather interior … I can’t tell you how many times that car got me laid.”

“I doubt it was just the car,” Malcom and Jules said, almost in unison.

Evan smiled for a moment, before turning serious again.

“Anyway, as far as coming out goes, I’m not suggesting you make a public announcement or whatever, but you will have to do something, Mal.

At the very least, you’ll have to talk to your parents and other family members, because at some point they’ll have to meet me.

” He cocked his head. “Have your parents met Jules, yet?”

“Yes,” Malcom answered .

Evan nodded, not really surprised. “So, if we do this, they’ll have to know about me.

And I’m not trying to be a demanding asshole about this, but I won’t be hidden.

My family will know about both you and Jules, so I expect the same respect and regard from both of you.

” He looked directly at Jules. “Does your family know about Mal?”

She nodded. “They even gave me advice on groveling.”

“They what?”

Briefly, she explained how she and Malcom had met eighteen months ago, and how she’d ghosted him for fifteen of them, before finally getting in touch with him. “He was kind of aggravated with me after all that time, so I had to grovel.”

Evan, who had found the entire story amusing, told Malcom, “My meeting with her wasn’t quite as Hallmark Channel as yours was.”

“Hallmark Channel?”

“‘Call my mom for a character reference’?” Evan teased. “That’s one hundred percent Hallmark Channel—the only thing missing was you being the owner of a Christmas tree farm, or a pumpkin patch in a small town.”

Malcom couldn’t help but chuckle, even as he said, “Fuck you. Let’s hear how your meeting went.”

With great detail, Evan described the night he met Jules, and how she’d chewed his ass over thinking he was fucking around with Paige, called him out for looking at Jules’ tits, and how he’d been incredibly turned on by the tongue lashing. “See? You’re the Hallmark Channel.”

Then, turning his attention back to Jules, Evan asked, “Do you think you’ll have any problem telling your parents about me?”

“Not really. They’re very … open-minded.”

“Okay, well, there’s open-minded, and then there’s open-minded .”

She gave Malcom a quick glance before telling Evan, “Mal said the exact same thing, and I told him they’re open-minded . And if you doubt me, ask yourself who raised me to be the way that I am? Don’t you think I had help?”

Evan thought about that for a moment, then decided to take her at her word because she wasn’t one to blow smoke up anyone’s ass.

“All right.” He turned back to Malcom. “Now, I’m going to go out on a limb and say you might have a problem telling your parents?

I assume there’s a reason—or reasons—why no one you know is aware of your bisexuality, because you’ve obviously taken great pains to hide it, even from yourself. ”

“I have,” Malcom admitted. “And I’m sure it won’t surprise you to know it’s because of my father, who was neither a good father, nor a good man, really.

Despite that, I never stopped trying to please him when I was younger, which made camouflaging my bisexuality a necessity.

So, as far as telling my parents, I won’t have a problem telling my mother, but telling my father …

” he trailed off, his features pinched. “I’m not going to lie.

It’ll probably be one of the hardest things I’ll ever do, and I’m already dreading it. ”

Evan sighed. “Well, it looks like most of the weight will be resting on your shoulders, because you obviously have the most opposition, or fear to deal with.”

“We’ll be there with you,” Jules promised Malcom. “You won’t go through that alone.”

“Actually, I think Mal’s more worried about the fallout,” Evan said.

“I am, a little,” Malcom admitted.

“How bad do you think it will be?” Jules wanted to know.