Page 58 of The Holy Grail
Ménage à Trois group chat
After setting up a group chat with Malcom and Jules, Evan then named it ‘Ménage à Trois’, because why not?
EVAN: GM … MALCOM: Good morning. EVAN: How is everyone?
MALCOM: I’m pretty good. MALCOM: Jules is still sleeping.
MALCOM: She stayed the night, and I know I said we shouldn’t do that, but it was mostly accidental.
EVAN: Accidental? MALCOM: We ended up talking for a while, and killing off the bottle of wine, and then it was kind of late, so …
she slept in my bedroom and I took the couch.
Evan was momentarily taken aback they’d slept separately for him, and the realization made him feel ridiculously grateful for it.
EVAN: Thank you. That means a lot. MALCOM: You’ re welcome.
Picturing Jules asleep, Evan fired off another text.
EVAN: Can you send me a picture of her sleeping? MALCOM: Really? EVAN: Yes. MALCOM: Even if her mouth is open? EVAN: Especially if her mouth is open.
About thirty seconds later, a picture was sent, showing Jules asleep on her side with her mouth partly open, her hair fanning out on the pillow.
MALCOM: I moved her hair out of the way so you could see better. EVAN: Thanks. I appreciate the extra effort. EVAN: I’m going to make this my lock screen. MALCOM: Okay … that’s sort of weird. EVAN: Now send me a picture of you. MALCOM: I’m terrible at selfies. EVAN: I don’t care.
This time it took almost a minute for a picture to appear, and when it did, Evan chuckled. It was of Malcom dressed in a navy suit, with an awkward, This is stupid expression on his face.
EVAN: You sleep in a suit? MALCOM: Very funny. I’m dressed for work. EVAN: You look good. EVAN: Now, how about a picture with your glasses on? MALCOM: Seriously? EVAN: Seriously. Come on.
A few seconds later a new picture of Malcom appeared wearing almost the same expression, but this time with his glasses on .
EVAN: Thanks. That will be my home screen. MALCOM: Quid pro quo.
Evan propped himself up on his pillows a little bit for a better angle, then snapped a picture. After looking at the finished product, he decided it was fine and sent it. Truth be told, he was usually pretty photogenic.
EVAN: Here you go. MALCOM: Why does bedhead look so good on you?
EVAN: I’m just lucky, I guess. MALCOM: I’m going to use this for my home screen, and the one of Jules with her mouth open as my lock screen.
EVAN: When I did that, you said it was weird.
MALCOM: It was. MALCOM: It still is, but what the hell.
MALCOM: So, how are you this morning? EVAN: I’m good.
EVAN: I’m usually not a great sleeper, but last night I crashed hard.
It was almost an hour later before Jules entered the chat.
JULES: I can’t believe you took a picture of me sleeping with my mouth open. JULES: That’s not okay. JULES: And using it for your lock screens? What’s wrong with you two?
Evan quickly posed like Jules, pretending to sleep with his mouth open, and snapped a quick picture. He then sent it to the chat.
EVAN: Here you go. Feel better?
A second later, a picture of Malcom pretending to be asleep with his head on his desk, his mouth open and his glasses slightly askew, appeared .
MALCOM: Here you go. Feel better? JULES: These will do until I can take real pictures of my own.
JULES: And I will. You can count on it. EVAN: Of course.
JULES: By the way, thanks for not being upset that I stayed here last night.
EVAN: You’re welcome, but it’s not like I would have grounded you two, or anything.
I’m not the dad, here. EVAN: In fact, I do believe I’m the youngest. JULES: Don’t fucking remind me.
EVAN: I happen to like older women, so you should just embrace it.
MALCOM: And I happen to like younger women, so you win in both categories. JULES: Awesome …
Evan decided to shift the conversation a little bit.
EVAN: So, what were you two talking about so late last night?
When there was no reply after several minutes, he sent a prompt.
EVAN: Hello? Is it a secret or something?
JULES: Sorry, I thought Mal was going to answer.
MALCOM: I thought Jules was going to answer.
EVAN: Well, someone needs to answer. JULES: We talked about how to go forward as a ‘throuple’.
MALCOM: We also did some internet searches and kind of ended up in a rabbit hole.
That’s how we found the word ‘throuple’.
Evan almost chuckled out loud, picturing the two of them googling this shit, while killing a bottle of wine.
JULES: Are you familiar with that word? EVAN: Yes.
JULES: Well, even though I gave Paige a bunch of hell for ‘dating’ David before they had sex, it did work for them.
You know, starting slow, from the beginning.
JULES: I think David called it taking ‘sexual baby steps’.
EVAN: I wish I didn’t know that. JULES: Sorry.
MALCOM: So, we thought we could do that.
Start slow, like going out on dates, so we can all get used to—and get comfortable with—each part of the journey.
MALCOM: Maybe journey isn’t the right word, because it sounds kind of stupid, but you get my point.
Evan had a feeling this suggested plan had more to do with Malcom’s ‘issues’ than any Evan or Jules might have, and since there didn’t seem to be a reason not to give the plan a fair shake, he agreed.
EVAN: That sounds fine. JULES: Really? MALCOM: Really?
EVAN: Sure. Let’s do it. EVAN: Sexual baby steps, here we come!
EVAN: And since Mal has the most experience with dating, I vote for him taking the lead on this.
MALCOM: Why do you think I have the most experience?
EVAN: Because you were already dating when Jules and I were still in grade school.
EVAN: Actually, it would have been middle school for her .
.. JULES: For. Fuck’s. Sake. MALCOM: Well, as honored as I am to get your vote, I decline taking the lead, because that would disrupt our power grid.
JULES: Our what? MALCOM: You know, our equality.
It wouldn’t be right for me to have that much power over the two of you.
Evan grinned, pretty sure Malcom was totally fucking with him.
EVAN: Fine. EVAN: So, how about this, instead?
Let’s share our work schedules, and we each have to come up with one date per week …
it has to be in public, and kind of on the cheap, because I’m on a budget.
I recently got a raise, but still … EVAN: That doesn’t mean we only get together three times a week, it just means three times a week we’ll be getting together in a public setting.
JULES: I’m good with that. MALCOM: Me, too.