Page 56 of The Holy Grail

“Well, pretty bad. I mean, you and I talked about optics, right?” At Jules’ nod, he continued.

“So, the optics of this will be ugly for him. I don’t know if he’ll be able to process, let alone understand, his son being attracted to both women and men, but knowing I’m in a three-way relationship .

..” He pressed his lips together. “He’s very old school, and it will be extremely hard for him, worrying about people he knows finding out about it.

I think, like your dad—” he exchanged a look with Evan, “—mine will also see me as a deviant, and will probably sever what little relationship we have.”

“Would you be able to handle that?” Evan asked softly.

“Would you be willing to risk that for me? I know Jules said you both believe I’m worth the effort to make a triad work, but reality can be one hell of a bitch, and what you may think you can handle, doesn’t always get handled very well, especially when loss of family members is involved.

So, if you’re not completely sure about this, tell me now. ”

As silence fell over them, Evan tried to remain outwardly neutral as he continued to pet Dawn Corleone, as if he’d be fine, regardless of the answer. Inwardly, though, he braced himself for the answer he thought was coming, only to be shocked when it didn’t.

“I’m completely sure about this,” Malcom said.

Evan felt a rolling wave of tingles throughout his body and for a few seconds, he almost couldn’t breathe. The three of them looked at one another, eyes flicking back and forth, until it occurred to him maybe Malcom and Jules were waiting for Evan to say something profound.

“Okay,” said Evan, somewhat blandly .

“Okay?” Malcom and Jules asked together.

So, they had been expecting something profound, but unfortunately Evan didn’t really have anything for them. “Yes. Okay,” he repeated, and when they continued to stare at him, he prayed he wasn’t marching toward his own Waterloo as he added, “Let’s do this.”

“Really?”

“Really?”

“Yes, really. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?”

“Right.”

“Right.”

After a long pause, Jules then asked, “So, now what?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, what’s next? You know, the next step in all of this?”

“Well, first we should probably get naked and have sex. That’s usually how things get started.”

Her eyes narrowed a little bit. “Say what?”

Malcom coughed. “I think he’s fucking with you.”

“Yes,” Evan agreed. “I’m fucking with you. It’s probably a little too soon to get naked and have sex.” Then, adopting an exaggerated, hopeful look, he said, “Unless that’s something you’d really like to do … because if that’s the case, count me in.”

“I’m beginning to understand why your nickname is Dick,” Jules told him, although it was said with more amusement than with malice.

“Your nickname is ‘Dick’?” Malcom looked confused. “Why?”

“David gave it to Evan when they first met and he was being a dick,” Jules explained. “And I used to feel sorry for him, but not anymore.”

“Sorry, I couldn’t resist,” Evan said, not in the least bit offended. “It seems like you think there’s a formula to ‘all this’, and there really isn’t.”

“Okay, but you’re the one with all the experience, here, so even if there isn’t a formula, you at least know way more than we do about going forward.”

“That’s true, but I’ve always been the last one in—just like now—so I’ve never been a leader, for lack of a better word. I’ve always been the ‘go with the flow’ guy. Not to mention, my success rate with triads is obviously low, so … I’m only marginally more knowledgeable.”

“Well, neither Mal nor I know how this works at all , so you’re going to be the leader this time.” Jules said, brushing aside his reasoning .

Evan shook his head. “No.”

“No, what?”

“No, to being the leader. I don’t want to have more power than either of you two, and you shouldn’t want me to have more power, to be honest.”

Malcom frowned a little, as the way Evan said the last part sounded sort of ominous. “Why not?”

“Because we should all have the same amount—you know, be equal.”

“Oh.” Malcom now looked slightly embarrassed. “I thought you were going to say because you’d be ordering us around in the bedroom like Christian Grey, or something.”

“You’ve read Fifty Shades of Grey ?” Jules asked.

“Hasn’t everybody?”

With a quick shake of her head, she told Malcom, “I haven’t.”

“Me, either,” said Evan.

“Well, I have,” Malcom admitted with a hint of defensiveness. “And you can both just shut-up.”

Evan shared a quick grin with Jules before saying, “Um, so full disclosure … I have had a long time to think about what I’d like to do to both of you, so pulling a Christian Grey could possibly happen, which is another reason why I won’t be the leader.

The power might go to my head, and the next thing you know, you’d find yourself restrained on your bed with a couple of your expensive silk ties. ”

“I would?” Malcom’s face flushed a little. “Oh.”

Evan found himself slightly turned on at the hint of shyness and knew he was going to enjoy breaking Malcom in. “Anyway, like I said, there’s no formula to what we’re doing, so the three of us will have to figure out what works as we go forward … as equal partners. Sound good?”

Malcom and Jules both nodded.

“That being said,” Evan continued slowly, setting Dawn Corleone onto the floor so he could lean forward and rest his arms on the table, “in the spirit of equality, I need to ask something of you both.”

Jules leaned forward, resting her forearms on the table as well. “What is it?”

“That you don’t have sex again until it’s with me.

” Evan took a deep breath. “I don’t know when that will be, but until it’s the three of us, it would kind of kill me to know you two are having sex without me.

Having that intimacy without me. I already have some catching up to do, in order to establish myself here, and it will be harder— mentally—if I have to do that while you two are still technically in the relationship without me.

” He looked from one to the other. “Does that make sense? I just don’t want to be home alone or at work, wondering if you two are you know, fucking, while I’m making my twentieth Cosmo of the night. ”

Silence settled over the table for several moments before Jules broke it.

“I think that’s a legitimate thing to ask, and I’m fine with it, because it does make sense,” she said, absently tapping her fingers on the table.

“But what about my just sleeping here? I’ve been spending the night like three times a week—and sex isn’t always involved, just so you know. ”

Truth be told, Evan didn’t love the thought of them snuggling together without him, either, even if it was just for sleep, but before he could give voice to that (hopefully in a way that didn’t make him sound like a complete and selfish twat), Malcom was taking one of Jules’ hands in his and raising it for a kiss.

“As much as it pains me to say so,” he told her gently, “I think that should probably stop, too. I don’t want Evan sleeping alone while we sleep together.”

Jules gave that some thought before conceding. “All right.”

“I can tell you’re not thrilled,” Evan said.

“It’s just that I’m in a relationship for the first time in … ever … and I’ve gotten used to the benefits.” She gave him a half-smile. “But, going without said benefits for a little while will be motivation to get you ‘established’ as soon as possible, I guess.”

Evan reached over and picked up her free hand and gave it a kiss. “Well, I’m motivated, too.”

“Can I also ask for something?” Jules wanted to know.

“Sure.”

“Can we keep this to ourselves for a little while? Just until we get really comfortable with it?”

“You don’t want to tell anyone? Not even Cat Lady?”

“Who’s Cat Lady?” Malcom asked.

“Paige,” Jules answered.

Malcom frowned at Evan. “You call Paige ‘Cat Lady’?”

Evan took a moment to explain the nickname, before looking back to Jules for her answer.

“No, I don’t want to tell Paige, which means you can’t tell David,” Jules said .

Evan really didn’t have to think about it, because keeping it on the down low would simplify life for a while as well. “Okay. We’ll keep it to ourselves until we’re more comfortable. Although …”

“What?”

“I’m just wondering if you can keep it to yourself, especially when it comes to your best friend.”

“I can keep it to myself.”

“Like you kept what I told you to yourself?”

She made a face at him. “If you’re referring to me telling Mal what you said—”

“Obviously, I am.”

“—that was different. You and I didn’t have an agreement that I wouldn’t tell anyone.”

Evan’s eyebrows rose at her audacity. “What? That’s your justification for your word vomit?”

“Yes. If you’d told me not to tell him, I wouldn’t have.”

He gave her a look that said, You’re so full of shit, you should be able to taste it. “Okay, I’ll pretend to believe you, and agree to keep this between the three of us for as long as we can, which will be until you break and tell Paige.”

Jules returned his look with one that said, You picked a fight with the wrong girl. “I’ll bet you fifty dollars I won’t tell Paige until it’s time ... say, when we tell her and David together.”

“You’re on,” Evan said, before turning to Malcom, who, not surprisingly, seemed in favor of the decision to keep the relationship under wraps as well. “What about you? Is there something you want to ask for?”

Malcom shook his head. “I can’t think of anything—oh, wait, I do have something.”

“What is it?”

“When you’re at work, could you not flirt so hard with all the attractive people?”

“Really? You know it doesn’t go anywhere.”

Jules gave Evan the stink eye.

“Okay, it usually doesn’t go anywhere,” Evan amended. “And it obviously wouldn’t go anywhere from here on out, but I’ll scale it back to just friendly, bartender-patron conversation.”

“Thank you.” Malcom smiled and reached over to take Evan’s free hand. “I just don’t want to think about you at work flirting with anyone when I’m here watching TV with my cat. ”

“Nor do I, when I’m home watching TV alone .” Jules stressed. “At least you have a cat for company.”

Another silence settled over them, and Evan used it to focus on their joined hands, connecting in a circle. He was feeling both nervous and hopeful this path they were now taking wouldn’t lead to a fucking mess.

“Look at us,” Jules said softly.

Her eyes were bright with emotion, as were Malcom’s, and Evan let their energy wash over him, igniting his skin. “Yes. Look at us.”

“Do you feel it?” Malcom asked, his voice low.

Evan swallowed hard. “I do.”