Page 80 of The Holy Grail

Everyone’s happiness looks different

“Thanks for coming over,” Malcom told his mom, as he ushered her into the foyer.

“Of course.”

After hanging up her coat and getting comfortable in the living room, Beverly asked, “So what did you need to talk to me about?”

He paused, trying to find the words to start, when she spoke again.

“Is it about an engagement?” she wanted to know, her expression carefully neutral.

Shit. This might be harder than he’d anticipated, if his mom was hoping for an engagement announcement—and he could tell she was even if she looked like she was asking what the weather forecast for tomorrow was.

“No, it’s not about an engagement. It is relationship related, though, but before I can get into that, there are a few things you need to know first,” he told her, then began filling her in on many things she’d had no knowledge of, beginning with a very watered-down version of his and Gwen’s experimentation with other people, specifically Evan.

Malcom told Beverly about the attraction he’d felt for Evan, at which point, she asked if that had been Malcom’s first attraction for another man.

“No. There was a boy in high school I was attracted to, but I kept those feelings buried like Jimmy Hoffa.”

She tilted her head. “Because of your father … and the pink shirt?”

“Yes. ”

Beverly’s expression became pensive. “You know, I had a talk with him after you left for school that day, and told him he shouldn’t have said what he said to you, and if it turned out you were gay, then he would have to keep his opinions to himself and be a supportive, loving parent.

I said you were our son, no matter what your sexual orientation was, and your father seemed to come to understand how he’d behaved was wrong, what he’d said was wrong, and told me it wouldn’t happen again.

” She paused, then said, “Not long after that, you started dating and the question of whether or not you might be attracted to boys seemed to be answered … but you were obviously just doing a really good job of hiding it, weren’t you? ”

“Yes, I was. I didn’t realize it at the time, because everything was really confusing for me, but even though you’d told me my being gay wouldn’t matter to you, I still steered away from it because I knew Dad’s intolerance was more powerful than your tolerance.

So, I learned to hide it, and essentially deny half of myself. ”

Beverly sniffed a little, her eyes taking on a watery sheen, and when she spoke, it was with regret. “I’m sorry, honey. I wish I’d known what you were going through.”

“To be honest, I don’t think I knew what I was going through.”

He then continued the story, telling her about Evan’s connection to Jules, which was discovered at the Farmer’s Market, and how everything exploded after that. Malcom told her about the unresolved feelings for Evan, how the triad evolved, and the plan for them all to live in Malcom’s house.

“So, the three of you are … together?” she asked.

“Yes.”

Silence settled between them for a moment, and then she said, “All right.”

“All right?” He looked at her closely, concerned he’d unloaded too much on her and she was now in shock. “You seem to be taking this rather well. Almost too well, actually.”

“Well, I’m not going to lie and say this isn’t a lot to process, because it is, and I’ll need some time, but …” she trailed off. “Everyone’s happiness looks different, and this is how yours looks.”

“I never imagined it looking like this, but being with both of them makes me whole. That’s the best way to explain it.”

“You obviously love both of them.”

“I do.”

“Without reservation?”

“Yes. ”

“And they both love you, without reservation?”

“Yes.”

She took a deep breath, her eyes glistening again. “Then that makes me happy.”

“Thanks, Mom.” He released a sigh of relief. “I really needed to hear that.”

“Have Jules’ and Evan’s parents been told about this?”

“Yes.” He then explained about the upcoming trip to meet Richard and Edie, and getting together with Evan’s mom after that. Then they would all have dinner with Beverly.

She pursed her mouth. “What about your father?”

“I’ll tell him in a little while, when I’m ready.”

“Are you nervous about telling him?”

“Honestly? Yes.”

She nodded. “Hopefully he’ll take it well.”

Malcom kept his expression neutral. “Hopefully,” he said, although he didn’t think the chances of that were very high.