Page 50

Aoi

After a serious conniption during the night as I couldn’t fall asleep, I came to the long-awaited conclusion that we’ll be fine.

I don’t mean that our lives will be perfect and that I’ll be happy by myself because I wouldn’t believe it if I said it out loud. I simply want to believe that we’ll manage to overcome this rough patch in our lives.

This is a huge opportunity for Visha and let’s be honest, for me too.

He’s leaving the nest, as he was once meant to anyway. Life isn’t all black or white and right now we’re in the grey area. We’re in the 'I don’t know what’s going to happen' area but we’ll still figure it out because we have to. That’s the thing in the end. We have no other choice but to get over this and move past it.

I’m not losing him.

And I’m fine.

The voice in the back of my head thinks otherwise. Fine doesn’t mean happy.

It doesn’t matter if I’m happy as long as he is.

I enter the bedroom where I pull out a black suitcase I stored for eventual trips I never made. “This should do.”

I doubt that he’ll need all of his clothes at once, especially after his brother bragged about being so wealthy and capable. The least he needs to pack is his daily toiletries and clothes for the upcoming week.

For the next hours, Visha and I pack his suitcase and prepare him for the flight. I drive him to the airport in the afternoon where his entire group of friends is waiting for him.

“Visha!”

They run up to us and jump into his arms, almost toppling over from the sheer force of it. “You came!”

“We told you we would, so we did,” says the tanned kid in a military green jacket.

Olivia slaps the boy’s back and laughs. “Xander literally cried in the car.”

“No, I didn’t!”

“Yes, you did!” Sarah argues behind them.

I stand back as they make a round of goodbyes and watch Bellami approach us from afar. He’s wearing a black suit, fitting him like a glove and smirks when he sees me.

Asshole .

“Are these your friends?” he asks Visha.

Teary-eyed, he nods and finishes hugging his comrades. For someone reluctant to be touched by other people than me, it surprises me how easily he allows his friends to hug him.

Considering the situation, it makes sense though.

“It’s time for us to go,” he warns, hands in his pockets, seeming disinterested.

Visha turns to me, tears threatening to spill. “Aoi…”

“I know. It’s okay, come here.” I spread my arms and let him sink into them.

His arms curl around my neck and hold me so tight as though he fears I’ll slip away, unaware that the one slipping away is him.

I hold back my tears. I can’t break now. I must keep it in until he’s out of sight. I have to let go of him, but I just can’t.

He sniffles against my neck, sobbing. “I’m gonna miss you so much.”

“You can’t imagine how much I love you, Visha.” I feel my heart hammer in my chest, dragging me closer to my grave. “You’ll be happy in France. They have a great health care system compared to us.”

The comment makes him laugh and tugs at my heartstrings. I gently detach myself, appreciating his lingering touch. “We’ll see each other again and we’ll call each other often. It isn’t a definite goodbye.”

The world shatters in his golden irises. His expression conveys so much pain and regret. For such a young boy, the universe is collapsing in front of him unable to stop it.

If only I had more power. If only I could make him stay.

Caressing his cheek, I brush a rolling tear. “It’s okay. Please don’t cry,” my voice breaks like shattering soil and decaying flowers. “This isn’t goodbye, alright?”

He nods, wailing as he shoves his face into my chest, refusing to let go. “I love you too. Now and forever.”

“Now and forever,” I repeat after him.

Now and forever.

Bellami’s patience seems to have reached its limit. He softens his tone at the sight of his beloved brother’s heart shattering. “It’s time to go.”

Visha takes a step back from me and gazes yearningly at me for what seems like an eternity then falls into step beside Bellami and waves at us.

I smile, waving back as he departs into his new life, suitcase in hand.

My chest shrinks, aching as it tears my heart apart. Forever is slipping away. He loved to make me promise to love him forever and of course I did. But now we know that even though our bond will never break, it’ll still stretch across the globe.

I wait for Visha’s friends to head out, holding on long enough to leave in one piece. It doesn’t take them much time before setting off but one of them lingers.

Olivia glances at me, pushing her sandy blonde hair behind her shoulder and speaks up, “He might be in a different country and a different continent physically, but he’ll always be there in our hearts.”

I peek at her short figure. She’s too young to be comforting me. It should be the other way around.

I understand her intentions and it’s sweet, but I feel nothing in this instant. Everything’s too much. Too much light, too many sounds, too many untitled feelings. It’s all too much.

I can’t breathe .

The moment she’s out of sight I break. My knees hit the ground and for the first time since I met Visha, I cry so hard my throat goes hoarse. Nothing can console me as I unravel on the cold polished floor, sobbing pathetically.

I’m cursed to lose everyone I ever loved.

Please, come back.