Page 46

Aoi

What the hell was I thinking getting wasted when Visha was waiting at home for me?

I don’t remember exactly what happened when I got back this morning, but it can’t be good.

I see fragments of scattered memories bolt through my head, making me wince. All I can seem to remember is that I got wasted, walked an hour to Denny Blaine Park and called Amira. I vaguely remember what she told me and her ordering me to call Jason so he’d give me a ride home.

I did not obey that very mature command. Nope. I got even more wasted after walking an hour back to the bar and then called Jason and…and what the fuck did I tell him?

I can’t remember.

Whatever, because after I got home, I said something to Visha and then the door slammed behind him.

It was probably nothing and most likely one of my dumb jokes about him being a kid. But what if that’s not it?

With the grace of an elephant on roller blades, I lift my head off the table where I apparently spent the night. I should be freezing but I’m not and it’s most obviously due to the blanket on my shoulders.

The soft buzz of my phone sends another jolt of pain through my skull.

“Who’s calling me now?” I press the green button and put the call on speaker.

“Did you just wake up?” the dark and familiar voice echoes on the other end.

“Jason,” I groan. “What’s up?”

I hear some rustling on his end of the call as he replies, “You were a mess last night. Just wanted to check on you.”

“What do you mean? How do you-” I slam my head on the table. “What did I do again?”

He laughs. “You called me at around three a.m. completely wasted and rambled about some nonsense.”

“What exactly did I say?” I ask, begging the universe for some of my dignity back.

“You said some cute things,” he teases, with a lustrous tone. “Seemed like you had a lot on your chest.”

I hit my forehead against the oak and groan again. I shouldn’t have gotten drunk. I knew I called him, but I don’t remember whatever crap I managed to utter.

“I liked hearing all about your heavy feelings, you know?” he says, definitely smiling behind the phone. “You should confide in me more often.”

What the fuck did I tell him? Ugh, I’m never drinking again. “Just forget whatever I said. I was drunk and out of my mind, clearly.”

He chuckles, his voice dropping to a sensual murmur. “I’d like to hear you say it all again but sober and to my face.”

“I’d have to know what I said to repeat it.”

His voice drops to a quieter tone as I hear people talking behind him. Is he at the office? “You mentioned being lonely and that the only way for you to forget that loneliness is either by spending time with the brat or being in my arms.”

I blush, sliding my hand over my face. “You’re lying.”

“You did say that. I don’t know why you like that orphan so much. I’m better in every way.”

“Don’t call him that. We literally got into an argument because you keep saying stuff like that. So, keep your immature rudeness to yourself, Jason.”

He grunts. “Fine. Though you did say that you wanted to fuck me.”

“Stop teasing me,” I mumble. “And just forget I called, please.”

“No can do.”

“Jerk,” I mutter and he laughs.

I slide the blanket off me and fold it on the table. “What else did I say?”

“Mhm, you weren’t very coherent to be honest. You said something about Amira giving you a free therapy session. Is she that Bengali friend of yours?”

“Yeah, it’s her. I can’t believe I rambled about that too. Did I say something else?” I ask, apprehensively. “I don’t know. Maybe about Visha?”

He remains silent for a few seconds and then I hear the massive eye roll when he replies, “You can’t stop talking about him, can you?”

“Answer the question.”

“No, you didn’t mention him. For once.”

This time it’s my turn to roll my eyes. “Okay. Good. Thanks.”

The sound of his ravenous voice sends me over the edge, and I want to get out of here and jump into his arms. “I have to go now. I’m probably late for work by now.”

Fun fact, I actually I have no clue what time it is. If I’m genuinely late will Mr. Williams fire me? He dotes on me like a son. I doubt he’ll get mad over me being late for once.

Jason flicks his tongue and purrs, “Come by tonight.”

I hesitate before answering. Though I want to see him, I’d rather spend the little time I have left with Visha. I can’t deny that my feelings are still hurt after what he said last night but he didn’t know better. Amira is right. He didn’t mean it.

“I can’t,” I mumble. “There’s some things I have to do.”

“Fine.”

At that, he ends the call.

***

I stare at my computer screen, unblinkingly, wondering whether I should just quit my job. I can always marry a rich old man and swim in lavish pools of money. I don’t want to depend on someone though.

A gentle and bright voice pulls me out of my reverie. “You seem tired Aoi. Is everything okay with you?” she asks, concern palpable in her gaze.

“I have some issues regarding my kid,” I admit, chortling awkwardly.

Lina smiles at me and props herself against my desk. “I have two children of my own, I understand the troubles that come with them.” She lowers her voice. “They make me want to gouge my eyes out sometimes.”

I can’t help but laugh at the grimace she makes. “He’s not really a kid anymore.”

“Oh? How old is he if I may ask.”

I scratch an invisible itch at the back of my nape. “Fifteen.”

She stares at me, bewildered. Then for an instant she looks away as though she’s doing the math. “Oh my…you were quite young then when you-” She gasps and slaps her palm over her lips.

I shake my hands and flush at the insinuation. “God, no. He’s not mine. I mean we’re not related. I just took him in three years ago and he’s been like my kid ever since.”

“Oh, that makes more sense,” she says, giggling. “Not that I’m judging in any way!”

I get what she must be thinking. Based on my age and Visha’s I would have been eleven when I conceived him, which is insane.

“The hell are you two talking about instead of working?” Alex’s gravy voice interrupts, startling Lina. “Why’re you even talking to him , Lina?”

Her brows furrow. “Excuse me? Are we bothering you? By conversing quietly? Out of your reach? In the office opposite yours?”

I purse my lips, holding back my laugh so as not to worsen Alex’s shitty attitude. Lina gets off my desk and offers me an apologetic smile.

“If you ever need advice with your teen, I’m here.” She winks.

“Thanks Lina.”

She squeezes my arm and goes back to her desk, grabbing Alex by the arm and dragging him out with her.

“What on Earth are you doing?” he argues, flushing with anger and embarrassment at being dragged by a woman. “Stop that! I’m not a kid. Ouch.”

Alex is what I call an Incel, which stands for involuntary celibate, and he just has to make it everyone’s problem. I’m glad Lina doesn’t let that idiot walk all over her.

Uncountable hours pass until it’s finally time for me to clock out. I bid everyone a good night and make my way out.

“Aoi! Wait a minute!” Dixon calls after me. “Mr. Williams wants to see you in his office.”

I sigh, exhausted but don’t complain. “Now?”

He nods. “Yeah, he said it wouldn’t take long.” Then he shrugs and points a thumb at the elevator. “I can go tell him that you already clocked out if you want?”

“It’s fine. I’ll go.”

“Certain?”

“Yeah, I’ll have to go either way, be it tonight or tomorrow.”

Offering me a friendly tap on the back, he takes his leave, and I head up to the last floor.

I don’t know why the boss wants to see me now out of all times. Maybe I made a mistake and he’s going to bite my head off for it? Or maybe Alex complained about Linda and I chatting during work hours? Either way, I’m about to find out.

“You called for me?” I ask, shutting the door behind me.

The room is dimly lit as he sits at his desk and peers up at me. “Aoi, take a seat.”

“I’m fine here, sir.”

He stands up and slowly walks up to me, the sole of his shoes clacking against the floor. My heart beats at the same rhythm as his march and stops when his rough palm cups my cheek.

What the-

“You weren't at the office yesterday,” he says gravely, and I shut my eyes, wincing.

My absence. Ugh, I should’ve known.

“I apologize, sir. It won’t happen again. I just had a lot-” I freeze, a shudder running down my spine as his thumb caresses my cheek. “S-sir? Why are you…uhm rubbing my cheek? Is there something on my face?”

As though he’s in a trance, he doesn’t reply. Rather, he grabs my arm with his free hand and squeezes it.

“My dear Aoi,” he whispers, closing the gap between us.

As though a thunder bolt strikes me, I slap him across the face. I retreat at the door, disgusted and astonished by his behavior.

“Don’t ever do that again,” I say, sensing a tremble on my lips.

Without awaiting his response, I rush out of the office and out of the building, reveling in the sensation of the chilly evening breeze crashing against my face.

It’s fine. I’m fine.

I’ll just go home, see Visha and I’ll be fine. But when I get home, no one is waiting for me.

“Visha?” I call out but only silence echoes.

I pull out my phone and call him but instead of the usual click of the call going through, I hear a beep beep beep.

“He hung up?” I mumble to myself, confused and unsettled. “That’s not possible.”

I dial his number again and the same three beeps slap me in the face like a huge fuck you. Staring at the screen, a message pops up.

Visha

I’m staying at Olivia’s place tonight. I don’t know when I’ll be back.

ME

Okay, have fun!

At least nothing bad happened. He’s alright with his friend. That’s fine. He could’ve picked up my call then. This is weird but I guess it’s alright. Everything is perfectly fine.

We haven’t talked about what happened yesterday yet. I should apologize for leaving abruptly. He must be upset about it knowing how clingy he is. I’m the adult here, I should show the example.

I slump against the couch, sighing loudly as the tension in my shoulders eases. Today was hectic to say the least. Maybe I should’ve accepted Jason’s offer.

Gazing at the city bustling with life, I sink into the familiar embrace of a feeling I spent my entire life running from.

Loneliness.