Page 44

Visha

He’s still not back.

I bring my knees to my chest and hug them. When is he coming home?

The digital clock on the bedside tells me that it’s already past three a.m. and he’s still out there somewhere. As much as I hate the thought, I find myself hoping he’s at Jasons’ place or one of his girl friends.

As long as he’s not wandering in the cold like a homeless man, I can tolerate him being in someone else’s bed for a night. It’s my fault that he left so I can’t get mad over who he’s sleeping with.

Just come home.

I can’t sleep without him. I tried but every time I do so, I jolt awake from another nightmare and barely manage to close my eyes. If he were here, I wouldn’t be struggling.

But he’s not. And maybe he won’t come back. He’s got to be sick of me by now. First the kiss, then the lies and now the jealous fits. No one would stand as long by my side.

Our bed has never felt as cold as it does now. It’s also never been as wide and spacious either. The size of it is usually perfect for our bodies, cuddling under the sheets.

I close my eyes and reminisce the sensation of his arms around my shoulders and his fingers nonchalantly stroking my hair. His breathing and heartbeat come to my mind and with it comes the intensity of my tears suddenly bursting from my eyes.

I miss him. I just want him to come back so I can apologize. I never meant what I said. I only wanted him to be as hurt as I was. I had no idea he would genuinely get upset.

Aoi’s never seemed like the type to get mad over such baseless insults. Usually, he brushes them off because they’re lies anyway but today he left without a second thought.

I spammed his phone with texts and calls, but he hasn’t answered. Not even to tell me to fuck off.

I wish he’d just come home and scream at me. Just come home and tell me that he’s angry so I can apologize and make it right. I can’t solve anything if he refuses to see me.

I’ll choose the screaming over the silence any day.

Come home. Please. I’m sorry, I love you.