Page 32

Visha

Fuck , I’m hard.

Obviously, I never intended that to happen! It’s just that he looked so beautiful today, and I hate the way he ditched me for stupid Jason. What good is he anyway? He’s old and mean. I get that they’re family but still he’s an asshole.

But mostly, it’s due to my thoughts being all over the place and my body coping in strange ways.

I wanted to cuddle with Aoi like we used to, nothing more. How was I supposed to know that my body would have a mind of its own and fuck me over like that?

His breathing is steady and rhythmic. He always falls asleep easily as if he’s constantly tired and I often suspect it’s my fault. Since he took me in three years ago, he had to take up a second part time job to feed an additional mouth.

Aoi gave up his student life for me and instead of hanging out with other young adults he spends most of his time catering to my needs. I can’t complain because I love it. Being his priority sends pools of pride and joy bursting inside me, and I fucking adore it but, does he?

His life would be so much easier without me. I don’t see why he still keeps me around.

Aoi has long and thick lashes and I have to resist the urge to touch them. His face is absolutely perfect. A small nose, full lips and defined yet plump cheeks. He has almond shaped eyes and soft freckles spreading across his nose. They’re barely noticeable unless you’re inches away from his face.

His body’s slender but still muscular. He doesn’t work out because he doesn’t have time, but he still somehow manages to keep his body fit. His skin is as pale as snow, and I noticed a couple of moles in different areas. He has one on his nape, one on his collarbones and two on his inner thighs.

How do I know that? Easy.

One time he fell asleep on the couch after showering and was only wearing his boxers so I might have looked at him sleeping and seen them. Just the thought of them makes my dick strain against my pajama pants. It’s not the moles that turn me on, it’s the placement, and the way I want to kiss and lick and bite each spot they’re in.

Am I obsessed with him? Maybe a bit.

I’ll never tell him of course because he’ll definitely freak out if I do. After all he sees me as a kid, his kid but I don’t feel the same. To me he’s everything and more and I want to do indescribable things to him that I’ll never admit out loud.

“Aoi…are you sleeping?” I whisper. “You know I love you, right? I could never live without you.”

He doesn’t answer and I sigh, relieved. His lips part as he breathes in and out. He looks so peaceful. I can feel his heartbeat under my ear, it’s a regular pulse unlike mine. My heart is going to burst.

We haven’t been this physically close in a while and I’m starting to think that it was a bad idea to cuddle. The excitement made me way too horny and all I can think of now is to take hold of his lips.

He suddenly shifts his position, turning his back to me. Thank God, he’s still sleeping. He’d startle if he saw me staring at him in the middle of the night. I slide my arm over his waist and pull him closer to me, spooning him. My face lingers so close to his nape that I can smell his perfume, and it drives me insane.

We use the same bodywash but strangely it smells different on him. It has to have something to do with the natural scent of his skin mixing with the fragrance.

My erection grows and I want to jerk off, but I don’t want to let go of his figure yet. So, I do the unimaginable. Slipping my palms under his shirt I pull him closer to me, relishing the feel of the softness of his skin.

There’s a different kind of intimacy from having skin to skin contact. Simply having my hands on his chest is enough for my satisfaction.

I can’t fucking stand physical touch usually, but Aoi has always been the exception. Even though I sometimes allow my friends to touch me, it’s a rare occasion.

All I do is imagine my fingers roaming his body as he allows me to please him and turn him into a whimpering mess. His breathing hitches but his eyes stay shut, still completely asleep.

Fuck, he’s so lewd without doing anything. I might be losing my mind. How can a man be so sexy?

I glance down between his thighs and notice that he’s hard.

I know it’s a normal bodily reaction and that it has nothing to do with my hands on him, but I wish he craved me too. If only I could suck him off.

Fuck, I can only dream of the obscene sounds that’d escape his lips, and his face twisted in pleasure as he’d come down my throat.

I know I know; I’m not allowed to do it. Let a boy dream, will you?

This is getting harder to contain. I let go of his body and hit the covers off me. I stride towards the bathroom, lock the door behind me and pull down my pants enough to take out my dick. My back leans against the door as I rub my length, sliding my hand up and down in a rhythmic movement to the image of a pleading Aoi.

My breathing grows ragged, and I thrust my hips into my palm. Wet sounds echo in the room. I tilt my head against the frame, inhaling sharply.

The only one that can turn me into this kind of mess is him. I never thought I could ever feel sexual desire for anyone after what that demon did to me in the past, but Aoi has managed to awaken something raw and primitive in me.

I want to feel his skin against the palm of my hands. I want to kiss the wounds he hides behind angelic smiles. Every sound that leaves his lips and every single minute of his life, I want them to be mine.

It takes less time than expected to make me unravel. Panting, I wipe off the evidence of my misdeed with wet wipes. Once I’m done, I pull my pants back up and drag myself back to bed, slipping under the sheets beside Aoi and going back to hugging his figure.

His body curls perfectly into mine as if he were made for me. I listen to his steady heartbeat and let the soft thumping lull me to sleep.

If I’m truly about to lose the only person I ever cared about, then I’ll take every opportunity to be as close to him as I humanly can.

***

I didn’t sleep a wink.

The entire night my brain imagined scenarios of Aoi and I happily in love. Unfortunately, reality slaps me across the face when I wake up. My thoughts wander back to last night and the way Bellami threatened to ruin Aoi’s life if I don’t leave with him.

How am I supposed to tell Aoi about it? He’ll never believe me if I announce that I want to leave.

Fucking hell, I’m just so lost. Ever since Aoi took me in and I began imagining a future with him, I never thought the day I’d have to face something as cruel as leaving him would come.

We were supposed to be together forever, embroidered into each other’s bones.

This is all my fault. I’m destroying everything like usual.

I grab my phone on the nightstand and check my texts, dreading what might await me. My friends must be pissed that I left without warning.

Unknown

The clock is ticking. Tell him before the end of the week or I will.

I’m about to lose my fucking mind. There’s so much I still want to do with Aoi. We still have to go on vacation together and I want him to see me graduate. All because of that bastard my plans fell apart in the deep sea.

I look down at Aoi still sleeping peacefully and I don’t want to wake him yet. He’s always busy and constantly tired and deserves to sleep more on weekends. So, I get up and head into the bathroom to wash my face with cold water.

I still can’t believe I’ve been so shameless last night. If he knew, he’d hate me and throw me out, he’d find me disgusting and would be repelled by my mere presence. No matter how kind he is, there’s no way he’d forgive me.

I stare at my reflection, watching the droplets of water running down my face and onto the sink below. Why can’t I have one good thing in my life?

I sigh and wipe my face dry before rushing to the kitchen and deciding to clean a bit to ease Aoi’s hardship. If I clean for him, he won’t have to bother with those chores and can spend more time with me. I might suck at math but when it comes to getting what I want, I’m smarter than Einstein.

It’s still early and yet my phone buzzes from an incoming call from Olivia. Okay, breathe, she won’t kill me if I don’t reply, but she definitely will when she catches my ass at school.

Fuck it, there’s no way out of this. I prefer death by yelling than death by ruler shoved down my throat.

“You absolute dipshit! I thought you were dead. The next time you leave without telling us, I will kill you with my own two hands!” she yells on the other end.

I hold the phone away from my ear and wince. “I’m sorry I wanted to call but I really couldn’t! You’ll never believe what happened.”

She flicks her tongue against the rooftop of her mouth, annoyed. “It better be huge or else I’ll punch you next time I see you.”

I lower my voice to a whisper in case Aoi wakes up. “Last night, after heading outside, I met some dude that claimed he was my brother.”

Skepticism drips from her tone as she says, “What kind of bullshit is that?”

I roam around the kitchen, trying to figure out a way of explaining this mess. “I didn’t believe the guy at first, but he gave me freaking DNA compatibility documents. It was basically impossible not to believe him!”

“So…you have a brother now? Does Aoi know?”

I groan in utter exasperation. “Of course not! And that’s not the worst part. That psycho threatened to ruin Aoi’s life if I don’t leave with him to fucking France!”

A loud noise clatters on the other end of the phone before she replies, stupefied, “You’ve got to be kidding. That’s actually nuts!”

“I know. I’m so lost right now.”

She cackles like she generally does when she’s distressed. “You’re so fucked.”

“Woah, thanks for the support.”

“You’re welcome,” she yawns. “No, but seriously, what are you gonna do? You can’t go with him! Besides this is all too fishy.”

I massage my temples and refrain from biting my nails. “I know but what about Aoi? I can’t risk his future because I’m greedy.”

“Wanting to stay with someone you love isn’t greedy. Especially when you’re being forced to give up your happiness for some strange bitch.”

I knew Olivia would understand. I’m neck deep in this shit. Yet the longer I think about this mess, the more I wonder why I can’t keep in touch with Aoi even after being gone.

“It’s not unsurmountable, is it?”

She remains silent for a minute then starts humming. “Well- wait a sec, my mom is yelling at my dad in the kitchen.”

Waiting patiently for her to deal with whatever is going on at home, I dwell on my desperate situation. I can still text him and call him, right? There’s no reason why Bellami would prohibit me from talking to Aoi.

The anxiety I felt building up in me slowly recedes back into its black hole. Not everything is lost. As long as he still wants to talk to me, everything will be fine.

“I’m back!” she shouts, almost bursting my eardrum.

I can get my license and come visit him during vacations and call him whenever I want. Once I turn eighteen, I’ll leave France and go back to Seattle.

Yes, everything will be fine.

It has to.