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Visha

Why does he look at him that way? He’s lying to me. There’s no other explanation.

No uncle and nephew behave that way. Family doesn’t flirt with each other. Family doesn’t gaze at you like you’re their next meal. Family doesn’t talk to you as if your mere presence keeps them afloat.

This isn’t normal . What’s really their relationship, because they’re not a family.

It pisses me off how close they are. Yet I shouldn’t be this mad because whatever they have going on is none of my business. Still, I want to know why they act in that manner.

I don’t want to be kept out of the truth. I don’t want to be pushed aside. I don’t want to be thrown away. If I ask, will he tell me? Will he be truthful with me? Can I believe him? Can I trust him? Am I wrong to long for his affection?

Just because he’s kind doesn’t mean he’ll stay kind. There’s a spark in him that ignites life in me and yet I’m terrified of letting that fire burn.

What if he sets me aflame and lets me burn until all that’s left of me are ashes?

I want my mom and dad. But I don’t really know what it feels like to have real parents that love you. I don’t know how I can possibly miss something I’ve never known in the first place.

Maybe I’m overthinking this because I’m tired. Yeah, it’s probably that.

Aoi will bring me to his place, and I’ll sleep. The rest doesn’t matter. If the only happiness I get is these short moments with him then that’s enough for me.

Some people aren’t meant to live a long and fulfilling life. I’m not meant for that perfect vision of a dream. If I were born somewhere else, if my life started differently, if-

But it doesn’t matter because they’re merely suppositions. It is what it is and maybe it’s for the better. Maybe it’s my purpose to be a punching ball, a charity case, a martyr. Or maybe I’m just one among billions and whatever I went through has no meaning.

It doesn’t matter. It simply doesn’t and it never will.