Page 19

Visha

“The first time it happened, I went crying for help to Mrs. Keyton. But she blamed me for her husband’s behavior. She kept saying that I seduced him and that it was my fault. She had no intention of ever helping me. All she cared to do was underfeed me and insult me daily.

“The kids constantly bullied me. They’d destroy the little amount of clothes I owned. They’d put insects in my food. They’d turn our classmates against me and influence them into bullying me too.” I shift my gaze toward the window.

This crap went on for a year and yet now that I think about it, isn’t there more I could’ve done? I basically laid down and took the abuse like a coward. I was complacent at most.

I hate how stupid I am and how I get angry so late rather than, I don’t know, having defended myself when I needed it.

But it wasn’t my fault! I know it wasn’t my fault and that in the end no matter what I say I wouldn’t have been able to change anything. So, why do I keep telling myself the contrary?

“No one cared. No one tried to help me. No one saw what was happening to me. If they had in fact seen, then they simply didn’t bother reacting. On Christmas Eve, I understood that I would die there if I stayed. I didn’t especially want to live but I didn’t want to die like that . So, I ran away and waited on that sidewalk. I didn’t have a plan, really. I just waited for something, anything, and nothing.”

“And I showed up?” he asks, blinking away the unshed tears.

I nod. “You were warm and bright. It made me uncomfortable how you’re always smiling but you were the first to see me. You saw me and reached for me. Twice. You gave me a chance to be more than I was at that moment. A victim, ruined goods, dead meat.”

Suddenly, Aoi grabs my shoulders and furiously shouts, “You’re not ruined goods! You’re not dead meat! Visha, do you hear me? You’re a beautiful and sweet kid. You’re smart and funny. No matter what, you’re amazing, and you deserve to be treated as such!”

His gaze brims with anger at the injustice I faced. His lashes stick together as he holds me firmly. There’s not an ounce of violence or aggression in his grip.

What’s this feeling bubbling in my chest?

“I’m sorry and thank you.”

“I care for you, Visha. I will never hurt you the way they did. Never . I know it will take time for you to trust me. And I don’t expect you to instantly rely on me but,” he sniffles, “know that you can. I decided that I would help you the moment I saw you and I intend to keep my word.”

I believe him. No matter what he says I know that he’s worthy of my trust, and I’ll believe his every word.

He takes a deep breath and reluctantly says, “There’s a simple way for you to live with me but I need you to trust me.”

The sapphire blue of his eyes shines with unease, his shoulders slumping, and our hands remain interlaced. I smile and nod. He exhales and looks down at our hands for a moment before bringing his gaze back to me. The unease completely vanishes and turns into resolve as he straightens his back.

“There is only one way I could think of to keep you safe with me. If I were to report your foster family for abuse and neglect, you would be sent to a different foster home, or you could be adopted by a family. The problem with those two options is that there is no guarantee that the people that would take you in are decent adults.”

I can already feel the loss as he lets go of my hands to bring his hair back and slides his palms over his face.

“Don’t be alarmed though. There are good people out there but I’m not going to take that risk. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if after reporting them, you were to be sent into a similar place. You don’t deserve it, and I won’t have that happen. So, I have a plan but it’s not as perfect as I wish it were.”

“I can do it. Whatever it is, I can do it.”

He chuckles and pats my head. “We’ll go see your foster family tomorrow, together . I’m going to force them into letting you live with me from now on and if they refuse.” He scoffs dryly. “I’ll ruin their fucking lives.”

Wow, I never thought Aoi could be this vicious. His usually soft eyes are sharper, matching the tension on his forehead as it creases into a deep frown. A tingle spreads over my skin as his jaw ticks.

Am I weird for being happy that he’s so angry about this?

Burning acid drips from his tongue as he speaks, “The best-case scenario, they comply with my conditions, and you’d only go back whenever social workers make a visit. That’s all. You’d stay with me for as long as you wish. If the police get involved then you’ll probably be sent to different facilities, and adoption would take ages.”

He frowns and reaches for my hand once more. “Also, no judge would ever agree to let me become your legal guardian. The problem is that with my financial state and the fact that I’m a single student, the law would never grant me custody.”

I listen patiently as he finishes explaining. It’s a rather complicated plan, but I get a hold of the most important. Aoi’s reasoning makes sense, but I really don’t want to go back for visits. I hate them . Isn’t there another way?

“Do you understand why I came up with this plan?”

I nod but have to divert my gaze from him for some reason. He picks up on it, his stare softening.

He cups my cheek and gently lifts my head up to look at him. “Visha? Is that alright with you?”

I want to be with him forever. I want to be his most precious person and for him to be my most precious. Why is the law so crappy? Why can’t they just let me be with Aoi?

It makes my blood boil. “I hate this world.”

He sighs and chuckles heartwarmingly. “I understand but I need an answer, sweetheart. I don’t want to proceed with this plan if you’re not fine with it.”

I lean my cheek into the palm of his hand and let it comfort me. “I-”

He wants what’s best for me. I know that but I don’t want to be apart from him for even a second. I may sound pitiful, begging for his affection but I couldn’t care less anymore. All that matters is us. Aoi is giving up a lot for me. I’m not stupid. I know that by taking me in for as long as I wish to stay, he’ll give up his freedom and become a parent.

Does he know what it means? Does he understand the consequences of his decisions? If he does, then I’ll gladly agree to anything he deems necessary. “Will we be together forever?”

“Yes. If that’s what you want, then yes. This plan is the only way I can keep you safe.”

I nod. “Okay, let’s do it.”

He gives me one of his usual warm smiles and tucks me to bed.

I used to hate having someone sleeping next to me because of that monster. But now I want to feel Aoi’s warmth against the cold of my skin.

I reach for the hem of his shirt, and he halts. He’s going to go sleep on the couch again, isn’t he? I don’t want him to leave me, even for the night.

“Can you sleep with me? I’m scared of having another nightmare.”

It’s not entirely a lie. I got used to them but what I fear isn’t nightmares. The most terrifying part is waking up in that wretched house and realizing that my fears are reality and that there is no escape.

I slept like a baby in Aoi’s bed the prior night, which is strange, because I never slept so peacefully and safely in my life, and I know it’s all due to Aoi’s presence.

If he sleeps next to me, it’ll be like sleeping next to the sun. He’ll eradicate my nightmares before they even reach me.

“Of course, I can.”

He lays down under the sheets next to me and lets me wrap my arms around him. Caressing my hair, I drift to sleep with the sound of Aoi’s breathing and lulling heartbeat.