Page 23

Visha

When I wake up, the space next to me is empty. I blink away the morning haze and check the time on the small digital clock sitting on the nightstand.

Aoi hasn’t slept in his bed again .

During the entire morning as we get ready to go face the Keytons, Aoi’s like a shell of himself. He doesn’t answer most of the time when I call his name, nor does he pay attention to anything he does.

Did I make him uncomfortable with my story to the point that now he doesn’t want to be near me after all? Does he regret wanting to help me? Seeing him being so out of it puts me on edge. I can’t even ask him what’s up because what if he admits not wanting to go through with his plan?

We spend the drive to the suburban house of the Keytons back in Redmond in complete silence. Aoi hasn’t said a word since we climbed in and typed the address in the GPS. The longer we stay engulfed in silence, the more I’m convinced that he’s mad at me for some reason.

I can’t stand it anymore.

“Are you mad at me?”

The question comes out in a whisper, but Aoi’s head whips toward me, his features contorting in perplexity.

He blinks, confused, and goes back to watching the road. “No, of course not. Why would you think that?”

Why would I think that? He basically ignored me the entire morning. He’s constantly lost in thought and frowning. It amazes me how he didn’t spill his coffee earlier after seeing how he was more focused on whatever was happening in his mind than his scorching mug on the table.

“You haven’t spoken to me all morning and you’ve been acting weird.” My fingers fidget in my lap but abruptly stop when his hand carefully grasps mine and gives it a gentle squeeze.

“I’m sorry if that’s how I made you feel. I can assure you that I’m not mad at you. You didn’t do anything for me to be mad anyway.” Noticing that I’m not convinced he continues. “Don’t be scared to tell me if I behave in a way that upsets you. You have every right to call me out on my actions, Visha.”

A new pressure squeezes around my heart. He’s not angry at me. A wave of relief hits me and bubbles in my stomach like a fish exhaling underwater. It’s rather funny how every action and word of his has such a massive impact on my emotional stability.

I nod and stare out of the window, watching the trees pass and people stroll in the street. “Thank you. I seriously thought you were mad at me for some reason, and I didn’t like that.”

“I’m gonna try to communicate better to avoid this type of misunderstandings. I don’t want to make you blame yourself for my negative moods.”

“Did something happen?”

“Mhm? Oh, no nothing happened. I’m just tired I guess.”

Liar. That’s not the face of someone that’s 'just tired' but I can’t tell him that. It’s not my place to call him out on something that’s clearly none of my business.

“Are you nervous?” he asks, apprehensively. He forces a smile and focuses on the road, taking back his hand and holding the steering wheel with both hands.

I don’t know what to answer. I’m not only nervous. I’m scared of what they’ll do or say once we get there. I’m terrified about the repercussions of this plan if it doesn’t work out in the end. What will happen to me in that case? Will I end up all alone? Will he give up on me? Will I be forced to stay with the Keytons?

As I don’t answer, Aoi takes my silence as a yes and thus he laughs. “Don’t worry about anything. From now on, it’s all in my hands. If it goes wrong, I’ll take responsibility. No matter what, I’m taking you with me and if they really want to be stubborn and disagree with the terms, then I’ll adopt you.”

He always seems so confident in whatever he says or does. I wonder how someone like him lives in this wretched world. He alone illuminates my life with a mere smile while others wreck me through the mud without blinking an eye.

“I don’t know how, but I’ll make it happen somehow.”

“You make the situation sound so simple. It’s as if everything’ll be fine no matter what happens as long as I stay by your side.”

Is that what happiness feels like? Is this what people call comfort and safety? He’s now the closest thing I have to a family. It must be the first time in my life that I truly cherish something and want to keep to myself.

“You think so? I may not seem like it but deep down I’m freaking out.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

I still want to ask about the true reason behind his strange behavior this morning, but I don’t want that smile on his face to fade away so soon. So, I remain quiet and watch the road as we drive past the Keytons’ home.

“It’s okay. It’ll be alright,” he assures but I can’t stop the doubt from creeping in.

It isn’t going to be alright. It’s simply too good to be true. This is how things will go off in my mind: we’ll knock on the door and Sharon will open with that hypocritical smile of hers. She’ll ask us why we came and glare at me through her mask of fake politeness. Aoi will walk inside and start threatening them, but they won’t go along with the plan and instead they’ll take me back and I’ll suffer the consequences of running away and seeking help.

That’s what will happen and as that realization dawns on me, I start shaking. “I can’t go, Aoi. I-I’m scared. What if they hurt you ? What if they punish me again for running away? Please, I don’t want to see them. I can’t-”

Nausea swarms in my stomach like a hurricane. Aoi unbuckles his seat belt and abruptly undoes mine. I look up at him through tears and the next second, he picks me up to sit me in his lap. Caressing my hair gently like a mother would to her baby, we stay quietly in this position for a while, my head resting against his chest while both his heartbeat and breathing lull me to a comfortable peace.

No words are needed when he holds me so attentively because his actions speak volumes. He won’t let anything bad happen to me. That’s what his embrace tells me. I can feel it and that makes me sob.

My paradise.

“I’m here,” he exhales, his voice as quiet as a whisper. “I know how scary it is to have to face them but you’re not alone anymore. I’ll be there to protect you, and I’ll hold your hand through the entire process. If it’s really too much for you, would you feel more comfortable staying in the car?”

I’d feel more at ease staying behind, yet at the same time, I don’t want to be away from him. He promised to protect me, and I want to trust that he will. If I stay by his side, I won’t have to worry about a thing. I want to be strong. I need to overcome this so that I’ll never look back on this day and have regrets.

So, I pull away from his embrace and with as much confidence as I can muster, I say, “I’m coming.”

Aoi smiles proudly then unlocks the door and pushes it open, stepping out of the vehicle. He joins me on the sidewalk and locks the car behind us. The Keytons’ suburban house is barely a minute away, so we stroll for a while. Despite it not snowing anymore, I have to nuzzle in my winter coat for warmth as Aoi holds my hand.

He’s like a personal radiator. I remember thinking the same thing the first night we met. I never really had the chance to go around the city and explore. I was often too busy hiding, but I don’t need to hide anymore.

The dark cream walls of the Keytons’ house come into view despite the snow covering our surroundings. I point at the house and Aoi nods. We walk up to the front door, and I stiffen.

Aoi squeezes my hand and reassuringly smiles down at me, while he rings the doorbell and waits in apprehension as the door flies open and a blonde middle-aged woman greets us with a confused yet polite smile.

“Hello. Can I help you?” she asks cordially until she peers down and notices me. “Oh, my goodness, Visha! Where have you been?!”

That worried expression of hers makes her look like a good mother but I know it’s all an act. She only cares about the pay checks she’d stop receiving if I ran away and never came back. I hold Aoi’s hand tighter and look down at my boots covered in snow. He smiles politely and offers me another squeeze of reassurance.

“Hello. I apologize for the disturbance, but I have some matters to discuss with you and your husband regarding this little one.” He nods down at me.

Sharon, taken by surprise, opens the door and welcomes us inside. “If he did anything to offend you sir, then I profusely apologize. He’ll get a good scolding for running away,” she warns, concealing her irritation behind a pout.

I flinch and scoot closer to Aoi as we step into the entrance. It’s warm inside but despite the familiar scent and atmosphere, I can’t help but hear that little voice urging me to run and hide.

She latches onto my arm and pulls me by her side, separating me from Aoi. “May I know what he’s done for you to request a discussion with my husband and I?”

She viciously flashes her dulled icy eyes at him. Her tone is firm and sharp despite her cheshire cat smile. She doesn’t like other people meddling in her family’s business, but I’m not her family. I’m just a bother, a piece of gum stuck to the sole of her shoe.

Aoi’s gaze narrows on her red polished claws on my arm and his tone goes cold as he speaks, “Remove your hand from this child.”

“Excuse me? And why would I do that? He’s under my responsibility and I will not allow a stranger to order me around.”

Her hypocritical mask falters momentarily, but Aoi doesn’t wait for her to throw him out and yanks me back to his side. He crouches down to pick me up in his arms. I fling myself around his neck and bury my face in the collar of his coat.

“We’re going to have a conversation whether you like it or not. Visha will be leaving with me, and you will listen to what I have to say. So, either you call your husband to hear what I’m about to say, or you can deliver this information to him yourself.”

His voice is firm but deep down he’s nervous too. He’s only twenty-two, too young to have to deal with my mess and yet here we are. Sharon glares at us as I stare at her. Her forehead creases as her frown deepens and she sizes him up.

Gone is the pretended politeness and hospitality.

She clenches her fists at her sides and scowls. “He’s not here now. What do you want? Say it and leave.”

Aoi lowers me down and my feet hit the carpet. He ushers me behind him to become a wall between me and her. “I know about the abuse you put Visha through so don’t even try to deny it, I won’t believe a word coming out of your wretched mouth. I plan on taking him with me and you will let me. Legally, you’ll stay his foster family, and you will still get paid.” He holds up a hand as she attempts to interrupt him. “I won’t ask for money. I don’t need it. All I’m asking is that you stay out of his life and quietly accept the pay checks.”

Her fury mixes with confusion and outrage. “You want to take the brat, and we’ll still get the money?” she mutters, eyeing him suspiciously. “Where’s the trap? Why won’t you simply adopt him then?”

“If I could, I fucking would,” he snaps, before exhaling sharply, attempting to recollect himself.

The way he gets angry for me and my pain, makes me smile despite myself.

Sharon notices and flips out, “What’re you smiling for you little shit?!”

Aoi’s arm flies between us to shield me.

In an almost lethal tone he declares, “Don’t ever talk to him again. Don’t ever set your eyes on him again or I will make sure you and your entire family pay gravely for your sins. If you think I’m bluffing, think again.” He pulls out a document from his pocket and hands it to her. “Sign this and we’re gone.”

I don’t know what’s written on the paper as I can’t see it from where I stand but Aoi explains when she sneers at the document.

“This is a contract stipulating that as long as you keep your mouth shut, I will too. You agree to never utter a word about this agreement, and I agree to not hand you over to the authorities with the foolproof pictures I took of Visha’s bruises.” He smirks, aware of the advantage he possesses.

I peer up at him because that’s a lie. He never took any pictures of me, and I know he wouldn’t do that without my consent. Right?

She glares at him and grits her jaw. “You piece of shit.”

Despite her insult, she stomps her feet towards the living room and comes back a few seconds later with the document signed. My heart thunders in my chest. Is it over? Am I finally free?

Aoi yanks the paper out of her hand and folds it before shoving it back in the pocket of his coat. He takes my hand and smiles. Not just any smile but his usual one, full of kindness. The kind I will be able to see every day after this.

Sharon’s clearly lost patience with us and yanks the front door open. “Now get out. I don’t ever want to see either one of you again.”

Before we walk out Aoi asks me, “Is there something valuable among your stuff that you want to bring along?”

I shake my head and haul him out of the house of nightmares. There isn’t anything I need more than him. Everything I own has been defiled and reduced to shreds by Robert and Dean anyway.

We walk out and without looking back as she slams the door we head over to his car. It started snowing again. It’s freezing cold outside, but I’m buzzing with warmth as we halt in front of the vehicle.

“It’s over,” he says, barring all of his white teeth.

If I thought that earlier was happiness, then this has to be ascension to heaven.

Aoi lounges toward me and hauls me up, spinning me around in the air. He laughs brightly as a few delicate tears well up in his eyes and start their course down his cheeks. “Let’s go home!”

Home . I finally have a home to return to and that’s Aoi.

My Aoi. My savior. My God.