Page 33 of Slashed By You (Chicago Steel #5)

Chapter 33

Josh

S ince Kenzie has been in my life, I’ve been eager to get home from road trips, but now with Issac, I’m desperate. Being away from them is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Because he’s so young, I know he’ll never remember it, but Kenzie and I will. It’s hard not to feel guilty, especially the first few times.

Playing for the NHL definitely has some perks, like my paycheck and the offseason, but other things are a definite burden. Before Issac arrived, I learned from other players that the NHL doesn’t offer a standardized paternity leave. I met with Trey McConnell, the owner of the Steel, and he granted me two weeks. I only missed one away series, but I know that was enough. As the captain, my presence has a large effect on player morale.

Thanksgiving is next week, and along with the holiday, Kenzie’s parents will arrive to meet their grandson and lend help while I’m on the road. I’ll only be home for a few days while they’re visiting. And to say I’m anxious is an understatement. I only have a few days to win them over.

On my way home from this latest trip, I text Kenzie.

Me

Hey, babe, we just landed. Do you need me to stop at the store for anything?

Kenzie

I’m so glad you’re back. I need a shower, like yesterday. But we need a few things from the store. Can you also grab something for dinner?

Me

Do you want anything in particular?

Kenzie

Something yummy.

Me

I’ve got you. Can you send me your grocery list?

Kenzie

Will do. Thank you, babe.

Me

No problem. I’ll see you soon. I love you.

Kenzie

Love you too.

Before I leave the arena, I call in an order to Mateo’s for dinner. I know some comfort foods like lasagna, garlic bread, and tiramisu will go a long way to helping Kenzie feel better. Stopping by the grocery store is quick and easy since we don’t need much.

“I’m home,” I call out as I push through the front door. Kenzie walks around the corner holding Issac close.

“Hi,” she whispers.

Setting down my bags, I rush toward them and wrap them in my arms. “I missed you two so much,” I say against her head. Her shoulders shake, and I pull back. Her blue eyes are misty with unshed tears. “Kenz, babe. Give me Issac and then you go hop in the shower while I get dinner out. Then once you’re full, you can get to bed early.”

“Are you sure?” Her voice is soft and weary.

Smiling, I nod. “I need some Issac snuggles.” Kenz gives me a weak smile. “I love you. Now, hand over my son and go take a moment for yourself.” Once she’s passed over my little man, I go back to the bags I left near the front door. “Let’s get the groceries put away before we get dinner ready for your mommy, okay?” His big blue eyes stare up at me, and I feel on top of the world. Smiling, I bop his nose as I lower him into the bouncy chair before I tackle the groceries. “I hear you’ve been giving Mom a hard time while I was away. I thought we had a deal. While I’m away, you’re the man of the house, and it’s your job to take care of your mom.” Moving around the kitchen, I grab everything we’ll need for dinner. Hearing Kenzie come down the stairs, I check on my little man and see he’s fallen asleep.

“Is that Mateo’s I smell?” she gushes as she enters the kitchen.

Laughing, I answer, “Of course. I figured a delicious, hearty meal would be just what you needed, along with a lot of sleep.”

Freshly showered with semi-damp hair pulled into a messy bun on the top of her head, she looks refreshed and gorgeous. She gifts me a smile before she lifts on her toes and brushes her lips across mine. It’s a taste of the divine, and I want more. I go to pull her in for another, when her stomach ruins the moment by growling loudly. I groan and she laughs. “Apparently, I’m hungry.”

We sit down to dinner, and Kenzie moans her delight. I’m glad she’s enjoying the meal. Too often she forgets her own needs, only worrying about Issac. I see all she does, and it blows my mind that she handles it all with grace and a smile.

“Josh.” Kenzie says my name as she places her hand on my arm.

I look at her and smile.

She smiles back, lighting up the room. Looking deeper, I see the weariness playing peek-a-boo in her eyes. “I was saying thank you for this.” She points to dinner. “But you seemed lost in thought. Is everything okay?”

I force a smile. “Yeah. I was just thinking of how much our lives have changed recently.”

She laughs. “Yes, things have definitely changed.” She pauses for a moment, then adds. “For the better… right?” I don’t miss the hesitation and worry in her voice.

Reaching for her hand, I confidently answer, “Definitely for the better.” But then I lower my head and confess, “I just realized how much harder it is on you when I’m on the road.”

Her eyes flick to Issac, who is happily vibrating away in his chair. “It is, but we’ll make it work.” Her confidence is impressive. I can only imagine what it’s been like for her. Adjusting to motherhood with a partner who is gone so frequently has to be a struggle. I wish I could do more to help.

“We will,” I agree. What if…? “Kenz, is there anything I can do to help you while I’m away? We could hire a nanny, a housekeeper, or have ready-made meals delivered.”

She smiles at me. “I appreciate the offer, but I want to figure this out on my own. I know once I’ve got us on a schedule, things will be much easier.” Then she let out a sigh.

“Tell me, how tough has it been? What can I do while I’m home for a few days?”

Sitting back in her chair, I notice her plate is empty. Man, she was starving. As I wait for her to answer, I scoop another slice of lasagna onto her plate. Her eyes sparkle. “Thank you.” The way she looks at me makes me feel like I’m ten feet tall.

“Honestly, it hasn’t been too bad. So far, it’s been a guessing game as I try to understand all his different cries. I don’t always interpret them correctly and that only leads to more crying.”

I put my hand up like I’m in school, preparing to ask a question. “Wait. You’re telling me he has distinct cries, and each one means something different?”

The smile on her nodding head says it all. What have we gotten ourselves into?

“I thought babies just cried and then you ran through a list of the major things they might need, hoping that one of them soothes them.”

She laughs and questions, “Major things?”

Feeling stupid, I lower my head. “Josh. Tell me.”

I look up and she offers me a sweet smile. “Kenz, I’ve never been around babies. I thought they just ate, slept, and pooped. You know, the major things.”

“Babe, you’re right. Those are the major things with babies, but they have distinct cries for each one. And learning those early on will help you soothe them quicker.”

A distinct rumble comes from Issac’s direction. “Was that—” is all I can get out before Kenzie laughs.

“Your son is a gassy dude, but I just fed him before you got home, so it could be something else. She smirks at me. Sure enough, the little man’s face turns red and scrunches up tight right before a powerful explosive noise comes from him. Instinctively, I reach for him.

“Let’s give him a minute to see if he’s done, otherwise you might get an unpleasant surprise in the middle of a diaper change.”

“My son wouldn’t dare,” I scoff. She waggles her eyebrows and snickers. “Would he?” I question. She shrugs her shoulders as a grin spreads across her beautiful face.

As if on cue, he let out another ripper, startling me. “How can something so small make such a disturbing noise?”

She laughs. “Just wait until you see what’s in the diaper.”

I motion to Issac. “You think he’s done now? I hate to leave him sitting in that. It sounded messy.”

“That’s breast milk. Poop is looser. Want me to change him?”

Standing up from my chair, I confidently answer, “I’ve got this.” At least I hope I do.

“We got this buddy. Right?” I whisper to Issac before pulling him from his bouncy chair. His butt is warm and squishy, and I wonder what I’m in for. Laying him on the changing table we have set up in our living room, I keep a hand on him while I grab a diaper and wipe. This oughta do the trick. “Let’s see what we’re working with.” The smell of what he’s done hits me first, and my stomach heaves. Once I peel back his sleeper, I know I’m in serious trouble. I’m going to need many more wipes.

“Dude. You are tiny. How the fuck did you make such a big mess?” Kenzie laughs from the other room. I holler to her, “Do I need a hazmat suit for this operation? This outfit’s ruined and going straight to the trash. I’ve never seen such yellow poop. Why is it yellow?” Each comment I make comes out squeakier and squeakier, like I’m a teenage boy going through puberty. Kenzie keeps laughing. At least someone is getting enjoyment out of this.

Finally, when I have Issac completely disrobed, I attack the diaper. Who designed this? I thought they were supposed to contain the poop. Maybe we got a flawed batch? “Kenzie, remind me to go to the store tomorrow and pick up new diapers. I think this batch is flawed.” Loud, unrestrained laughter is all I get from the next room. Carefully, I turn Issac over and see the problem, the poop, if we can call it that, hasn’t been contained. It was so powerful it came up and over his diaper. I set him back down and slowly peel back the tabs, revealing the entire mess my son has made. “Shit,” I mutter to myself.

A half-hour and a hundred wipes later, I’ve got it all handled. I dress my son in a fresh diaper and I’m about to put a new sleeper on when I hear another rumble. “Really, dude? You can’t possibly have anything else in your system.” Looking down at the butt of his diaper, I see it’s still clean. I breathe out a sigh of relief when I hear Kenzie behind me.

“How are you doing?”

Ignoring the mess I made, I tuck Issac to my chest and turn around. “We’re great. How are you?”

She pats her stomach. “I’m full. Thank you again.”

I watch her eyes widen as they take in the changing table behind me. “If you take the little man and put him in his clean sleeper, I’ll take care of that,” I offer.

“Deal,” she says while reaching for our son. He already recognizes his mom. It is a beautiful thing to see.

After I’ve cleaned up the remnants of the diaper change from hell, I wrap up the leftovers from dinner and clean up the kitchen. I run my bag upstairs and change into a pair of athletic shorts before I hunt out my family. Sitting snuggled on the couch are Kenzie and Issac, and I pause for a moment to take it all in. I couldn’t be happier than I am right now. What if she was your wife? That isn’t a new thought. Ever since we got back together, I’ve wanted more. I just don’t want to push it. I already feel lucky to have her back in my life. I don’t want to pressure her into something she isn’t ready for. But maybe she is ready.

“When are your parents arriving?” I ask as I make my way over to the couch.

Turning her head to me, I see the weariness on her face, but it doesn’t take away from the fact that she’s the most beautiful woman in the world. “They get here the day after tomorrow and are staying for two weeks.”

“And they’re okay with our non-traditional Mateo’s catered Thanksgiving dinner?” I question. I mean, I want to make a good impression on them. I hope to call them my in-laws soon.

She laughs, and Issac squirms on her chest. “They’re actually looking forward to it. I’ve been raving about Mateo’s since you first took me there.”

Snuggling in next to them, I set my arm behind Kenzie, and she moves close to me. We both stare at our son with wonder and amazement. “He’s so perfect. Thank you, Kenz, for the best gift ever.”

Tipping her head to me, I can see unshed tears in her eyes. “I love you, Josh.” Placing a tender kiss on her lips, a warmth radiates through my body, relaxing me entirely. This is the life.