Page 32 of Slashed By You (Chicago Steel #5)

Chapter 32

Kenzie

A fter the call where Josh invites me to move in with him, I know I need to call my parents. They know Josh and I are back together and he’s the father of my baby. But now I’ve got to tell them we’re moving in together.

After a few rings, my mom answers. “Hello.”

“Mom,” I excitedly say.

“Hi, sweetie. How are you? How is my little angel treating his mother?”

Rubbing my enormous belly, I laugh. “We’re wonderful, Mom. It’s hard to believe he’ll be here soon.”

“I know. I am so excited to see you and meet him. And Josh too.”

There’s some noise on the other end of the line. “Did I call at a bad time?” I ask. Glancing at the clock, I see it shouldn’t be too late there.

“No, it’s perfect timing. Your father was trying to get me to rearrange the pantry a certain way he saw on some infomercial.” She laughs.

I chuckle and say, “I’m guessing you don’t see the benefit, but Dad’s working to show you?” She laughs again. I can picture her standing in their kitchen, surrounded by boxes and cans, while Dad explains how this new, easy organizational method will not only save them time but money.

“It sounds a little chaotic there. I was calling to share some good news.”

“Go on,” my dad encourages.

“Well, when you come to Chicago, you don’t need to stay at a hotel for your visit.”

All extra noise stops on their side of the line. “Kenzie, what do you mean?”

“Josh asked me to move in, and he has extra room for you to stay with us.” I hesitate, wondering what they’ll say.

My mom hums. “We won’t be in the way?”

Thinking about how large Josh’s house is, I laugh. “Heaven’s no. Josh has a large house, and it would be more convenient for you to stay with us. We both want you to stay with us.”

My dad answers, “If you’re sure, we’ll stay with you. Please tell Josh we said thank you.”

The rest of our conversation is about the baby and how excited we are to see each other.

Hanging up, I fire off a quick text to Josh.

Me

Talked to my parents, and they said thank you for the invitation to stay at the house.

Josh

It’s no problem. It makes me feel so much better knowing you’ll have help while I’m gone. I love you, babe. I better go to sleep so I’m not dragging at the game tomorrow.

Me

I love you too. Sleep well. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.

I t’s the first of November and I’m officially moved into Josh’s house and mostly settled. True to his word, I didn’t have to lift a finger. Which was amazing. By far, it was the easiest move I’ve ever made. And it happened just in time. Josh got home from his latest series yesterday and this morning I wake up early, feeling a tight cramping in my stomach. I sit in the nursery trying to rest, knowing I’ll never be able to get back to sleep. With my feet propped up and my trusty water bottle at my side, I try to work through my discomfort. Are these Braxton Hicks contractions? But by the second hour of sitting in the world’s comfiest rocking chair, I know something isn’t right. My back hurts so much, I can barely keep still. The throbbing intensifies, pulsing down my spine and snaking all the way around to my stomach, stealing my breath. There isn’t any doubt now—I’m in labor. My contractions aren’t regular yet, but they’re getting stronger. Three hours after I’d woken up, Josh comes looking for me.

“Kenzie, where are you?”

“I’m in here,” I pant in a strained voice.

He enters the room, and as soon as his gaze lands on me, his eyes go wide and he looks concerned. “Babe, are you okay?”

I huff a laugh. “I’m great. But I… ahhh.” He rushes to my side.

“What’s wrong?”

Once the contraction subsides, I focus on him. “I think I’m in labor. My contractions have been getting stronger and more frequent over the past hour. I haven’t been able to time them, but they feel like they’re getting closer together.”

Before he can say anything, another one strikes. “Ahhh.” I moan through another one. It feels like my stomach is being squeezed by a vise.

Pulling his hands through his hair, he says what I’m thinking. “Holy shit. This is really happening.” Again, I huff a humorless laugh. No shit, Sherlock.

“Josh, I hate to bug you, but I think I need to get to the hospital sooner rather than later.”

He quickly stands and hurries to the door, forgetting me completely as he lists all the things we need to bring with us. When he’s halfway down the hallway, I still hear him muttering, “Car seat, diaper bag, phone charger…”

“Josh,” I holler.

Moments later, he’s in the doorway, looking flustered. “Babe, I forgot you.” Rushing to my side, he helps me to my feet and walks me to the door.

“Grab the diaper bag. It has everything in it,” I remind him. A timid smile appears across his worried face.

“That’s right, and the car seat is already in the car with the other bag you packed.” He forces a laugh. “I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t so prepared.” I don’t either.

We arrive safely at the hospital twenty minutes later, despite Josh’s anxious state. Because I’m in active labor, I’m given a wheelchair ride to labor and delivery. Nurse Karen shows us to a room. Once I’m changed into the hospital gown, she returns to start an IV and hook me up to a machine that monitors the baby’s heart rate and my contractions. Then she checks my cervix, and nothing could have prepared me for that—I practically shoot off the bed—and then she informs me I’m only dilated to a three. “You have a bit to go before we call Dr. Cruise in. Your water hasn’t even broken, so she may want to do that to get things going,” she says, then leaves.

“You’re at a three. Remind me what you have to be at before you push,” Josh says.

Before I can answer, another contraction overtakes me, forcing me to silence. I try to remember what I learned in my birthing class, and no matter how hard I focus on my breathing, I’m still panting. A bead of sweat trickles down my back. “Breath babe,” Josh calmly reminds me. When the worst of it has passed, I look at him and I feel my chin wobble. My emotions are raw. I’m a mess. A whirlwind of joy, fear, excitement, and pain overwhelms me. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

As if he senses my unease, Josh strokes my hand. “Kenzie, babe. You’ve got this. You are the strongest and bravest woman I know.” I nod as another contraction tears through my abdomen. Groaning because they feel stronger, I look at the man I love for strength. His smile is all I need to survive. “I love you,” I whisper.

“I love you too,” he says before lowering his forehead to mine. A moment is all we get before Dr. Cruise pops in. “I hear we’re having a baby today.”

“We hope so,” Josh answers as I grimace through another contraction. She strolls over to check on my contractions.

“You are laboring beautifully, Kenzie. I’m going to check you.” Dr. Cruise steps up to the side of the bed while pulling on her gloves. “Your nurses say you were a three when they last checked you about an hour ago. Let’s see what progress you’ve made.” As soon as she checks me, I feel a lot of pressure and then a large gush.

“Was that what I think it was?” I ask, worried.

She nods. “It was your water breaking, and it’s perfectly normal. You’re at a solid four. I’ll get the nurses in here to switch your bedding and your gown. Prepare yourself, Kenzie, your labor is about to shift into high gear. I’ll be back soon.” Then she smiles and disappears out of my room.

Terrified, I look at Josh, but he looks as scared as I feel. It’s too late to go back. Summoning courage from somewhere, I tell myself, “You can do this.”

Within minutes, my room is busy with nurses changing my bedding. They leave a clean gown for me to change into before they file out the door. Josh helps me change, and before I even have the wet gown unsnapped, I double over in pain. It’s sharper and more intense than it has been, and now it isn’t just in my abdomen, but it has snaked to my lower back. I mindlessly rub just above my tailbone while praying for relief. White hot pain shoots around my back, stealing my breath and making me weak. When it passes, Josh and I work quickly to get the dry gown on and secured before anyone else interrupts. I climb back into my hospital bed and groan at the discomfort my body is enduring. Why can’t men carry the babies? I mean, they’re the ones always telling women how much stronger they are. Before I can consider that, Nurse Karen is back. “Let’s check you.” Now that she mentions it, the contractions feel stronger. “You’re at five, halfway there. I’ll update Dr. Cruise. I bet in a few hours you’ll be holding a baby.”

Once she leaves the room, Josh and I stare at each other in disbelief. Finally, he breaks the silence. “This is really happening. We’re about to be parents.”

I whisper, “Are we ready?” He shrugs and laughs.

“Guess we’ll find out the hard way.” I laugh, but it turns into a groan when pain wraps around me like a boa constrictor. “Breathe, Kenz,” he says, reminding me of the syncopated pattern they taught us.

“Hee, hee, hoo. Hee, hee, hoo.” We get into a rhythm of breathing as soon as I feel my stomach tighten. Over the next hour, I breathe as Josh rubs a tennis ball on my lower back. He’s trying to ease some aches I have there, but when my doctor comes in to check on me, she tells him I’m suffering from back labor. I’m moaning, covered in sweat, and slightly winded. I grimace through her examination.

“Your labor seems to have stalled. And I see how hard you’re working, but at the rate you’re going, you are going to be exhausted by the time you have to push.”

“Okay, what do you suggest?” I pant, knowing that I’m not confident in my ability to do this naturally. Hell, I wrote epidural as a possibility in my labor plan.

“You are almost at a six, and an anesthesiologist can come give you an epidural. It will relax your body enough to allow you to continue laboring without so much discomfort.”

Decided, I turn to Dr. Cruise. “Please,” I answer. Before I know it, my room is filled with more medical personnel and I’m hunched over a pillow, trying to remain as still as possible while shivering through contractions. Once the epidural is placed, I’m able to rest, and two hours later, I’m fully dilated.

Because of the epidural, I can’t feel anything below my waist and both Josh and a nurse have to assist me in holding my legs back as Dr. Cruise directs my pushing. Our little man must like his home because it takes over an hour and a half of pushing before he’s delivered.

His cry is the best sound I’ve ever heard, and I openly weep over his safe arrival. Josh cuts the cord as Dr. Cruise finishes up with me. The baby scores great on his Apgar tests and soon he is swaddled and handed to me. My heart feels like it’s going to leap out of my chest. I’m overjoyed, relieved, and content. My son is here. Wiping tears from my eyes, I tuck him securely against my chest and whisper, “I love you.” And I could swear he smiles up at me. Unlikely, I know, but that’s what I’m telling myself.

Looking up, I see Josh staring at us, an expression of wonderment on his face. “Isn’t he amazing?” I ask.

He nods. “You both are. I love you both so much.” Smiling widely, I am so grateful for our little family. At one point, it felt like an impossibility, but now, seeing how far we’ve come, I don’t doubt what we have will last forever.

A nurse approaches. “I’m sorry for interrupting, but we need to give your son a bath before we take you over to the mother-baby unit. Do you know what this handsome little man’s name will be?”

Josh and I exchange a look before he speaks. “We’re naming him Issac after his great-grandpa.”

The nurse hums. “That is just so special.” I hand her Issac and she whisks him across the room for his first official bath. Josh, the dutiful father he is, follows close behind with his cell phone out to capture everything. I take a moment to breathe. Dr. Cruise slips back in the room and walks over to my bed.

“I’m so proud of you, Kenzie. You did a fantastic job. Take care of yourself and Issac, and I will see you in a few weeks. Call my office if you need us sooner. Congratulations, Momma.” She gives me a hug before she leaves.

The next forty-eight hours are a cluster. Between our friends’ visits, breastfeeding attempts, and diaper changes, it is chaos trying to figure everything out. When we’re finally discharged, we can’t believe it. They’re letting us take Issac home and we don’t even have an instruction manual.

The drive home is agonizingly slow, as Josh travels with extreme caution. Once we get there, all I want is a hot shower and some comfy pajamas. I would also kill for some decent food. However, as if Issac senses we’re no longer in the hospital and surrounded by a flock of nurses, he shakes things up. He starts with a meconium-filled diaper that has us trying to carefully scrape a tar-like substance off his tiny bottom. Then he wants to nurse but doesn’t want to latch. Every time I think I have him on, he arches his back, pulls off, then whimpers because he’s hungry. All his crying leads to him being extra gassy, which makes him cry even more. Let’s just say the first half day home is trying. Add in my hormones and emotions, and there are no good words to describe it.

On day number two, Samantha and Shiloh come over and check on us. They bring dinners for the freezer. Josh disappeared upstairs a few hours ago, and if I were a betting woman, I’d guess he went to get some sleep. That’s critical right now. We need sleep to survive, and in a few weeks, he’ll be back on the road and I’ll be left alone. Kind of. My parents are visiting from Seattle when Josh is back in town a few days before Thanksgiving. Because I’m still learning what it’s like to have a newborn, Josh planned with Mateo’s on a non-traditional Thanksgiving dinner. I’m so thankful I don’t have to cook. I didn’t think it could be this possible to be so tired and still function. Exhausted, hormonal, and anxious, but so damn happy. This isn’t the life I thought I would be living, and I’m thankful for that too, because sometimes the unplanned moments are the best.