Page 14 of Slashed By You (Chicago Steel #5)

Chapter 14

Kenzie

“ E arth to Kenzie,” Toby says loudly as he claps his hands next to my ear. Startled, my arms fly out and flour dust goes everywhere.

“What?” I question, panicked.

“Kenz, we’ve run out of your banana nut muffins. Do we have any more?” Like a robot, I nod my head. “Good.” He sighs dramatically. “We’re swamped up front and I’ve been hollering for you, but you never answered.” He puts his hands on his slight hips. “Once the crowd finally settled down, I peeked back and found you like this.” Toby’s exaggerated movements draw my eyes to the messy countertop in front of me.

I grimace. Being type A, my kitchen is usually pristine, so the scene in front of me horrifies me. To prepare for fall, I’ve been making small batches of a new recipe—a ginger pear muffin with a strudel topping. I’ve been working out all the kinks before introducing it to my customers. So far, everyone who’s tasted them has given rave reviews.

Looking up, I see Toby eyeball the batter in my bowl and lick his lips. “Are you making those pear muffins again? When will they be ready?” I laugh. Toby is as thin as could be, which you’d never guess from the way he consumes my bakery items. He uses his employee discount to the nth degree.

“Yes, Toby, this is my last test batch before we begin selling them next week.”

“So, there will be some to taste test?” he asks, his voice raising a pitch with his excitement. I just smile as I go back to hand-mixing my batter.

Just as I start folding in my pears, I notice Toby still standing there. Pointing across the kitchen, I say, “The rest of the banana nut muffins are over there. Did you need something else?”

He grabs the muffins and walks over to me. “When I came back here, you were lost in thought. Is everything okay?”

Grabbing my muffin tin, I scoop batter into the liners I already set up. “Everything is great.” I feel the edges of my smile tug up as I remember waking up this morning with Josh wrapped around me. His body was so warm and firm. Well, parts of him were firmer than others, if you get my drift. One in particular that I hadn’t explored yet but had put me into the throes of passion last night was definitely making its presence known. Last night was perfect. We hadn’t rushed into anything, but we’d enjoyed ourselves. Or at least I had. He hadn’t gotten off, but he seemed more concerned that I was satisfied before I drifted off to sleep. Neither one of us had gotten a lot of rest, but it had been magical. Today, when I should have been drained and running on fumes, I feel invincible and energized. No other orgasm I’ve experienced had ever made me feel that way. What is it about the one Josh gave me? Why had his been different?

“Kenz.” Toby groaned in exasperation. Why did he sound so annoyed? Had he been trying to get my attention?

“Huh?”

Toby crosses his arms against his chest. “I know something is up. You went from smiling like a deranged clown to utter confusion. Now, are you going to tell me what’s going on?”

I don’t know. I’m not sure if I want to tell Toby what’s going on. It’s all still so new. Maybe it didn’t mean anything? For Josh anyway. For me, it was huge. In no time, I was already falling for the sweet, strong captain of the city’s professional hockey team. But telling Toby means it really happened, and I’m not sure I’m ready to admit that. Other than Stephanie, whom I suspect is dating the Chicago Steel’s coach, Toby is my closest friend and the one I share almost everything with.

“Come on, Kenz. Tell me what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours.” He side-eyes me, and my lips remain closed.

“If you won’t tell me, I’m just going to guess until I force you to say something,” he warns in a stern, take-no-prisoners tone. Again, I remain silent. Let’s see what he comes up with . “Did you forget to wash your hands before you baked everything today?” I roll my eyes, because we both know I am borderline neurotic with hand washing. “I got it. You’re planning to give me a large raise.”

“Toby,” I whine.

He claps his hands together. “Got you to talk. Now, what happened?”

Pushing the filled muffin tins to the center of the countertop, I look at him. “Aren’t you supposed to be out front helping the customers, not back here harassing me?”

He scoffs. “I came back to get the muffins, and Erica is watching the front. Now, spill.”

I lower my head, not wanting to make eye contact before I admit, “I’m not ready to talk about it.” I hear his sharp intake of breath. “Stop pushing, okay? I’m your boss, and right now I need you to do your job and take those muffins out front.”

Placing the strudel topping on the muffins before sliding them into the oven, I set the timer and go back to clean up my mess. While I’m scrubbing the counter, my mind drifts back to last night and I hesitate. Was it too fast? Was he just using me and he’ll walk away once he conquers me? Uneasiness settles heavily in my gut. That isn’t what’s going on, right? I’ve never dated a professional athlete before, and I’d be remiss to say I hadn’t heard a thing or two about famous people having relationship drama. Would that happen to us? Are we even in a relationship? Honestly, I don’t know. We haven’t had that talk, and even though I don’t believe Josh would treat me poorly, the things his ex spread across the internet about him roar their proverbial heads, giving power to them.

The rest of the day flies by and we give samples of the new ginger pear muffins to customers for their feedback. Overwhelmingly, they’re a big hit. One regular customer even preorders two dozen for their office for the upcoming week.

At three sharp, Josh walks into the kitchen. Even hunched over a cake with my focus completely on the piping I was doing, my body senses his presence. My heartbeat picks up and my skin tingles, as if someone is running a feather up and down my naked flesh. It tickles, but in a good way.

“Hiya, Kenzie.” His deep, rich baritone does things to me.

Looking up, I see a sweet smile dusting his lips. “Hi,” I say on a sigh. I sound like a love-sick fool.

Breaking the moment, Toby rushes in, thrusting a muffin at Josh. “You have to try these. They are divine. Tell all your friends.” Then he disappears back through the swinging doors.

Josh laughs. “He’s quite the salesman.” I smirk as he bites into the muffin. He doesn’t say anything until two bites later, when his hand is empty. “Babe, that is amazing.” I blush at the compliment.

He looks around the kitchen. “You already cleaned up?” I just nod while I finish the last details on the cake. Cleaning is my nervous habit. When I’m anxious about things, scrubbing helps distract me from my worries over Josh and me.

I carefully carry the cake over to the walk-in freezer and place it on a rack for the next day. Just as I’m exiting, Toby pops his head back through the doors. “Kenz, I called Mrs. Jackson to remind her about her cake pick up tomorrow. She’ll be in around three.”

“Thank you, Toby. I just finished it.”

Toby looks at Josh, then at me. “Are you two heading out?”

“I need—” Before I can even finish my thought, Toby jumps in.

“The front’s cleaned, the unsold items are boxed and ready for you, and the till is in the safe,” he hurries to say.

Consider me impressed. Guess he’s over whatever was up his ass earlier. “Thank you, Toby. I really appreciate it.” He shrugs his shoulders.

“It was nothing.” Then he pops back to the front and returns with two medium bakery boxes and hands them to Josh. “I’m assuming you’re going to help deliver these.” Josh smiles. accepts the boxes, and nods. Toby then strides over to me and wraps me in a big hug. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Josh stand taller and puff out his chest. And if looks could kill, Toby would be gone. What’s that about? Blissfully unaware, Toby pulls back and says to me. “You know I’m here if you need me. Anytime.”

“I know. Thank you.” He hugs me again before he leaves with a wave of his hand. I look over at Josh and he still looks like he’s upset and chewing rocks. “You okay?” I ask him.

Josh sets down the boxes and comes closer. “Are you and Toby involved?” His face is both serious and pained, like it hurt to even suggest that. I can’t help it, but I laugh. Josh’s face falls and my heart drops.

“I’m sorry I laughed… It’s just Toby and I are definitely not involved. He’s like the little brother I never had.” I pull his hand into mine to reassure him. “There is nothing going on between us.” He cocks his head sideways, as if questioning me.

“The way he looks at you, that hug, his promise to be there for you. Anytime .” He emphasizes that last part, and I smirk.

“Josh, Toby is not interested in me like that. Yes, we are close. He’s one of my best friends. But honestly, he’d be more interested in you than me.”

Josh’s mouth drops open. “He’s gay?”

I nod. “He is. Plus, I’m too hung up on this other guy to even notice anyone else.” He pulls his hand through his hair and I wrap my arms around him. Finally, he returns the hug and I’m being cocooned in his muscular arms. After a few moments, I tighten my arms and ask, “You ready to deliver some goodies?”

He grabs the boxes, and I lock up. Hand in hand, we walk a few streets over to the shelter I donate to. A few of the regulars wave hello.

Strolling back to my apartment, we’re both quiet. I’m rehashing my day. Everything from waking up next to Josh, my afternoon of worry over his feelings for me, and the fact he seemed threatened by Toby’s affection toward me. It’s enough to keep my head spinning with uncertainty. This woman needs some clarification, like yesterday. We need to talk before I’m willing to take things any further.

For dinner, I preheat the oven and pull a take-and-bake pizza from my fridge. “I’m going to change. Make yourself comfortable,” I tell Josh before heading back to my bedroom. Returning in a tank top and cotton shorts, I don’t miss the way Josh’s hungry eyes trace over my body. Everywhere his eyes travel, heat erupts, and in moments, I’m warm and toasty. I step closer and Josh pulls me into him.

He kisses my head, asking, “How was your day?”

I shrug in response.

He tips my head up, making eye contact. His baby blues are amazing. I could get lost staring into them. He blinks, then asks, “Is everything okay?” He pauses. “What was Toby talking about at the bakery?”

A flash of this afternoon pierces my brain, and my insecurities and worries come flooding back. Overwhelmed by it all, I pull back. Josh looks at me with concern. “I just had a weird afternoon.”

“What do you mean, weird? What happened?” he questions.

I wring my hands together, unsure how to bring it up.

He grabs my hands and cradles them in his much larger ones. “Please talk to me.”

Forcing a smile, I admit, “I got lost in my head a lot today.” His worry is evident on his face, and his eyes beg for more. “You see, when I don’t understand something, I spend a great deal of time thinking about it, trying to make sense of it, my feelings, what it all means.”

“Okay,” he says hesitantly. How do I explain this better?

Leading him over to my well-worn cloth couch, I sit down and then pat the cushion next to me. With our knees touching, I begin my explanation. “So last night happened… and it got me thinking. A lot.”

His eyes grow big and he sits up straighter. “Did I push you into doing something you weren’t ready for?”

I shake my head. “Everything we did was great. Actually, it was amazing. It felt incredible to wake up in your arms. But then I started asking myself questions.”

“What questions? Maybe I can help answer them.”

I smile despite my uncertainty. “I hope so.”

Josh offers a smile. “Lay them on me. I’ll do my best.”