Page 20 of Slashed By You (Chicago Steel #5)
Chapter 20
Kenzie
H e not only doesn’t believe it’s his baby, but he’s comparing me to Kayla. How could this have gone any worse? Replaying the words Josh spewed at me, my heart shatters. He didn’t believe me and he walked away. Cognitively, I get it. What Kayla did to him was reprehensible. And my heart screams in protest. I am not her. How could he even think I am? Apparently, he doesn’t think much of me. Did he even love me? How could he if he never really trusted me? Was he always waiting for the opportunity to pull away? Was anything we had, real? I’m kicking myself now. I knew it was a mistake to get involved with him, but he wore me down. Was it all an act?
Crushed, my weary body shakes as shock sets in. How am I going to do this, raise a baby by myself while running a bakery? Fear licks at my heart and my skin prickles with goose bumps. Tears saturate my vomit-stained shirt. Never could I imagine Josh would react like he did. Yes, I assumed he might be shocked, but once it sank in, I figured he’d be excited like I’ve become. True, I’ve had days to wrap my head around our news because of the all-day sickness and the occasional vomiting. Despite that, I’m thrilled. I just wish Josh felt the same.
My heart cracked when he accused me of cheating or trying to trap him like Kayla. In those moments, he was so angry, and I saw a new side of him. His voice was full of spite and nothing like the man I love—deliberate wounds left stamped on my heart as he stomped away.
My stomach churns and, for the first time in a week, I don’t blame the little bean in my uterus. Curling into a protective ball on my bathroom floor, I consider my options. There is no way I’m going to get rid of it. I’m not religious, but it just doesn’t feel right. I could have the baby and give it up for adoption, but that doesn’t sit well either. This is the last piece of Josh I will have and I can’t send it away. The only option that makes sense is to have the baby on my own.
More tears fall as I imagine raising our child without its father. I’m close with my parents, and I never doubted their love and support, but they live across the country. Our child… would only have me. The thought of that destroys me. My heart aches for my baby. I lay my hand on my abdomen, thinking about how a life was just beginning. And he just walked away. Hadn’t I proved I was nothing like his ex? I want to be strong and cling to the saying “his loss,” but it feels like more. It isn’t true. Both our child and I will suffer now that Josh isn’t going to be part of our lives.
I don’t know how long I stay curled up on the floor, but my cell phone rings incessantly. Go away. I don’t want to talk to anyone, but whoever it is keeps calling. I’m not planning to answer it, just shut it off.
Sitting up, I stretch out my legs. They’re stiff and achy. I rub at my puffy eyes, wincing at their tenderness. Pushing up to standing, my body feels heavy, like I’m carrying an extra twenty pounds. Slowly, I trudge out to the couch where I left my phone. Lifting the blankets, I can’t see it. Following the ringing, I discover it has slipped between the cushions, so I dig it out. There are quite a few missed calls and texts from Steph. What is so urgent? All I want to do is crawl into my blanket on the couch and forget about everything, but I have a nagging feeling I should find out why she’s been calling. Lowering myself to the couch, I select her contact and wait for her to answer.
“Kenz, are you okay?” Steph asks in a panicky voice when she answers.
Swallowing past the bolder in my throat, I do my best to hide any emotion in my voice when I answer, “I’m fine, why?” Liar.
Lowering her voice, she asks, “Because you don’t sound right and Tristan just got a really strange text from Josh. What is going on? Did you tell him about the baby?”
Grimacing, I recall my last few hours. “Why are you whispering?”
A few seconds go by before she answers. “I’m whispering because I didn’t tell Tristan you’re pregnant. I didn’t figure you wanted me to tell anyone. Was I right?”
How thoughtful. Fresh tears fall and I sniffle. “Yeah, you were right. I wanted to tell Josh first, but now that he knows, I definitely don’t want to tell anyone else,” I whimper.
“What? Why?” she squeaks.
I grab a tissue from my coffee table and wipe at my nose. “Well… he didn’t handle it well. He said some terrible things, proclaimed we were through, and stormed out.” It hurts to admit it, even to one of my best friends.
She huffs. “What did he say, Kenz?”
“I don’t want to tell you. I don’t want you to think poorly of him. He’s furious and said some things that he normally wouldn’t.”
Pausing for a moment, she hums to herself.
“What?” I ask.
“Did it have to do with Kayla, that awful puck bunny he used to date?”
My stomach sinks. “No. Why would you ask about her?”
“Hold on a sec,” she orders, and dread covers my body. “Tristan, can I see the text from Josh again? I have Kenzie on the phone and I want to tell her what it says.”
A deep voice answers, “Are you sure about this, Steph?”
“Yes, she needs to know.” Her answer makes my stomach churn, and I break out in a cold sweat.
“Steph, what does it say?” I beg.
“I’m sorry, Kenz,” she says before she murmurs the text. And the rest of my world crashes down around me.
Coach, I won’t be attending the Steel Your Heart gala in a few weeks because Kenzie and I are no longer together. I need some space from her. I discovered she was worse than Kayla, and I don’t want to make a scene at such an important event. Management can fine me any amount or come up with another punishment, but I won’t be there.
“I need to go,” I say before hanging up. Josh will never believe me. How, in a matter of weeks, has my life gone from perfect to ruined?