Page 24 of Slashed By You (Chicago Steel #5)

Chapter 24

Kenzie

I t’s finally Sunday and my blessed day off. I slept in until seven and I feel like a new woman. I indulge in an extra-long shower. I use the new lotion my mom sent me—it promises to reduce stretch marks if used regularly during pregnancy. We shall see.

Never being around a lot of pregnant women, I wasn’t sure how my body would change. Obviously, I realized my belly would grow, but I was unprepared for how pregnancy would make me feel. From the heaviness to my now tear-shaped breasts to the ever-growing curve of my stomach. My hair is thicker and my face has gotten fuller. I even notice a sprinkling of freckles have popped up on my cheeks. It’s hard to describe, but I feel more feminine than I ever have in my life.

My primary focus is on my baby and my bakery. Even though I’m doing it alone, I still count myself blessed. I’m feeling calm as I find my way back to my happiness. Toby and I are planning to go to the market today to pick up some fresh vegetables for the week ahead. Stepping to my closet, I pull out a pair of well-worn denim overalls. “These will be great as my belly gets bigger,” I tell myself as I rub my stomach.

A short while later, there’s a knock at my front door, and I finish tying my hair up in a paisley-patterned bandana before I answer.

“Toby,” I say as I answer.

He cackles. “Dressed for the farmer’s market, I see.”

“Hilarious.” Sticking out my tongue, I rub my belly. “I wanted to be comfortable, and other than the leggings I wear every single day, none of my other pants fit.”

“Do we need to go shopping? I mean, you look adorable. But I’m always down for clothes shopping. You say the word, and I’m your man.” I can’t help but laugh. Toby is my favorite. He has been such a source of strength these past few months. I wouldn’t have made it without him.

Pulling him into a hug, I say, “I know. You are the best, but it’s not in my budget.”

“If you change your mind, let me know. In the meantime, are you ready to go to the market? I’m driving, right?”

Before we’ve even left the parking lot, we’re rocking out to Toby’s amazing playlist. After about twenty minutes of driving, right when we should arrive, I look out the window and realize this isn’t the way to the market. “Toby, where are we going? Is there a new market out this way?” He shakes his head but doesn’t say anything else. My stomach turns. The only times I’ve ever been out here were when Josh brought me to his house. While we were dating, it was more practical to stay at my place, but occasionally, we ventured out into the suburbs and headed this same way. We can’t be going to Josh’s, right?

“Toby,” I fret, the panic rising in my voice as I clutch the door, willing the car to stop.

“Kenz,” he answers, as if nothing is wrong.

Something is definitely wrong if he’s taking me to Josh’s house. My mind spins. Maybe we’re going somewhere else. I mean, it’s not like they’re friends and are arranging some sort of meet up. No. Toby knows how badly Josh hurt me, and there is no way he would force me to see him. That assurance melts away the closer and closer we get. I need to get out of here now. I’m not ready to see him. I’m still hurt.

Running my fingertips along the door handle, I question whether I could jump from the car safely when he turns at a stop sign. I’m pregnant. Scratch that. Feeling desperate, I shout, “Stop the car!”

Startled, Toby slams on the brakes and we both get a kiss of whiplash as the car fishtails. I’m glad we were only going twenty-fives miles an hour, or I’d probably be nursing a migraine along with my sudden-onset panic attack.

“Kenz, what’s the matter? You don’t look too good,” Toby says. No shit, Sherlock.

“You, my best friend, are taking me to see the man who stomped on my heart and ordered me and our baby out of his life. Right?” I blow out an exasperated breath. “Of course I don’t look good. I can’t breathe, I’m sweating like a hog, and I think I’m going to hurl.”

Moving the car over to the side of the road, he parks and switches the air conditioning to high. Soon, blessed cool air is power blasting me from his dashboard. After a few minutes, I feel better. That is until I remember where we are.

“Why are we here, Toby?” I growl.

Giving me a sheepish smile, he confesses how Josh caught him at the shop a few days ago and confessed everything. What? I don’t understand. He didn’t want to be a part of our lives. He accused me of cheating. Those were his words. He yelled them at me right before he stormed off. Now I’m supposed to forget that and pretend that everything is forgotten? Oh, hell no. His words devastated me then, and they still sting now. I’ve moved on. I am committed to raising my son by myself. I don’t need anything from him. Wait, why is this even an issue? He was adamant the baby wasn’t his. Chaotic feelings and thoughts invade every part of my brain, tormenting me. Josh admitted to Toby that he knew my baby was his.

“He acknowledges the baby is his?” I ask, shocked, unsure what to do with that information.

Toby nods his head. “He desperately wants to be part of his life.” I wince. Josh has flipped Toby. That hurts, but not as much as thinking Josh only wants to be a part of the baby’s life.

“He wants to be part of our child’s life, but not mine?” I question on a sob.

Toby shakes his head. “No, he wants both of you. But he doesn’t think you’ll ever forgive him. I’m screwing this all up. Can’t I just take you there and let him explain?” I don’t know if I can do this.

Nervously, I twist my hands together in my lap. As if Toby can read my mind, he reaches over, settles them and says, “Kenz, you are the strongest woman I know. You are full of love and compassion. You forgive and give others a second chance. Josh sees that, and he knows he hurt you beyond belief. He just wants a chance to apologize. Will you give him that?” I look at Toby with tears in my eyes. Can I do that? Fear and worry swirl in my mind. “If you say so, I’ll take you home right now and Josh can figure out another way. That’s on him. I want you to be ready.” He squeezes my hand, and a single tear falls down my cheek. I swipe it away.

“I’m ready. Let’s get this over with.”