Page 31

CHAPTER 30

GRADY

J ill had mentioned something called an anxiety hangover once. I wasn’t sure what she meant, and maybe it wasn’t the same as the headache and nausea I felt when I woke up the next morning, but I imagined it was pretty close. I felt like I’d been hit by a truck, but all the scars were on the inside.

When I’d woken up before her, I’d laid motionless. She was still draped over me, her soft breath against the back of my neck. Holding me as close as she could, unwilling to let me stay alone in the dark place I’d gotten used to.

I’d assumed I was going to my grave with that story, the shame and guilt I felt serving as a deserved penance for what I’d done out in that water. But the way Jill had looked at me, the way she’d refused to believe I was a monster . . . I’d borrow her conviction until I had some of my own, but it felt a little like being set free. And as much as I might still doubt I deserved that freedom, I wanted it.

I wanted it as much as I wanted her.

If I wasn’t going to my grave with that horrible truth in my head anymore, I sure as shit was going to it with the image of Jill riding my cock. Her sitting in my lap and grinding her pussy into me as she moaned my name. Yep, that was a permanent fixture in my memory bank from now on.

“Please tell me I didn’t talk in my sleep,” Jill’s soft, scratchy voice came over my shoulder, shoving my reverie aside.

I laughed. “Not that I heard.”

“Good. ‘Cause you do.”

I turned over, climbing on top of Jill before she could squirm away, a giggle rising out of her as I pinned her beneath me. “Oh yeah? What’d I say?” Given the disclosure she’d already heard after my nightmare, I didn’t think anything worse could have come out of my mouth.

“Well, you have very questionable taste in pizza toppings,” she said, biting her lip as she spun her lies. “Something about sardines. Ew .”

The light coming from the window danced in her eyes as much as her humor and I bent to nip at her ear. “You’re full of shit, gorgeous. I don’t even eat sardines.”

“Are you sure? Cause you really wanted a lot of them on your pizza last night.”

She saw me coming as I went to tickle her, pitching up and rolling out of my hold. I imagined having two older brothers probably helped her hone her evasion skills, but I marveled at her anyway when she bounced up off the bed and threw her hands up in triumph. She was still wearing my shirt and the sight of her in it did things to me. Things I’d never felt before, along with things we didn’t have time for.

Checking my phone, I sighed. “If we’re going to make it back in time, we better get going.”

She eyed me for a second, trying to read me. “We can do brunch with Joey and LeAnn another time. If you don’t feel like it?—”

Popping off the bed, I stalked toward her. “I’m fine.” I twisted a strand of her hair around my finger, my eyes on it instead of meeting her questioning gaze. “I’m not sure what to think about last night—the nightmare and everything, I mean,” I clarified quickly, catching her nod with understanding that I wasn’t conflicted about us at all.

“But I feel . . . better?” I looked at the ceiling trying to find the right words. “I mean, I think I can get past it. With time.”

Jill’s fingers traveled up my chest, her palm resting on my heart, drawing my eyes back down to her. “You will. You just have to let it happen.”

“I’ll try,” I told her, pressing her hand harder into me, as if I could take her warmth and sweetness and keep it there for when I needed it.

While I was checking us out, Jill went to drop her stuff in her car, but she wasn’t there when I went to find her. Looking around the motel, puddles dotting the parking lot and the gutters still dripping, I found her over by the garden that lined the path to the pool.

“Thinking about taking a dip?” I asked, startling her when I came up from behind.

“No, just admiring the flowers. They’ve got so many different kinds.”

I stood behind her, my arms circling her waist as I rested my chin on her shoulder. “Which is your favorite?”

She canted her head to the side, looking among the thick hedge of blooms. But then she shook her head. “I don’t know that I have one.”

Jill had a vegetable garden at her cottage with a few marigolds around, but it was nothing like this. Yet somehow looking at the overflowing color, the tall stalks rising up toward the sun like they were stretching for the light, it reminded me of her. Bright and strong, rooted and growing, all at once.

“You should pick a favorite,” I said, taking her hand when she turned back to the parking lot.

She chuckled, tilting her smiling face up to me. “Why?”

“‘Cause then I’ll know which ones to get you.”

I wasn’t kidding, but she erupted with laughter anyway. I doubted Asshole had ever gotten her flowers, and maybe no man ever had. But if there was ever a woman who deserved pretty, vibrant things around her, it was Jill.

I followed her back to Holden Cove and we were walking toward the diner when I got a text from Joey. I stopped short to read it.

Joey: At the hardware store.

I shook my head, showing Jill, who looked slightly less amused than me at the change in plans.

Grady: On our way

“He’s always up to something,” Jill muttered, letting me take her hand as we turned in the other direction.

“Well, it can’t be that bad,” I joked. “If he’s still planning on killing me, he already has a shovel to bury my body.”

The side-eye Jill gave me only made me laugh harder, so I tugged her toward me, bringing her hand to my lips. It was subtle, but things were different now. There was an ease between us, as if what had happened—what had finally happened—had shifted things. It was a good shift, like the last barrier had been knocked down and now all that was left was to enjoy each other.

Seeing Jill naked, watching her face crumble as pleasure ripped through her body—those were the exact kinds of things I should not be thinking about as we walked up to her brother in the lumber section of the local home improvement store. One look at Jill, and Joey was mean-mugging me like he knew I’d fucked her senseless.

“Oh, thank goodness,” LeAnn sighed, wrapping Jill in a tight hug. “You can help settle this.”

I shook Joey’s hand, his grip comically tight as he muttered hello. For all his help the other night with Adam, he still wasn’t quite ready to see me with his sister. I shouldn’t have laughed at that, but I did. And his glare told me he knew exactly what I found so funny.

“I don’t think I want to get in the middle again,” Jill said, warily eyeing her brother as LeAnn pointed to their cart.

“But he picked out fire truck wallpaper,” she moaned, holding up the roll of cartoon fire trucks on a gray background. Little bear firemen with ladders and hoses smiled brightly as they worked to put out orange and gold flames. “The poor kid is going to have nightmares about the house burning down around him.”

Jill tucked her hand back in mine and squeezed, but her eyes were on her sister-in-law. “Who even makes wallpaper like that?”

“Well,” Joey grumbled, “they don’t make police officer ones.”

Jill cackled, earning her an absolutely scathing stare from Joey. “Bro, come on. That’s ridiculous, even for you.”

“What’s wrong with that?” he mumbled, taking the paper from LeAnn and walking away from us to put it back.

I coughed, trying to hide my laughter as I let Jill’s hand go and followed him.

“Hey, how’s the renovation checklist going?” I asked, falling into step beside him.

He glanced over at me, blowing out a breath. “You heard about that?”

It hadn’t seemed like a secret I should have kept, so I shrugged. “Yeah, Jill mentioned you’re getting a lot done before the baby. If you need help, I’m happy to come swing a hammer or something.” I was better with tools than Joey, but I wasn’t going to say that and poke the bear any further.

He stopped in front of the wallpaper display, shoving the roll back in the holder. “Yeah, sure. I’ve got to get some new kitchen cabinets installed in a couple of weeks. I could use an extra set of hands.”

A relieved sigh rushed out of me. “Happy to, just text me when you’re ready.”

He nodded, pausing when he went to turn and walk away. “The Adam thing is cleared up. He’s not going to do anything about it.”

It was probably a sign of arrogance that I hadn’t thought about Adam pressing charges for a single second after we’d walked away that night. Or maybe I just knew Joey would have my back.

“Thanks. I appreciate your help.” I was about to say I wouldn’t let Adam push my buttons like that again, but I knew the truth; if he came near Jill again it wasn’t likely I’d be any more controlled. I was trying, but fucking with her meant fucking with me, and I might have wished I was better at just walking away—but I wasn’t. Not where she was concerned.

“I just wish the dick would go back to his hot shot job out west. Him being here . . . she doesn’t need that.”

It would have been foolish to argue with Joey about it, but from where I stood Jill was doing better than he gave her credit for. Adam was a sore spot, sure, but she wasn’t on the brink of losing it anymore. I could see that. I think LeAnn saw it too. But I wished her brother had the same kind of faith in her.

As we headed back I spotted something out the side doors, and stopped short. “I’ll be there in a sec,” I said, moving for the garden center with a grin on my face as Joey waved and went back to where we’d left the girls.

Outside under the harsh late-July sun were hundreds of plants, most of them flowering. An array of colors and shapes lined the tables the full length of the store and I started pulling one after the other. My arms got so full I had to grab a cart, loading it up until I couldn’t fit anymore.

“What on earth?” Jill said, coming up beside me with a confused look on her face. “Grady, have you lost it? Is this your cry for help?”

Smartass . “No.” I bumped her with my shoulder. “This is your menu.”

She turned to face me, squinting into the sun as her lips pressed into a line. “Excuse me?”

A bushy plant with dark green leaves and bright red flowers caught my eye, and I plucked it from the pallet on the table to add to the rest. “You need to pick, so I’m giving you an assortment to choose from.”

She turned back to the flowers, the pieces falling into place as she shook her head at me. “I could just spend some time at a florist. Or looking online. This is nuts.”

“Nope,” I said, brushing my knuckles across her cheek as she stared up at me. “You shouldn’t be rushed into this. Take your time, enjoy them.”

Why I wanted her to have a favorite flower was a bit of a mystery even to me. But I liked the idea of planting these all around her house. Hoping they’d linger, adding color to her life for years to come.

Jill’s expression softened sweetly. “You don’t have to do this.”

I leaned down to kiss her, stroking her neck as she tilted up on her toes to get closer. “I want to.”

She was blushing when I let her go, and it filled my chest with a warmth like nothing else.

“ Ahem .” Joey cleared his throat behind me and I smirked down at her.

“Busted.”

“If I say I’m famished , would that be too obvious?” she whispered, giggling to herself like ratting me out to her brother was the funniest thing ever.

“Shit stirrer,” I mumbled, spinning her toward the register before her snickering got even more under Joey’s skin. We had a nice brunch planned, I wanted to enjoy it.