Page 22

CHAPTER 21

JILL

G rady telling me to let myself in when I got to his house to ride together to our next event was the first notable shift in our ‘relationship’ since the other night. He’d texted to let me know Joey had been informed, but he’d offered no other details and I wasn’t sure if I should ask.

Grady might have felt guilt for screwing around with his friend’s little sister, but I had my own for getting between them. Joey didn’t have a ton of friends—hazard of his job—so losing Grady, especially over me, felt particularly senseless.

“Hello?” I called, poking just my head inside the door.

“Come on up.” His voice had come from atop the wide central staircase of his parents’ gorgeous colonial home. I’d only been inside once before, to go to some holiday party my whole family had been invited to. Half the town had been invited. It was the last Christmas Grady was home before heading out to Michigan. I’d hunkered in the corner, desperately trying to watch him and my brother with their friends, but not let them catch me looking.

The smooth dark wood of the banister slid under my hand, the cool feel of it in stark contrast to the nervous sweat starting to mist the skin at the back of my neck. I wasn’t sure what I was nervous about exactly, but as I climbed the stairs my feet slowed.

“Grady?”

“Hey,” he said, popping only his shoulders out of one of the open doorways. “I’m still getting dressed, but I am, in fact, awake. So, I feel like I haven’t totally broken my promise.” His hair was still wet, pushed upon on one side and slicked down on the other. “Come on in.”

I couldn’t tell if he was wearing anything, so when he disappeared again I stayed where I stood. After a second he popped around the corner again.

“Jill?”

“Are you decent?” I cringed at how stupid I sounded, my cheeks going nuclear.

He pursed his lips together, clearly holding in a laugh. “You want me to be?”

His playful tone helped lower my shoulders from where they’d crept up by my ears. I huffed out an exasperated sigh. “We can’t be late.”

Finally he stepped out onto the landing with me and I saw the pair of dress slacks he was wearing. But as relieved as I was by the sight of them, I was immediately distracted by the purple bruise on his shoulder, and another on his side.

“Grady!” I lurched forward, my fingers gentle on his arm as I turned him so I could get a better look. “What the hell happened?”

His beautiful, sculpted body, like one of those busts you see in museums, was marred by discolored skin and a series of shallow scrapes. It might have added to the appeal in some other woman’s eyes, but I’d seen Grady hurt too much lately. I knew what his face looked like when he grimaced, and that’s what I pictured as I took in the harsh marks and what it had to have felt like to get them.

When he didn’t answer me I looked up to find him smiling, wide, soft eyes taking me in before he reached for my hand. “I’m fine. You’ve never seen a hockey player naked before, have you?”

I started to reply, but froze as he brought my hand to his lips and kissed each knuckle one by one, grinning as he went. A swirl in my belly pitched over, spilling heat and jitters and something else I was pretty sure I’d never felt before.

“You’re cute when you’re worried,” he whispered, leaning in for a quick kiss before jerking his head toward the bedroom for me to follow.

I did, scanning the room that opened up before me. Pale green walls, an oak bed with a muted gray comforter neatly spread across it. Grady made his bed? I don’t know why I’d thought of him as more of the “kick off the covers and go” kind of guy. Along two walls were bookcases packed full of books and sports memorabilia. Most was hockey related, of course. But there were a couple of old signed baseballs, and a racket of some kind. On the opposite wall was a collection of sports quotes, which I could tell were sports quotes because each one was by a coach.

Grady had slipped into the en-suite bathroom, and I heard him at the sink. Following him, I leaned on the doorway. But the sight of the bruises in the brighter light only made my stomach twist more.

“Seriously, that happened in a pickup beer league?” Those guys were supposed to be playing for fun, right? Grady should never have gone if he was going to risk getting hurt again.

He finished putting product in his hair, batting it around with his hands for two seconds and turning to me looking more polished than I’d have been with an hour of hard labor by a team of hairdressers.

“This is nothing. I’ve taken way worse hits.”

There was something about his smile, the way he kept avoiding telling me exactly what happened. All of the sudden the truth hit me and I felt like a complete idiot for not realizing it sooner. “Joey did that to you, didn’t he?”

I crossed my arms over my chest, a familiar feeling pumping through me. My brother was really taking this too far.

Grady shook his head, coming toward me and pulling me into him. He spoke into my hair. “He had every right to be pissed. If it were Lexi, I’d be pissed too.”

“Then you’d both be morons,” I said, carefully shoving him off me. “Lexi’s not a child either.”

“It’s not about you being younger than me.” He strode over to his closet and yanked a collared shirt from a hanger. “It’s that we’re guys, we know guys, and what guys want, and what we do. And no matter how much you have a right to live your own life, Joey knows how I’ve lived mine.”

“You’ve slept with other women, big whoop. No wonder he called me this morning. Now I’m definitely not answering.”

He laughed, his eyes on me as he buttoned his shirt. “Your brother just cares about you.” His smile dimmed, and he lowered his head. “He’s worried about how this whole thing ends.”

A pang of fresh guilt hit me, because I knew exactly what Joey was worried about. But I wasn’t in the same place anymore, and I needed him to stop waiting for the other shoe to drop. It only added to the pressure for me to keep up the appearance I was fine. Which, at the moment, was actually true.

When Grady looked back up at me, I could tell whatever Joey said had rattled him. “You changing your mind?”

His scowl was immediate. “Fuck no.”

“Good,” I sighed.

With slow steps he closed the distance between us, and my body got hot again the closer he got. “I do want to make one thing clear, though.”

“Oh?” I raised my eyebrows, relishing the way my body reacted to his. It was like fireworks every time Grady got within touching distance, and now I had the green light to act on my impulses. I dragged a finger down the front of his body, his jaw clenching in response. I bit my lip, the pull to him so strong I was starting to worry we were about to miss an event for the first time.

“I’m not just going to sleep with you, Jill.”

If it hadn’t been for the dark glimmer in his eye, I might have dropped my hand and stepped back. But instead I waited for him to explain.

“This isn’t just about getting off. Not for me, at least.” He licked his lips, my eyes glued to the motion as if it was my own mouth he was skimming. “We’re doing everything. All the dating shit people do. Dinners. Movies. The fair.”

“The fair ?” I hadn’t been to the county fair since I was nine and the ride I was on had malfunctioned, leaving me pinned half upside down for an hour when I really had to pee.

“Yes,” he chuckled, skimming the backs of his knuckles along my jaw. “And anything else you want to do. We’re going to have fun,” he paused, his eyes tracing my features.

“And then?”

“And then I’m going to fuck you brainless, smarty pants.”

A guffaw burst out of me and he swooped in for a kiss, as if the sound of my laughter turned him on. Was that a thing? His tongue licked across my lips, just like I’d imagined a moment ago and when I opened to let him in, he groaned, gripping my hair harshly before he pulled himself back. He glanced down at his watch and shook his head. We were going to be late.

“Well, I’m not going to be much help in this whole dating operation,” I said as we headed down the stairs. “I never really dated.”

He was a step behind me, but paused when we got to the door. “What do you mean? You never went on dates? Not even with Asshole?”

I enjoyed that Adam didn’t even get a name anymore. That suited me just fine. I shook my head. “Not really. We went to dinner a couple of times, maybe. He never liked the places I suggested and he liked staying in so we were alone.”

So he could control what we ate and say whatever he wanted to me without the risk of someone overhearing his manipulations and put-downs, I thought. But I didn’t need to say that because Grady was glaring at me over the roof of his car and I knew he saw right through me.

“That’s good.” He sniffed, tapping the roof with a satisfied smile. “I like it better knowing I’ll have some of your firsts.”

A warm tingling sensation worked through my chest as we climbed inside and got on the road. Why Grady was so invested in this being about more than just sex, I wasn’t sure. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy his enthusiasm.

“Here,” he said, handing me a small camera—effectively killing whatever buzz I’d been feeling. “Open that back screen and take some video of me driving us to the event.”

I stared at the camera, resting awkwardly on my open hand. When I didn’t move, Grady’s head whipped my way.

“Come on, we both need to practice. Let’s go.” He nudged my arm, careful not to send the thing flying since I was still barely holding it. “Give it a shot.”

My fear of attention very much included being on camera, so I’d spent most of my life avoiding them. I’d never considered being on the other side of the lens, but as long as it kept me out of the frame, I was willing to at least attempt this silly idea of his. Especially when his smile lit up the entire car. A beaming Grady was hard to deny.

I spent the rest of the ride getting shots of him driving, learning how to zoom in and out. I took some “b-roll”—as he called it—of the landscape as we drove across the long rolling hills, farm land and pasture billowing out on both sides until we got to the community center we were reading in.

The local gym had been filled with mats for the kids to sit on, while the parents packed the rickety wooden bleachers. People had driven in from hours away to see Grady and watching him soak up the appreciation they had for him reminded me of why we were doing this. Why he was the best one to do this.

After the reading he took the camera from me and I flinched.

“Just a few shots of you doing your thing.” He winked, aiming the lens my way right before a swarm of kids came up to ask about more books in the series he’d read from.

I forced myself to focus on their eager faces, on the parents asking me to spell the author’s name so they could type it into their phones for later. One little girl spoke so softly I had to get down on one knee to hear her. When she told me a knock-knock joke, instead of asking a question, I was caught off guard and laughed a little too loudly. But she loved it, and so did her grandma who was giggling with us.

Up until then, the reading program had felt like a distraction, like something we were doing for the wrong reasons. But for the first time it all gelled and as we said our goodbyes, and I climbed back into Grady’s car, I felt a kind of contentment I hadn’t in a long time.

“You have plans tonight, Jilly?” Grady asked, his eyes flicking over to me.

Still riding my good mood, I decided to have a little fun with him. Sighing dramatically, I said, “Yeah, actually. I’m hitting that new rave spot in Old Orchard with my motorcycle gang.”

Grady nodded, smirking without even looking over. “I see. Shame. I was going to see if you wanted to get dinner with a couple of friends. But that whole thing sounds much more exciting. Maybe you’ll even get into a bar fight?” He glanced my way, humor curling his full, lush mouth. “Break a bottle over someone’s head or something.”

“Sounds like me.” I rested my head back casually, even though inside I was squirming at the thought of a double date with Grady. “Who’d you have in mind, just out of curiosity?”

When he reached his hand across the console and gave my thigh a squeeze I watched his veiny hand with rapt attention, the tendons on his forearm rippling with the motion. He was so good at this, so comfortable. “Just Cory and his wife, Skylar. He’s been on me to meet up with him, and I thought it might be fun.”

“And they can make plans this last minute?” I looked at the clock on the dash, it was after three. I knew they had their little boy, Micah, and no one gets a babysitter on such short notice these days.

Grady’s hand skimmed further up my thigh, distracting me. “It just so happens to be their scheduled date night.”

“Oh no, I’m not crashing their date night. I don’t need Skylar hating me.” She was new to town, but she’d gotten involved right away, so I knew who she was. Strong, kind, determined. She used to ride motocross, too, and I didn’t have any doubt she was probably very good.

Grady laughed, his eyes sparkling when he caught mine for a long second. “It was her idea. I told Cory about us last night, and she suggested we meet up.”

In all the times I’d let my mind wander to what it would be like to actually be with Grady—to touch him the way I wanted, to let him have his way with me—I’d put almost no thought into our interactions beyond that. Apparently, my mind had existed entirely in the gutter, because going out to dinner, or on a real date with him had never crossed my dirty, dirty mind.

“We can just get a drink with them and then do our own thing, if you want? Give you plenty of time to hit that rave on your Harley.”

When I rolled my eyes, he reached for my hand and pulled it into his lap. I appreciated how hard he was working to help me feel comfortable. All this was so new to me, but seemed like second nature to him. Normally that would have made me want to pull back, to make him meet me where I was. But instead my inclination was to do the opposite.

“Okay. Let’s do it.”

He whipped my way, an eager shock on his face. “Really?”

“Just as long as you don’t spend the whole night hashing about motocross and hockey. I don’t want to be the only one at the table with no idea what you’re talking about.”

“No sports talk. I promise,” he said, kissing the back of my hand and giving me a wink. “This is going to be fun.”

It had to be the Grady Holloway effect in action, because somehow I found myself believing him.