Page 53 of Rhythm Of Our Souls (Heartbreak Melody #3)

He says nothing as he pulls me into his arms. I don’t fight him, letting him settle me on top of his chest. “Shhh,” he murmurs as he starts to purr. “Just sleep, baby.” He kisses the top of my head. “I got you.”

So I do.

For the next few weeks, every time I open my eyes, Lulu is there. She's the only one who refuses to leave my side.

Every day, they work hard to get me to eat just enough to keep me from dying. It was enough for the hospital to approve my going home. By the third week, I’m admitted to the hospital again.

I’ve never felt so broken and lost in my life. My mind and body want to give up, but my soul and heart are begging me to keep going. On the inside, I’m in pain from the violation that happened to me and the continuous hurt I’m causing my pack. On the outside, I’m just this shell of my old self.

It’s after visiting hours, so my pack is gone for the night, despite Lulu freaking out about staying with me. They let her stay an hour longer and will let her come back an hour before in the mornings, but that's all they would budge on.

Brady, Liam, Nate, and Lulu kissed me, promising they would be back tomorrow. Seeing the broken look in their eyes fucking kills me. Gavin begged me to fight, to come back to them, because seeing his brother and Omega hurt like that was killing him too.

I wanted to scream out for them to come back, to not leave me and instead hold me, never letting go.

But my fucking mouth wouldn’t work. My brain is fucking broken. I hate myself. I hate my body. I hate my fucking mental health.

They have me on new meds and are trying to get me back into therapy. But it’s hard when the person you're trying to help refuses to do anything.

I’m being wheeled back from getting blood work taken when I see someone familiar.

My brows furrow as I see someone pushing her in a wheelchair.

What is she doing here? Is she okay?

The nurse wheels me back to my room and helps me into bed.

I lay there for a long time, staring up at the roof as I fixate on why Maya would be here. Is she okay? Is the baby okay?

Eventually, I find myself getting to my feet and wandering around in search of my friend.

“You can’t be up and walking around, sweetie. Come back to bed,” one of my nurses tries to guide me back to bed.

The first bit of feeling I’ve had in weeks hits me as I yank my arm out of her hold. “No,” I growl. “I want to see my friend.”

Her eyes widen in surprise, probably because this is the first time she’s heard me talk.

“Your friend? Do you want me to call her?”

I shake my head. “I saw her earlier. Maya Danvers.”

“Oh,” she says. “Mrs. Danvers. Yes, she was admitted yesterday.”

“Is she okay?” I ask in a rush, dread filling me.

“Yes, she’s fine,” the nurse smiles. “She was admitted because she had her baby.”

“She did?” My voice cracks as tears fill my eyes. “Can I see her, please?”

“It’s late,” she says. “I don’t know.”

“Please!”

“Okay, okay,” she soothes. “Let’s go see if she's awake.”

The nurse takes me to Maya’s room, and by some miracle, she’s still awake.

“Maya, honey, I have someone here to see you. Are you okay if she comes in?” the nurse asks. Maya looks over, her eyes widening at the sight of me.

“Ally?” she questions, her voice filled with concern. “Yes, yes, let her in.”

I rush over to Maya, a wave of emotion crashing over me as I climb into her bed and let her hold me as I break.

She might be Lulu’s best friend, but she’s quickly become one of mine, too. Between working with her on her movie, then all the hours on video calls with her and Lulu, she’s become someone very important to me.

“Well, we’ll be back,” I hear Phoenix say. I didn’t even see anyone else in the room when I came in.

“Oh, Ally, honey.”

“Everything is so fucked up,” I cry, body shaking with sobs.

“I know, hun, I know.”

We lay like that for a long time, just the two of us. She tells me all about her new baby girl, Layla.

And I tell her all about everything that's been eating at me. All my fears and pain.

“Ally?” Maya starts.

“Mhm?” I blink over at her.

“Is it worth it?”

“Is what worth it?” My brows furrow.

“The money. The fame. Is it worth it?” she asks seriously.

“The biggest reason why I keep myself hidden from the world is because I know how evil it can be. I could never live the life you have. And I’m in awe of how you’ve handled everything so far.

But now, at this point in your life, after everything you've been through. Is it worth it?”

“I... I don’t know,” I admit.

“Have you thought about taking a break?” she asks. “From all of it, just a few years, while you enjoy your new pack. Maybe live without the pressure of the popstar life and just enjoy it for once.”

“I have,” I answer, looking away. “More than I’m proud to admit.”

“It’s okay.” She takes my hand. “It's okay to admit it’s too much. For not wanting this life anymore.”

“But is it?” I ask, tears filling my eyes. “I have everything anyone could ever want, and here I am acting like a spoiled brat.”

“You are not,” she replies sternly. “You are only human. And your mental health matters most. You can’t keep going like this if it’s going to eat away at you.”

“Yeah,” I sigh, laying my head against her shoulder. “I know.”

The fact of the matter is that I don’t want to be in the spotlight right now. I don’t want to be followed. I don’t want strangers having access to me. And I shouldn’t need to have a team of guards following me around to make sure I’m safe.

At first, this career was the ultimate dream. And it was amazing until... it wasn’t. After I met Nate, things got so much better. And for a while, I thought I was okay. That this life would be fine.

Then Lulu, Brady, and Gavin came into my life and showed me that there’s more to it than working myself to the bone.

I love singing, it will always be a part of me.

But people grow and things change.

I’ve changed.

And now I have a lot to think about.

Whispering has me blinking my eyes open. It takes a second to see that I’m not in my room. Looking over, I see Maya with a baby on her chest.

“Shit,” I groan, moving to sit up. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

“It’s okay,” she laughs. “You needed it.”

“Hey,” Lulu’s voice has my eyes snapping over to see her sitting next to Maya on the bed.

“Lulu?” I blink a few times before my eyes fill with tears.

She gives me a watery smile. “I was worried when I came to see you this morning and you weren't in your bed. Then the nurse surprised me by telling me you were here with Maya,” she laughs, wiping at her eyes. “She had her baby,” Lulu says in awe, staring down at the little human in Maya’s arms.

I get a good look at the sweet girl. She’s so innocent and pure. The real world has not yet left its mark on her.

I want that someday. A family. But the idea of them growing up in the world I live in scares me.

“She’s beautiful.” I smile down at the baby for a moment before getting out of bed.

“Where are you going?” Lulu rushes over to me.

“I’ll be right back. There’s something I need to do.”

“What?” Her brows furrow. “Right now?”

“Do you trust me?” I ask, cupping her face.

“Yes. Of course.”

“I’m so fucking sorry for everything I put you through,” I apologize, pulling her into my arms.

“I’m just happy to see you snap out of that funk. You really fucking scared me, Ally.”

“I know, baby. I’m so sorry. I’m gonna do whatever I can to get better, okay? I promise I’m not gonna give up anymore.”

“Please don’t,” she sobs. “I don’t want to be on this earth if I don’t have you next to me.”

“You won’t ever have to.” I pull back and kiss her hard. “I’m not going anywhere, baby. I promise.”

She nods, sniffing as she wipes at her eyes.

“I’ll be back, okay?”

She nods, and I give her one more kiss before leaving the room and heading back to mine. I find my phone on the table by my bed.

“Hey,” I say when the person on the other end answers. “Can you guys come to the hospital? We need to talk.”

“Are you sure?” Skyler asks, brows furrowed with concern.

I nod, sitting crossed-legged on my bed. “I am. I need to do this.”

Tyson blows out a breath. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

“I’m not going away forever,” I laugh. “But I do need to take a step back from this life. I don’t think I can mentally handle it anymore.”

“We want you to be happy and healthy. And if that means leaving the band and Hollywood altogether, then do it. We’ll be okay.”

“I want you to find a new singer,” I surprise them by saying.

“What?” Skyler shakes his head. “No fucking way.”

“Yes. Because you guys are amazing at what you do. You were born for this world. And I’d never ask you to give it up.”

“But...” Ryker tries to protest.

“Please? For me. I want to see you guys thrive. Just make sure whoever replaces me is a good person. Or we’re gonna have beef.”

They laugh, and for the next little while we talk. With every decision I make, I feel lighter. And by the time they leave, I know I made the right choice.

“Hey, you.” Liam greets, leaning against the door of my hospital room.

My eyes snap over to him.

I’m off the bed and flinging myself into his arms in the blink of an eye. “I’m so fucking glad you're okay.” Liam holds me tightly.

“I’m so fucking sorry for everything,” I apologize, breaking down all over again. The tears are welcomed, though. It’s a hell of a lot better than feeling like a numb robot.

“Don’t. Don’t you apologize.” He shakes his head.

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Nate says, stepping into the room.

“Nate,” I cry, my voice cracking. I throw myself into his arms, and he buries his face in my neck.

“You had me so fucking worried, Kitten. Never do that again. Please.”

“I won’t,” I promise. “I’m gonna do whatever it takes to get through this. Take whatever meds they want me to, talk to whoever they need me to talk to. I won’t hurt you guys anymore. I’ve done enough of that.”

“Shhh.” Liam hugs both of us. “We’re going to be right by your side no matter what.”

“We need to talk.” I look up at both of them. They look worried but nod.

And then I fill them in on my plan.

Two days later, I’m standing outside of the Steel Devils MC compound.

I’m vibrating with excitement, feeling a million times better than before as the gates open up.

Brady, Gavin, and Lulu are there waiting just on the other side.

“What's this?” Brady asks as he gets an eyeful of the moving trucks behind me.

“Any chance you want some new roomies?”

“What?” Lulu’s eyes widen in surprise. “This is what you’ve been so secretive about?”

“Yup,” I laugh. “I’ve been ironing out all the details with Nate. Working on how to tell the world that I’m... well, I’m leaving the showbiz industry.”

“And you're coming here?” Gavin asks, brows raised with a smirk.

“Wait. You're leaving? Like acting, singing?”

“The whole works.”

“What? Why?” Lulu shakes her head. “No, you can’t do that. You can’t leave your life just for us. No, we can make this work somehow.”

“Hey.” I cup her face. “Breathe.”

She blinks at me, tears filling her eyes.

“I’m doing this because I need to. I don’t want that life anymore, Lulu.”

“You don’t?” she whispers.

“No, baby. I want to be here, with my pack. With you . I want to live a normal life in a house, building a family, not on the road, living out of a bus. I’ve been doing this for a long time, and I think—at least for now—I need to take a step back.

I’m still young. I want to enjoy my life while I have it.

I want to spend time with you, with the guys, and start a new journey here. ”

“And you two are okay with that?” Lulu asks Liam and Nate.

“I’m fine with wherever life takes me, as long as I have you girls and Nate by my side. And these guys, too, I guess,” Liam chuckles, nodding at Gavin and Brady.

“Same goes for me. I’m sure I’ll find something new and exciting to do, but for now, for now I’m perfectly happy with starting over.”

“You want to live on the compound?” Brady asks me, a smile lighting up his face.

“Damn right I do. It’s gonna be a bit of an adjustment, but I’m sure Lulu can help me fit into the Old Lady lifestyle, right?”

“Fuck yes,” she laughs, throwing her arms around me. “Are you sure? I don’t want to be the one to take this away from you.”

“Lulu, baby, you've never taken anything from me, only given. You’ve given me a best friend, a partner, a lover. A pack. You three coming into my life changed everything for the better. And now, I want to really experience pack life. My career will be there if I want to go back.” Maybe not the band, but I know I’ve built enough of a career to be welcomed back if I wanted to.

“But right now, I want to sleep in every morning with you in my arms and my guys at my back. I want to stay up late, laughing at stupid TV shows. I want to not have to worry about what I need to do every day, and just live. Just be. I want to heal without being under the spotlight. I want to be happy, loved, wanted, here , with all of you.”

“Yeah?” Lulu asks, her smile melting my heart.

“Yeah.”

“Well then.” Brady chuckles, a smile matching mine beaming on my Alpha’s face. “Welcome to the Steel Devils MC. Ready to be my Old Lady?”

“Mine too,” Lulu giggles.

“Yeah.” I smile at both of them. “I am.”

I’ll forever be grateful for the life I was given, for never having to want for anything in life. But that's my past, and my future is standing right here in front of me.

I can’t think of a better way to start a new adventure than to do so with my pack by my side.