Page 93 of Restitution

I slip my tongue between her lips, and my hand cups her cheek, sliding down to her throat and stilling when I get a flash of how many people died from me strangling them or snapping their necks.

I snatch my hand away at the visceral need to strangle her and fist it at my side as I pull away from her.

Did all the oxygen vanish in the room? Why can’t I breathe?

She sits up, her dark hair falling over her shoulders, and studies me as my lungs burn – my brain is fucking failing to work as my vision blurs. “Are you okay? You’ve gone pale.”

I try to sit up and attempt to breathe, but it’s like my mind isn’tconnecting with my body. There’s a ringing in my left ear, and I hear a gunshot go off.

Good boy.

Good boy.

Good boy.

Another gunshot goes off.

It makes me flinch, but I know it’s not real.

It’s never real now.

There’s a tingling sensation all over my body, and I feel like I’m falling. A big drop. I flinch again.

And again and again and again.

I can’t talk. I try to tell Stacey that everything’s going numb, but the words come out slurred. My vision blurs, and the last thing I hear is Stacey gasping as my body violently jerks before everything goes black.

29

STACEY

The deadly silence fills the cemetery as we walk slowly behind the black coffin, a spray of white roses on top. Luciella is beside me, holding my hand while she grabs her mother’s. They’re sobbing, wiping their tears away with a handkerchief.

I keep my eyes forward, the large umbrella above our heads keeping us dry from the downpour of torrential rain.

The group of people follows behind us, all in black, all silent except the whimpers full of sorrow. Dez and Tylar are right behind me. They arrived at the manor this morning, just in time for the service.

Other than whimpers, it’s so quiet, I can hear every drop of rain, every crack of thunder in the distance and Lu’s hyperventilatedhitches of air.

Kade and Ewan are carrying the coffin, along with four of Jason’s friends, and the funeral director is leading the way to a deep plot. It was reserved years ago for Ewan and Aria; no one knew Jason would be the first to fill it.

When we reach the plot, I glance behind me, the air nearly knocked from my lungs with how beautiful the view is, despite the rain. We can see the entire loch from here, the Munros crowding the sky – in the near distance is the manor surrounded by trees. During summer it will be a wonderful sight.

We gather around the hole in the ground, and my eyes stay on Kade, who is completely emotionless as he helps them lower Jason’s coffin onto the wooden slats covering the plot before dropping the ropes they’ll use to lower the casket.

Ewan is a mess. His eyes are red, and tears are soaking his cheeks as he audibly weeps for his son. He’s covering his mouth with one hand, the other on the casket.

His teeth chatter as he looks around everyone, his gaze finally landing on his wife. Aria reaches out and takes his hand, pulling him close, and he barely holds himself together, his body shaking in her hold.

Kade stands beside me, his stare blank as he looks at the grass way past the coffin. I notice the tension in his expression; he’s trying so hard to stay calm. He’s either going to break down in tears, or he’s going to break something or someone.

I try to take his hand, but he pulls away, and my heart sinks.

An older man in a long suit speaks of life and death, about Jason and how adored he was. He speaks of peace and love, until the words blur together like my vision, and I lower my head.

When he stops talking, he asks for the carriers to come forward again, and Jason’s favourite song – “The Woods” by Hollow Coves – plays as they slowly lower the casket into the grave.

Kade is still a statue – his movements almost robotic. His gaze is cold, unyielding, and he’s barely giving anyone attention. He isn’t even looking at the coffin – he’s looking past it.