Page 60 of Restitution

“Did your brother do that?”

“All of them are from him,” I reply.

“I’ll kill him,” he says, as if he can’t remember he ripped him apart already. “Did Barry locate him?”

My heart breaks for Kade. “I think you should rest. He can’t get me anymore.”

His glazed eyes lift to my face, his other hand still hiding his chin. “Because you’re with me? I can keep you safe?”

“Yeah. He’ll never be able to hurt me again. I promise.”

Kade’s eyes darken, and he drops both hands to his parted knees. His grey sweats are the only clothing he’s wearing. “I’m going to kill him when I see him.”

I gulp and nod, helping him to his feet and out of the bathroom. The room is in darkness aside from the light glow ofthe moon outside.

Frantic fingers wrap around my wrist when I try to sneak out once he’s in bed. I want to go and ask Aria if the delusional stage is usually as extreme and sudden, or if it’s a trauma response to shut out memories.

How can he have forgotten what he did to Chris?

“Stacey isn’t going to forgive me,” he says as he tightens his grip on my wrist. “She’s going to think I’m disgusting.”

“I don’t.”

“I had to do a lot,” he says. His pupils are dilated as he stares through me again. “If she knew what Archie did to me, she’d never go near me again.”

“No, that’s not true.” My bottom lip quivers, and I catch it between my teeth, a painful rushing sound in my ears. “I… Stacey loves you.”

“Do you think so?”

I’m catapulted back to that night in America, where I had to take Kade to the hotel room. He was drugged and thought I was a client. He had no idea I was Stacey and spoke about me. Maybe it wasn’t the drugs; maybe it was his mind playing tricks on him.

Déjà vu is kicking my ass right now.

Do I think Stacey loves Kade? Infinity times yes.

I asked myself on his private jet, minutes after he whisked me away to protect me from Bernadette, if I was in love with him. I said I wasn’t sure.

But I’ve never not been in love with Kade.

This rough patch he’s in, we’ll get through it together. Even if it takes years until I get a glimpse of my Kade back. I know he’d do the same for me.

A tear slides down my cheek as I lie on the pillow beside Kade, facing him. “Yeah, she loves you so, so much. She thinks you’re strong and brave, and all she—” My voice breaks. “All she wants to do is cuddle you.”

He hums then goes silent as his face contorts, another spasm vibrating through his body. He grabs his stomach and winces, then settles as he tries to control each breath.

Still as stone, his exposed chest rises and falls as he stares at nothing. The only clue that he’s even breathing. I want to reach over and trace the new scars on his side, a large indent against his ribs that isn’t fresh.

There’s a tattoo over it, and something in my chest twists as I make out what it is.

A bunch of dead roses have been inked across his ribs to hide an injury. I have ones that look the exact same on my back.

“What happened to your side?” I ask, hoping he doesn’t recoil from my question.

His middle finger trails over the indent. “I crashed my car before I went to Russia. I… I was trying to get to her. But I was too late.”

After a few minutes of silence, he looks over at me, and his glazed eyes brighten a touch. Confused, he asks, “Is that you, Freckles?”

I fist the duvet and pull it over me, tucking it under my chin. “Yeah,” I breathe into the dark. “It’s me.”