Page 57 of Restitution

“Kade’s asleep again,” Tobias says, his lip cut at the corner. I know his son didn’t mean to hurt him. “We were coming to take his body away. Is he still alive?”

“For now,” I say blankly, turning back to Chris, seeing every single thing he ever did to me.

I see myself. Innocent. Quiet. The teenager who fell in love – happy with her boyfriend. She doesn’t have bruises or fears or monsters under her bed. I see Chris smiling down at me when he told me my dad was dead. Sudden. Unexplained. Out of the blue.

I see a blue-eyed little girl with dark hair and a smile that could’ve lit up the world, a giggle that would’ve made the stars shine brighter and a future that was ripped away from her before she reached a single milestone.

I see Kade holding her hand while she wears the princess dress he bought her when I was pregnant.

And as my mind messes with me some more, I hear my daughter screaming as Chris grabs her. She’s crying for me, for her daddy. Until her sobs are cut off, and darkness falls.

Everything quietens in my head. There’s a dull throb in my ears as I stare at him.

The blade is in my grasp, but I don’t feel it. I don’t feel anything but loss.

Little princess, this is for you.

My eyes well as I tip his chin up with the blade, making the hammered-in nails he now has for eyes look up at me, his eyelids unable to close. His throat bobs slowly, tears of crimson sliding down his cheeks.

His lips try to move, but nothing comes out.

Maybe because his jaw is crushed.

With bared teeth, I shake my head. “You don’t get to speak now. You’ve done enough damage.” My voice is shaky as I say the words, grabbing his hair to hold his head back, readjusting the blade to press the point to his throat.

Tobias and Barry don’t say anything, but I can feel them in theroom with me. Two men who are like family.

They’re here and I’m not alone. Not anymore.

“I want you to know that it’ll be me who kills you. Kade might have caused you all the pain you deserved, but it will bemewho ends your life.” I harshly slice to the right, the sharp edge of the blade cutting through skin, flesh and muscle. Blood hits my face, mixing with my tears. “I hate you, Chris. And if by some miracle you make it to heaven, I hope my mother kicks your ass. If not…” I lean forward to whisper in his ear as the gurgling stops. “I’ll see you in hell.”

I stand up and let go of the blade. It clatters to the ground, my jaw trembling, as I watch Chris’s head drop, even more blood puddling beneath the chair he’s tied to.

For the longest moment, I stand in silence, waiting for the relief to set in, the weight on my shoulders and chest to vanish, the sickness in my stomach to go away, the breath that makes me feel at ease.

It doesn’t come. None of it does.

Everything he caused is still there.

Tobias walks up beside me and throws his arm across my shoulders. “Come on. You need a shower and a good sleep. We’ll clean up here. He can’t get you anymore, little one.”

Barry looks around the room. “This is going to be horrible to clean up.”

“What can I say? My son is an artist.”

We all grimace.

Tobias leans down and picks up the severed foot. “Think fast,” he says as he throws it at Barry’s face.

He catches it automatically, then jumps back and drops it on the ground. “What the shit?”

I bite my lip as Tobias winks at me, and I know he was just trying to cheer me up.

He’s so goofy sometimes. Aria said he was never like this before, but after years and years of therapy and meds and other resources, he found himself.

It’s his way of coping with all the change, I guess.

Apparently, this is what Tobias is like without that darkness having taken hold. But it’s there. Looming. Waiting to claim him once more.