Page 80 of Restitution

“With the dogs in the sitting room. She’s watching a movie with your mother and sister.”

I nod. “Any updates?”

He shakes his head. “She’s probably created a new system database. The one Christopher Fields was in is now dead. Like it never existed. But we’ll find her.”

“Your father will be okay,” he reassures me. “I’m fully expecting him to walk through the manor gates with Bernadette’s head under his arm.”

I roll my stiff shoulder. Everywhere is stiff from tensing my body. The shakes are worse, and my muscles still ache like I’ve crashed my car again.

“Before you sign off for the night, could you bring a nurse in?”

Barry tilts his head. “What for?”

I feel comfortable talking about this with him. He’s very awareof what I’ve been put through and the rules I had to stick to. He tried to get me out a few times and failed. I didn’t want him getting caught and risking everything, so he kind of just aided me, my crutch when I was in a really dark place.

When I left for Russia a year ago, I blacked out so many times, I have no idea if I wore a condom when I was forced into sexual contact. Bernie definitely didn’t let me use one with her.

My teeth crush together. I should have told her to fuck off and to shove her rules up her ass. I did everything she asked. Everything. And degraded myself in the process. Following the shitty rules hasn’t kept my family safe, has it?

I’m done being her chained pet. The defective Kade Mitchell with no free will who was drugged and fucked by her family to save his own. Raped by menandwomen.

Pathetic.

Dirty.

Useless.

I crack my neck to each side. “I want to make sure I’m clean.”

“Ah, yes,” he says with no judgement. “I’ll get one first thing in the morning.” Then there’s a long pause. “Do you want to talk about it?”

He could mean any number of things. I just shake my head, because if I even attempt to speak about what’s going on in my head right now, I might slip off the deep end.

I pull the joint from behind my ear and roll it between my fingers, fidgeting to control the tremors. “How old is Eva now?”

His entire demeanour shifts to pure happiness. Proud. Fatherly. Something I can’t relate to. “She just turned one.”

The spark in his eyes makes the corner of my lips curl in a softsmile. I truly consider him a friend and my right-hand man. He’s spent so much time keeping together everything I’ve built over the years. The glue of my company and sanity. He stayed by Stacey’s side while she was in America and was even helping my dad.

Fuck, he even pointed a gun at me when I met up with Stacey after shooting her. He cares for her. He puts her safety before mine.

And that’s what I need – Stacey safe at all costs.

He’s already secured the manor, set up contacts with the outside to help bring down Bernadette and is liaising with the cops to make them listen. Information for protection. Information for the promise that Bernadette and her fucking cult are taken down without any risk to those I love.

Barry’s done all this, all while being a first-time father. The travelling he does back and forth between here and the safe house up in Aberdeen is a mission in itself. He needs to be careful – but he’s committed.

I inhale the cold air through my nose, letting it out through my mouth before putting the joint between my lips. “Go to your family. Nothing’s happening right now anyway. You should be with your wife and daughter.”

He frowns, his hands shoved into his pockets as we start walking along the edge of the loch. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah. You’ve done a lot for me while I’ve been away.” I place my hand on his good shoulder, squeezing it. “You kept the ship from sinking, and I appreciate you for it. But you need to go and spend time with your family. I’ve taken you away from them enough. Go and join them at the safe house.”

“What if there’s a development? And what about Archie?”

“I’ll deal with Archie.” I raise a brow. “And if there are anydevelopments, you better answer me when I call.”

Barry lowers his head. “Thank you, sir.” His eyes flicker to the side. “And I’m sorry for your loss. I know I haven’t said it yet, but I truly am sorry. Don’t beat yourself up about it, alright? Eat something. Drink water.Sleep. Jason knew the position you were in when things went down with Stacey. He forgave you. He loved you.”