Page 137 of Restitution

Considering the number of times I’ve not used a condom, I’m surprised she isn’t pregnant. I think I’ve had her every night since Base arrived, except when she’s been on her period. I’ve fingered her after I’ve cum inside her to shove it all back in and watched it drip down her thighs, and I think I’m becoming dangerously obsessed with the idea of putting a kid in her.

Maybe because I think there’s still a chance I might die, and I want to leave a part of myself behind for her to love.

A mini version of myself I might never meet.

Stacey’s hands rest on the sides of my face. “I know what you want, Kade. Trust me, so do I. But look at our situation.” She gives me a warm smile. “Imagine bringing a baby into all this? We’re only just getting back what we had, and neither of us is mentally stable enough for a baby. You’re still seizing and blacking out, and I’m sometimes barely able to sleep from the nightmares.”

“I haven’t blacked out or had a seizure in over a month.”

She sighs. “I know. I just… What if they found out I was pregnant and tried to hurt me or the baby? We should wait until we’re in a safe and comfortable position with no enemies.”

“But you said you wanted to…” I trail off, studying her face, her serious expression, and I deflate. “Shit. Am I pressuring you into this?”

“No. God, no.” She kisses me again. “I want nothing more than to have your child. I just want to be safe and ready first. I can’t lose another.”

I nod, pulling her against my chest. “I’m sorry. We’re so close to the end, Freckles. There are a few more arrests they need to make, then we just need to find Bernadette. It’ll be over soon, I promise.”

My team on the outside has slaughtered hundreds. Most of Bernadette’s army is missing.

“You have nothing to apologise for, Kade. Besides…” She hesitates and checks our surroundings. “Luciella needs us now more than ever.”

I frown, confused. “Why?”

“She’s…” Stacey lowers her voice to a whisper. “She thinks she’s pregnant, but she’s too scared to ask for a nurse in case someone finds out. She’s missed two periods.”

I stare at her for too long before I blink. “What?”

“You can’t tell Base.”

“She thinks she’s pregnant withBase’skid?” I ask, needing her to either clarify or elaborate.

“Yes,” she replies. “That’s why she keeps being sick and hiding from him. If Nikita’s family finds out, they might—”

A door opens to our left, and Base walks in. “Ah, Rhodes. The very person I’m looking for. Fancy helping me out and forcing Ella to speak to me? Accidentally lock us in a room together? Tie her to a chair and text me the room number?”

Stacey pulls out of my arms. “She’s just finding it hard to see you around Nikita. Give her time.”

I’m still staring at Stacey, needing her to tell me more. Whendid she start to think this? It’s impossible to get her to the safe house safely – what will happen if the manor is attacked and she’s here?

What the fuck will happen when Base’s new father-in-law finds out?

I drag my frown from her to Base as he huffs. “Does she know we don’t share a bed? I sleep on the couch. I texted her weeks ago and told her none of it is real, and she blocked me.”

“I don’t think that makes a difference to her. You’re stuck in your marriage, and she has no idea what to do. She knows it isn’t your fault, but talking to you is too hard,” Stacey replies. “I need to go.” She glances at me. “Are you okay?”

Meaning,Are you good with what I just said? No, I’m not, but I’m annoyed at the situation, not with her. Base should fucking know. But I nod anyway. “See you at lunch.”

I watch her leave then blow out a breath.

Base grabs an apple from the fruit bowl in the middle of the kitchen island and sits. “One thing I hate about all these authoritative cunts being here is that I can’t get stoned peacefully.”

“Did you get caught again?”

“Yeah. A fucking armed officer and his lapdog were patrolling the pool house and I had to sit on my joint because I had nowhere to put it.”

“Burn yourself?”

“Yep. You want to put cream on my ass?”