Page 72 of Restitution

“I’ll make it worth it, little one,” he whispers against my hair. “Just you watch. Heaven and hell will see the flames of their downfall.”

Tobias winks at me as he shoulders into a guard and follows them to the front door. There’s no stopping my tears, or the crack in my chest as Aria begs him to come back to her repeatedly. Jason holds her back as she tries to run after him.

Then he’s out of sight, a door opening and closing, and Tobias Mitchell now belongs to Bernadette.

A guard radios in that he’s in the car. Secured. Locked.

She chuckles as she walks to the entranceway, but she stops and narrows her eyes on me. “One last thing…” She raises the gun, aiming it straight at me. “You’ve been a pain in my ass from the start.”

My eyes screw shut as she pulls the trigger, and there’s a harrowing scream, a loud bang that hurts my ears, and warm liquid hitting my face and arms.

I open my eyes to see Kade’s brother standing in front of me. He drops to his knees as Aria reaches him, but it’s too late.

The bullet is lodged in Jason’s skull.

23

STACEY

Everyone dies at some point. It’s inevitable. Death is strange and unavoidable. The endpoint to every living thing. There will be a quiet moment in our lives when the world stops moving, our lungs stop working and we close our eyes for the last time.

And that terrifies me.

When my mother died, I was young. I cried. Missed her like crazy. Cried some more. And when we moved away, I tried to forget about it all. Her pale skin and her blue lips, long after the doctors called her time of death.

I tried to forget what her voice sounded like.

Howher hugs felt.

The way she always made me feel better on my bad days.

Moving on was impossible for such a long time – it took me months for a single day to pass that I would feel okay. I never felt complete until I was dared to kiss Kade, then he cornered me in the kitchen and kissed me again and again and again. Everything went uphill from there.

Until I lost my baby girl, then Kade, then my dad. Then everything just fell like tattered dominos into a blazing inferno of fucking oblivion.

I wanted death a few times but never followed through with the dark thoughts that plagued me. There was one moment I let the voices win, and I was fully prepared to jump into the abyss and end my life. But Jason talked me down from the edge of that bridge and proved just how much I wanted to live.

And I didn’t want to die anymore, as much as it hurt to keep breathing at the time, so I held on to life with a firm grip. I kept my heart beating even though it was broken, fractured, bleeding from losing everything I had to look forward to.

But that’s not always the case, is it? People die every day. Every hour. Every minute. Every second.

One moment, we’re here. Next, we’re not.

Where does one go when they pass?

Their memories stay with us, their lifeless bodies waiting to be buried or cremated. But what truly happens? Do they become stars? Are they ghosts who stand by our sides when we need them the most? Are psychics legit, and do the dead communicate during readings?

When we get a shiver up our spines and the hairs rise on our arms, is there someone with us?

One blink, we have a life and a future and a purpose. We can breathe fresh air into our lungs and listen to the rain pattering against a window. We meet someone amazing, go on dates and get to know them until the butterflies are unbearable. We buy books that sit on our bookcases and gather dust. We can listen and sing along to our favourite songs until our throats get sore. Watch movies and cuddle on the couch until we fall asleep. We can walk our dogs under the pale moonlight and laugh with our friends while living in the moment.

Make plans for the future and celebrate milestones. Study and get our dream jobs. Mortgages and car finance to put us into more debt. Fall in love, get married, have kids and watch them have their own lives. Watch them make their own achievements and mistakes. Their own families and careers. Or we can choose a completely different path that’s no less fulfilling.

In one stilted moment, we can see the world and all its colours and smell the oceans and flowers. We can eat junk food until our stomachs are full. And dance in a studio, in front of a crowd, or in the kitchen while we cook. Maybe in the shower if the mood strikes.

And in the next, it can all be taken away by a bad decision, an illness, a fatal accident, old age.

In this case, the deadly pull of a trigger.