Page 114 of Restitution

“I trust you,” she says, and it’s more than enough to slow my rampant thoughts.

I don’t want my body to fail me when we’re having such a close-connected moment. My arms tremble. If I seize right now,I’ll be so pissed.

I flinch as she moves her hand to my sweats but nod when she silently asks for permission to touch me. She reaches inside them, and as soon as her hand wraps around me, my eyes fall shut. I add a third finger as my thumb rubs her clit, eliciting another moan against my mouth.

“You aren’t on birth control, and I don’t have any condoms.” I hate myself as I thrust into her hand anyway. “But I want to feel your cunt wrapped around my cock.”

Her throat works on a gulp. “I’m going to take the morning-after pill. Just… fuck me.”

“That’s probably the most irresponsible thing you’ve ever said.”

She shrugs. “Do you disagree?”

“No.”

I groan and grit my teeth as she swipes precum from the tip with her thumb. “But I don’t know if I can.”

Annoyingly, she lets go of my dick and grabs my wrist, stopping me from fingering her. She’s not mad at all; her voice is soft. “We said we’d go slow, so just go slow until you’re comfortable. Even if that means waiting until we’re in a private room after your sentencing.”

“That sounds like a terrible idea. Go back to being irresponsible and let me fuck you.”

Stacey slaps my chest. “You’re insatiable, do you know that?”

“Only for you.” I force out the words and focus on her. “I’ve been attracted to you since we were fifteen. But why is it that even after all the times we’ve been together, I want more? It makes me crazy.Youmake me crazy.”

She smiles, and it touches her pale green eyes. “Does it alsomake you want to take me to the bed? The floor is hurting my back.”

I laugh a real laugh and get up to my knees, tucking my dick away and taking her hand before throwing her on the bed. “Put the damn movie on and stop distracting me.” She reaches for her phone, and I shake my head. “Not yet. Reality can wait.”

Her voice is quiet as she looks down. “Reality scares me.”

“Then ignore it with me. Hide with me until reality slams through that door and takes me away from you.”

She fights against her tears as she nods. “Okay.”

I press my forefingers to the corners of her lips and drag them upwards to make her look like she’s smiling. “Stop being miserable.”

She slaps my hands away and kisses me, then my cheek then lies down. “I’ll try.”

The movie starts, and Stacey rests her head on my chest, probably hearing how hard my heart is beating, getting faster when she hums to the lyrics.

“I thought about these moments,” I tell her. “When I was forced to do things, my mind always brought me back to the times we’ve spent together.”

“What times?”

“I mean, my favourite was when you did your fancy little dance then sucked me off.”

Snorting, she covers her mouth. “You mean the time you nearly passed out?”

“Yes,” I reply, narrowing my eyes at her head. “It was my first blowjob – give me a break.”

I had to take a breather and fell against the wall to stop myself from passing out. To say I was an embarrassment when I wasyounger is an understatement.

“My favourite was when I realised I was falling in love with you,” she says, taking a deep breath. “We were driving to London, and I kept staring at you and thinking how lucky I was. I knew then that you had my heart. When we split, I missed you. I always came to your room when you were away and cried in your bed.”

My chest tightens, both with rage at myself for leaving and the idea I affected her so much after the split. I thought she didn’t care – that she was living her life like we didn’t happen.

“Can we look in the box?”