Page 28 of Restitution

I close my eyes and shake my head, as if it will get rid of the devil’s voice. I have a fucking migraine. “I did,” I reply into the earpiece as Bernadette huffs. “It won’t happen again.”

Lie.

Although my insides still twist at the sight of her fear burned into me. The way her eyes widened when she realised I pulled the trigger.

I just need Bernadette to think I’m serious about killing my ex, even if it means scaring the shit out of Stacey in the meantime. It worked, I’m sure of it. She was terrified, and I can still hear the tremor in her voice that fucking broke me.

I told her vile shit while mentally memorising everything about her through the scope, as if I don’t already remember every inch of her, every conversation we’ve ever had.

She’ll run. After the threat I made about killing everyone, she’ll run. That girl will never risk everyone’s safety. She’s insufferable like that – always putting others before herself.

And when she does leave the lodge, I’ll find her. I’ll message with a location and time, and I’ll make the minutes of peace we grab worth it.

All she needs to hear is my apology. Whether she chooses to accept it or not is up to her. Regardless, it all ends the same for me.

At least it’ll be close to being over. I’ll force Stacey to listen, then I’ll hunt down and slowly kill her stepbrother. By then,Bernadette will have her army looking for me. She’ll want me to watch her kill everyone I care about. I’ll take me, Bernadette and her shitty husband out with one of my home-made bombs.

And I’ll need to just fucking pray her team don’t realise it was me and retaliate.

If I don’t end it all soon, it’ll keep going, and I’m so fucking tired.

“You never miss,” she says, tsking. “We need to get those shakes of yours under control. They’re hindering your work.” She sighs, and I look behind me when I hear a branch snap, but nothing’s there. “You have quite the team on foot looking for you. I suggest you stop fucking around and get back to your bike. Your assignment is still ongoing.”

Screwing my eyes shut, I stand up straight. “I left the sniper rifle back there. I can’t run with it.”

“You evidently can’t walk either. Why are you stationary?”

My stomach churns as I look down at my vomit and back up. I can hear faint voices at the bottom of the hill. If there wasn’t a canopy of trees above me, one of the drones would find me.

Bernadette speaks again. “Don’t get yourself caught, Kade. That’s an order. If you do, kill as many of them as possible. You have your blade in your boot?”

I nod, even though I know she can’t see me. I’m just a dot on a digital map on her screen. “I do.”

“There’s a team of five near you. Move it.”

Sliding the cover back over my mouth, I take a few quiet breaths before I get moving again, slapping branches out of the way until I reach a small stream. I splash through it, the icy water filling my boots and soaking my black trousers.

I’m exhausted, but with adrenaline coursing through mybody, and the uppers Bernadette made me take before I left my apartment, I’m able to ignore the stinging pain from the cold. I focus on getting to my bike as quickly as possible. It’s hidden below a grass verge, with branches and scrub covering it.

Bernadette’s order was plain and simple: go to the lodge and shoot Stacey.

All I could think about on the way here was how to tell Stacey I meant none of it without Bernadette hearing me.

I intentionally aimed to the side last minute, but then my finger spasmed as I added pressure to the trigger and fired. My heart stopped for what felt like hours until I heard her gut-wrenching scream. The one sign that I hadn’t shot her in the head.

My dad threw the door open, and my eyes widened at the sight of him rushing to my girl’s side. He cares for her, that much is obvious. Barry had run in too, and I’d known I had to get the fuck away from there.

But I hit her. I fucking hit Stacey.

She needs to live.

I’m not going to kill the only person that’s kept me alive this long. If it wasn’t for her, I would have ended it years ago. Ever since I found out what her cunt of a brother did to her, to our daughter, I’ve done everything to keep myself in line, to not lose myself, so I can be strong enough to ruin him.

That doesn’t mean she’ll ever forgive me. But as long as she’s alive and he isn’t, that’s fine.

The contract changes everything. It’s her, or me, and I know who the fuck I choose.

“You have someone—”