Page 86 of Reasons We Break

Sukha actually pauses the game when he returns. Clearly, Rajan’s got his full attention now. “You’ll go to the seminar?”

Sukha nods.

Rajan hesitates before holding out the bunny. Sukha takes it, and Rajan braces himself. Sukha can do whatever he likes with it now. He could rip it apart to punish him. And Rajan would just have to take it.

But Sukha merely places it next to the baseball and adjusts his headphones. “You can get out now.”

TRUE TO HISword, Sukha attends the Hillway seminar with Rajan. He rolls his eyes throughout it, but most of the attendees do. Rajan’s probably the only one listening as they explaingang exit strategies, fostering connections in the community, healthy friendships, navigating drug use,blah blah.

Admittedly, his mind starts wandering too while sitting in the back, doodling in the margin of a counseling brochure. At least until someone sits beside him.

Kat. He stiffens, as always now with his relapse hanging over him. She speaks in a whisper so as to not disrupt the presentation. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

Their little game continues, then. Rajan exhales. He’s counting down the days till end of probation, because this istorture. “I’m here for my brother. You?”

“Volunteering. I helped organize this seminar, actually. What do you think?”

“It’s kind of bullshit.”

She frowns. “Why?”

“It would hit more if it weren’t just some do-gooder standing up there.” He nods to the front of the room. “If it were someone who actually went through this and made it out the other side.” As it stands, it’s entirely theoretical.

Kat nods sagely. “Hmmm.”

He eyes her. She looks like she wants to say something. “Spit it out, dude.”

She doesn’t. She just says, “So the gas station job didn’t suit you, I take it?”

“Kat, not even you would be able to smile if you worked there.” He quit the same day he discovered Maya. Now he’s fully returned to roofing. And Simran’s returned to bookkeeping with a vengeance. Nick hasn’t acted on Rajan’s Maya intel, and although he makes excuses, Rajan knows it’s because Simran made it obsolete. They’re back to square one—Rajan keeping an eye on her while she works.

Except some days, even that feels useless. That night at his house she seemed happy, but the next time he saw her with the Lions, she was listless, the shadows under her eyes deeper than ever. Her phone buzzed occasionally, and she didn’t even look. But he did. He saw how many unread messages she had. And he mentioned it, too, only to receive glares from everyone else in the room. Nick even told him to shut up. None of them like it when Rajan reminds their bookkeeper she has a life outside these damn ledgers.

“Does that mean you’re willing to explore other options now?” Kat asks.

A commotion distracts them from conversation. Rajan looks up to see Sukha has stood in the middle of Narcan kits being distributed. “I’m not doing fuckingIV drugs,” he snaps. “Fuck this.” He stalks toward the exit. Rajan doesn’t move to stop him. Sukha staying this long is already a win.

“Thanks for coming!” Kat trills as Sukha storms past. She turns back to Rajan. “As I was saying, I gathered some applications for the community college I think might interest you. There’s funding we can apply for. Mechanics, woodworking, graphic design.”

He pauses his doodling. Kat’s psychoanalyzing is getting old. “Fine.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Only to get her off his back. EvenifKat got him into some program, starting something like that feels like asking the universe to screw it up again. He’s not sure how much more of that he can take.

He crumples the brochure. “I’ve got to go. Work soon.”

Kat’s hand lands on his shoulder. “Wait.”

He stills immediately. This is it. This is where she mentions—

“Be careful out there. You’ve seen the news, right? There’s a gang war. People might not be thinking clearly, and you’re very visible with your tattoo.”

Rajan relaxes again. “Don’t worry, dude. Everyone knows I’m areformedLion.”

He punctuates that with a wink, but she doesn’t seem reassured. She keeps smoothing out her dress. Weeks have passed since the playplace attack; why so nervous today?

He shakes his head and follows Sukha out.