Page 43 of Reasons We Break

“Do you guys do thiseverymorning? Just try to kill each other?”

“Go away,” Sukha says. That’s when Rajan notices Yash is holding something. A bag of what looks suspiciously like...

Yash quickly holds it out. “It’s not mine.”

Sukha snatches it out of Yash’s hands with a glare. “Kind of like how my room isn’t yours, but that doesn’t stop you—”

“Yash,” Rajan interrupts. “Go to your room for a sec. I wanna talk to Sukha.”

Even Sukha seems a little surprised by that. Yash backs up, eyes wide. Rajan waits until his youngest brother has closed his door before rounding on Sukha.

“What the hell is this?”

“This?” Sukha holds up the baggie. “It’s your whole personality before you went to jail.”

Sukha always goes for the personal blow. “You want it to becomeyourpersonality, too?”

“Not everyone is like you. Some of us do it for fun. Some of us aren’taddicts.”

That hit lands. Sukha seems to realize it, too, because his glare falters, as if he’s afraid of what Rajan might do.

Rajan turns and walks over to Sukha’s bedroom.

“What’re you doing?” Sukha’s voice changes, from anger to something else.

Rajan kicks open the door. Because nowhe’smad. Sukha doesn’t get it. Rajan never thought he was an addict, either, but here he is, waking up every morning for the past week with actual,physicalcravings thanks to the Lions. He may as well be that Oliver guy.

And he wouldn’t wish that on anyone, but especially not on his own brother.

He flings open the closet; clothes fall out. “Just having a look around.” He turns and rifles through a half-ajar sock drawer, then picks up the baseball on Sukha’s desk. He examines it for open seams before tossing it over his shoulder. “What else do you have? Meth under your bed? Crack on your bookshelf?”

He’s ready when Sukha takes a swing at him, catching his fist and shoving him back. Sukha staggers, his back hitting the doorframe, and Rajan expects another swing—expects a full-outbrawl—but then Sukha laughs, the sound bitter.

“This is so rich. You came back from juvie on such a high horse. As if you’re better than us now. You can’t pretend to give a shit about this family when you’re the one who ruined it.”

Those words ring into the silence. The floor creaks in the hallway, and they both look out to find their father standing there.

Rajan stiffens. His father looms before them in shorts and a faded T-shirt, squinting and rubbing his five o’clock shadow. He must’ve just woken up. “What’s going on.” His voice is flat, eyes red-rimmed. Rajan might think he was hungover, but his father is rarely sober enough for that to happen anymore.

Sukha answers instantly. “Rajan barged into my room for no reason.”

“Sukha’shiding weed,” Rajan snaps. “And god knows what else—”

“Liar,” Sukha shouts, but their father interrupts.

“Enough.” He only looks at Sukha. “Come have breakfast. And apologize to Yash.”

“That’s all you’re gonna say?” Rajan demands. “Tell him to turn out his pockets.”

His father, as usual, acts like he didn’t hear. Just heads to the kitchen. Sukha sends Rajan a triumphant look and follows, picking up the baseball as he goes.

Rajan kicks over Sukha’s laundry basket and leaves for the bus stop. He and his father spend most of their time ignoring the other’s existence, but this is extreme even for him. Rajan probably could’ve said Sukha set the neighbour’s house on fire last night and their father would just ask someone to pass the milk. It’s like he’s just given up.

Rajan’s still fuming when he arrives on the Correctional Services floor, just in time for Kat’s last appointment to walk out. Snake Tattoo again. He slams into Rajan’s shoulder as he passes.

“Fucking prick,” Rajan stage-whispers. From the grapevine, he knows for a fact this guy breaches probation more often than he showers. That is to say, not that often, but often enough that he’d be totally screwed if it got out. Sometimes Rajan fantasizes about “letting it slip” to Kat.

But that would be the pot calling the kettle black. He checks his phone as he continues down the hall. Still nothing from Nick.