Page 8

Blair

Recommendation: Listen to Hold On by Lil Kim ft Mary J Blige

I slowly walked into the room and stood to the side, watching all the tubes in his mouth and nose.

His body remained in the middle of the bed.

I would give anything to see his arms resting behind his head.

Listening to his soft snores, or his slight chuckles in his sleep that he swore he never did.

I’d give up every and anything if that meant that my baby was alive and listening to me.

I wanted him more than I wanted to breathe, and because I knew he would give his life for mine, I would give mine for his.

His foot poked out from the thermal linen hospital blanket, so I held it in my hand. He had perfectly shaped toenails on his big ass feet that he loved to shove underneath me when they were cold. There was a beauty mark right on his middle toe that I loved, so I rubbed my finger over it.

“I’m here, Simmy… never going anywhere, but you already know that… me and this baby need you.” I kissed the top of his foot and then covered it up.

My heart felt like it had been pulled out of my chest, and there was nothing that I could do. All we could do was wait, and that was the hardest part of it all. “Can I come in?”

I turned toward the door and saw Papa standing there. “He’s your son… of course you can come in.”

I remained by his side. “He’s your husband, though.”

Instead of going on the opposite side, he came next to me, roping his arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer to him. “You’re carrying my grandbaby, B. My concern is for you, too… he can’t wake up and hear bad news.”

“I just need him to wake up and stare me in the eyes… tell me he’s alright. I…I don’t like him like this, and hearing Havoc put the word out that he was dead doesn’t sit right with me.”

He nodded his head. “Trust me?”

“I trust you all with my life… why?”

“Then know that there’s a reason that he has to be dead. They won’t stop until he is gone, and I ain’t letting that shit happen. Soon as he’s awake and cleared to travel, you both are going to get away from here so you can have a healthy pregnancy with my grandbaby, and he can heal.”

“Yeah?”

He nodded his head. “Yeah. You and Capri are the daughters I never had… would give my life for you girls… women, my bad. I want to make sure you and my boy are safe so he can heal. You know what comes after he’s healed.”

“Hell.” I smiled up at him.

Papa pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my head. “My girl. I know you have never had a family to protect you, but trust and believe that God gave me and Mina two sons, so you and Capri could become me and Mina’s daughters. I can promise that our family will always remain safe… hear me?”

I exhaled so loud and deep that I trembled slightly. “I just want everything to be good with him… with our family. At the end of this, I want to have a healthy pregnancy and a husband by my side.”

“You will, B. I thought the same thing when I was pregnant, and I had one.”

I pulled my head up quickly and looked at my sister like she was crazy.

It was the early hours of the morning, and I knew we were all delirious, but she was tripping.

Even Papa was staring at her like she had lost her mind.

It was funny how I could see both Meer and Sim in him, and as he stared at his daughter-in-law, I saw the same expression that Meer had when Capri said something crazy.

“Freaky ass Morgan never happened?”

She let out an exhausted laugh. “Did you forget the end of my pregnancy?”

As chaotic as everything was when Capri became pregnant, the ending of her pregnancy was peaceful. She did yoga every morning in their living room, ate whatever she wanted, and was able to shop for her baby girl. All the things one would hope to do when they were pregnant, Meer made it happen.

Capri didn’t have to lift a finger because he made sure she enjoyed the end of her pregnancy. Well, his pregnancy if you asked him. I just wanted the same for me and my baby. Us enjoying bringing new life into our little family with Elijah.

The knock at the door forced us to look up. Meer was sitting in a wheelchair while the nurse pushed him into the room. Capri’s face dropped, as she rushed over toward him.

“He’s supposed to be in bed with his leg elevated… why is he in a wheelchair?” Capri was about to rip the nurse’s head off.

She looked down at Meer, who paid no attention to either of them. He was staring straight ahead at his brother. I watched as a tear fell down his cheek, and he looked at his wife.

“Sug, you said that he was good,” his voice was hoarse, as he continued to stare straight at Sim.

Capri looked down at him and was about to reply. “She said what she needed to say as a wife, Blaze. Don’t fault her because she was more concerned with you.”

“I’m sorry, Meer,” Capri choked out.

He rolled the chair over on the opposite side of the bed and reached up to touch his hand. “Pop, you said you wouldn’t leave me… promised me you wouldn’t. We breaking promises now?”

His voice cracked as tears fell down his face. None of us were in the room with him in this moment, it was just him and Sim. He wasn’t concerned that he should have been in bed recovering. His brother, who was always there, wasn’t here with us and that took priority over his own health.

“Meer, I’m sorry… I…I,” Capri’s voice cracked, and I could see the emotion in his face, as he grabbed her hand, kissing the top.

Letting her know that despite being upset, he loved her and didn’t blame her. Capri and Meer’s relationship and connection was so strong that despite not exchanging words, she knew what her husband felt, and he knew what his wife was feeling.

A loud and raw display of emotion was released as Meer broke down, and Capri held onto him. He cried as he squeezed his brother’s hand, never letting it go. His dry heaves were deep and loud, as he reminded him of the promise he made him.

How he promised damn near all of us that he wasn’t going anywhere. Papa held me close as I broke down crying while watching Meer and Capri do the same. Meer held onto Capri, as she held him tightly, wanting to make it better.

“I can’t fucking lose him…. Not like this. All the shit I prayed for is happening for him… he has to be here for his child.” Meer continued to break down while keeping his brother’s hand in his.

He rested his head on the edge of the bed while he continued to hold onto his hand. I walked over and hugged him, and he squeezed my arm. “You can’t lose him, B… you don’t deserve that. Neither of you do,” He whispered.

I kissed his head and squeezed him tighter as I kneeled down in front of the wheelchair.

Holding his face and staring into his eyes, my heart broke.

I wasn’t staring into Quameer Inferno’s eyes; I was staring into a little brother’s eyes.

One who cherished and honored his older brother. Sim was Meer’s best friend.

He was the one he went to when he needed advice, and vice versa.

It had always been the two of them, and now he was being forced to look at another reality, one without his brother.

“The one thing your brother has taught me is faith. A man who had experienced so much loss, had the faith the size of Texas. As bad as I want to sit here and cry, I know he’s going to come out of this.

We’re going to come out of this as a family, and this will be a chapter in our past…

. Meer, I need you to hold onto that with me.

Have that faith that Simmy has instilled in all of us. ”

“Fuck.” I heard Papa sniffle from behind me, pinching the bridge of his nose, while he paced the space he stood in. “Israel, you better wake yo ass up… Ain’t letting them niggas take you up out of here.”

We all laughed because he was really talking to himself as he paced the area, and if you knew anything about Papa, he wasn’t an emotional man. “Chin up, punk,” Meer said.

Papa paused and looked over at him. “Don’t use my own shit on me.”

Meer wiped his face and continued to hold my hand. “It ain’t on us… it’s in us… right, Pops?”

He looked at his son and smiled. “Already know. I need you to listen to your wife and heal. Trust that I got both of them, and I’m gonna tear the fucking east coast up while you rest.”

“How do you expe?—”

“We have fucking daughters, and you need to heal. I don’t even like that you’re in here right now.

You always tell me to trust you.” Capri paused, holding his face.

“Now, it’s your turn to trust me. Trust that I am going to handle business and be safe.

Trust that my bike is always going to pull into our driveway and I’m going to come home. ”

“Always going to make sure of that shit too, Meer,” Goon walked into the room with Havoc behind him.

Papa’s phone sounded, and he looked at the phone. “Answer.”

Me and Capri both looked at the name and backed away. “Hell no… that’s our mother-in-law, and we would like to remain on her good side,” Capri answered for the both of us.

He went to shove the phone back into his pocket, and I snatched it. Answering, I put the phone on speaker, so he had to answer. “Quinn.”

Mina’s voice was soft with this hint of raspy. I wondered if her voice had always been like that, or if it became that way from the lack of use. “Hey bab?—”

“My boys,” I could hear her voice crack.

Papa walked toward the window with his head hung. “I know, Mina…. They made it out of surgery, and we’re just waiting for Pop to wake up.”

“I need… to see them,” she whispered.

“Baby, you need to stay where you are… it’s safe there. He will join you the minute that he’s good enough to join you.”

“Quinn.”

She didn’t need to elaborate because he knew what that tone meant, and he sat on the windowsill, and sighed. “If I bring you back, Mina, you not doing it like before… it’s not safe. This is not when we were younger.”

“I’ve never been safe.” She ended the call, and we all looked at him, more nervous than before.