Page 54

Blair

Months Later….

Recommendation: Listen to Can U Help Me by Usher

He was frustrated.

I watched as he rested his head on the wall after working out.

He was able to walk around like he did before being shot, but there were moments when his balance wasn’t as steady as before.

I watched as he put the weights down and tripped himself up because his balance wasn’t as steady as he thought it was.

Anger and frustration flashed through his face as he dropped the weights and rested his head against the wall, catching his breath.

Quasim was stealthy, quiet, and always quick on his feet.

Rebuilding his stamina and balance had been hard for him.

It was unrealistic of him to think he would have been able to jump back up and heal in no time.

Quasim was about to enter his forties, and as we became older, our bodies required more healing.

When we first moved here, he was frustrated with not being able to stand for long or having to hold onto a wall when going to the bathroom. All of it frustrated him and made him hate Polo that much more. He felt robbed of his time and his body, the way it used to be.

As stubborn as he was, he refused to stay rested on the wall longer than he needed to, and stood tall quicker than he should have, causing him to stumble back a few inches. “Easy, Baby.”

I held onto him.

He was quiet and refused to look me in the eyes, something that happened way too often.

His eye contact was my favorite thing about him.

It was always intense and made my stomach bubble with nervousness, but I would give anything for him to stare into my eyes.

Now, he avoided eye contact, and it was like he was ashamed.

Embarrassed.

“Blair, I told you that I got it… you pregnant,” he snapped.

I paused, because it had been a lot of Blair this and that, and never Anjo.

It was hard because I was trying to be patient and understanding.

I’ve struggled with being beaten nearly to death by Tookie, and the mental anguish you went through when it was done was something that I didn’t miss.

You were constantly blaming yourself, trying to figure out how you could have avoided it, and wanting to fix things.

Quasim was always someone that was used to fixing everything, and because he couldn’t do that right now, it weighed heavy on him.

Being removed from the city and having to lay low was hard for him.

Polo tried to take him out, and he couldn’t do anything about it.

As much as I reminded him that I was here for him, it never mattered because he was so deep in his head.

At night, he didn’t sleep in the room with me. He was in that damn living room with the TV on mute and sitting on the couch. I wanted my Simmy back, and it was hard being quiet, knowing that I was losing a piece of him every day.

I couldn’t remember the last time I felt his lips on mine.

His body against mine.

Quasim lived in his head constantly, only snapping out long enough to be present with Elijah and then going back into that head of his.

“Sorry.” I apologized as he headed out the room.

He was laying in the middle of the bed with his arms behind his head.

I watched as his low eyes watched the news, on mute, and then he looked over toward me.

I wore a thin T-shirt that brushed against my hardened nipples.

The shirt was so sheer that you could see my darkened nipples through the material.

Each time the shirt grazed my breast, it sent a chill down my spine.

One that told me it had been too long without my husband inside of me. Our doctor told me it was alright for me to have sex. She didn’t feel like I was in danger of early labor if I indulged in sex.

“Simmy,” I called out.

“My love,” he called back and leaned up as he looked over at me. “Shit.”

I climbed onto the bed, and kissed his lips slowly, as his hands caressed my body. His knuckles brushed against my nipples while he sucked on my lips.

We needed this.

He wore linen pajama pants, and as I straddled him, he pulled his pants down. Removing the shirt, I stared down into his eyes as he caressed my nipples, and I kissed his lips, while rubbing myself on his dick.

It wasn’t hard.

Quasim was usually hard before I could straddle him.

The frustration clouded his face, and I could tell he was thinking the same thing that I was. Gently flipping me over onto my back, he leaned over me, sucking on my neck and rubbing his fingers up and down my clit. He licked his fingers before sucking on my lips.

“Baby, I wanna feel you,” I cooed, and he kissed my lips again, before resting his head onto my forehead. “Simmy, what’s the matter?”

“Fuck,” he groaned.

Placing a soft kiss on my forehead, he climbed out the bed and picked his pants up, leaving the room. I looked over at the imaginary camera, because this was the second time this man had left me hot and ready.

I stood in the middle of the room thinking about how sex used to come so easy.

How all we had to do was look at one another and we were ready.

Now, it seemed like we both avoided it, mostly because I didn’t want him to feel ashamed about it.

My heart was beating hard as I looked out at the beautiful view of the water, and the beach that the home sat on.

Ashbourne was beautiful, and one wouldn’t have known this gem existed.

I loved being able to just exist without worrying about someone coming after us.

Simmy wasn’t strong enough to withhold a flight to Barbados, so this was the next best option. Now, he was finally cleared to travel, but Ashbourne had been where we remained. It was good for Elijah right now.

He was in school, and he loved it.

Children weren’t making fun of him, and it was mostly because all of the brats that attended his private school were rich, too. I lived for private school drop off with him every morning.

“Why the fuck did I just apologize?” I asked myself.

I placed my hand on my belly and smiled whenever I felt her move.

My stomach had grown, and it seemed like it happened overnight.

This little girl was growing, and I prayed every night for her.

I couldn’t wait until I was able to bring her into this world.

I had been doing classes with Syn over facetime every morning.

She had come to visit a few times.

We had been working on finding the perfect spot for the studio when I was back. I refused to be just Quasim’s wife. I had a career and a business before he came into my life. It took a lot to build my clientele, and I refused to lose them.

We were getting by with Synthia doing home classes, but that could only go on for so long.

“Ma, are you ready?” Elijah ran into the gym and looked at me. “You okay?”

I smiled. “Perfectly fine, baby… got your journal for therapy after school? Augusta Mae is gonna bring you to therapy after school.”

Elijah was in therapy, and it was needed.

It had been a few months since he wet the bed, and I thanked Dr. Killian Hill for it.

She came twice a week to Ashbourne to have a session with Elijah.

She used an office in town that Elijah met her at after school, and they had their sessions.

She never gave me everything they discussed but emailed me the important cliff notes and things we should be looking out for.

Augusta Mae had a cottage a few blocks away from us. We were right on the water, and she was a little back from it, but it was walking distance. I enjoyed having her close because I needed that. Gams came every so often to be with us and then split her time between Meer and Capri.

Capri was a few months behind me in her pregnancy, and the twins were letting everyone know they were coming. Meer hadn’t stopped smiling since he found out that Capri was having two boys.

Blaze and Haze Inferno were already so loved, and we couldn’t wait for them to get here.

Me: Back to the BS.

I texted Capri and put my phone back in the pocket of my romper, while finally leaving out the gym with Elijah.

“Make sure you have everything, Elijah. I am not turning back around because you forgot your gym uniform.”

He smirked as he looked at me. “It was one time.”

I pinched him. “One time too many.”

While Elijah ran down the hall, I went into our bedroom. From the back window, I could see Quasim sitting outside smoking. It was something that he did more of these days. Simmy usually only smoked every now and then. Meer was the weed head, not him.

Lately, all he did was sit in the back and smoke.

I went into Elijah’s room and went into his closest and pulled some outfits for him and shoved them into his overnight bag. “Ma, I’m going somewhere?”

“We’re going to stay with Augusta Mae for a little bit.”

He shrugged. “Dad is coming?”

“No. Go and check your backpack and meet me in the kitchen.”

I watched as he left to do what I said, and I went into our room and grabbed a few outfits. Shoving all my skincare into my bag, I put the bag onto my arm and sat it on the counter.

“Ma, I’m gonna grab a muffin and sit in the car… okay?”

“Okay.”

Sim came back into the house. “Boy-Boy, no hug and kiss before school?”

Elijah went over toward his father and hugged him. “See you soon, Dad.”

The little snitch just let him know that I was leaving his ass. “What you mean?”

Sim’s eyes were low and red, and I could tell he was high. Elijah shrugged, squeezed him once more and then grabbed his muffin before leaving the kitchen, and going into the garage.

I made my protein coffee and shoved my laptop into my bag, because I planned to sit in the coffee shop to get some work done before telling Augusta Mae that I was going to stay with her.