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She continued to mess with the pregnancy test, giving her something to focus on other than her emotions.

Zoya was the friend that you never had to worry about because she always had it together.

In my opinion, those were the friends that you needed to worry about the most. Zoya always had it figured out and was always one phone call away.

You never knew she was going through life because she never allowed anyone to witness it.

Caging her emotions had been something she had learned to deal with.

Knowing that she was raised by Menace and lost her parents young, it made sense why she was emotionally unavailable. Why she chose to keep her emotions and feelings close to her heart. It was her way of protecting herself and never allowing anyone to get so close to her that they could hurt her.

“I was wasting his time anyway… it needed to happen.”

Capri held her hand. “You cared about him. It’s alright to admit that, too, Zoya. There’s nothing wrong with loving the person that you were with. Baby mamas, and beef with your brother aside, you really loved him and saw a future with him.”

“Sometimes, I wonder if I will ever have children.” As she spoke, she continued to fiddle with the test in her hands, never making eye contact. “Me and Sigel were trying for a baby.”

As shocked as me and Capri both were, we remained quiet and allowed her to speak without judgment.

“Before you hoes jump down my throat, I knew it was wrong. I didn’t care because I wanted my own family… a little person to keep my legacy going. Someone that won’t leave me because they can’t,” she laughed a bit before sniffling and wiping her tears.

Capri squeezed her. “We’re family… I know that doesn’t take away the desire of becoming a mother, but I want you to know that you have us, too. You’re not in this alone.”

“And you have your siblings… they love you, too, Zoya,” I added.

“I guess seeing my brother become a husband, and now about to be a father has me in my feelings… it was easy to ignore having children because no one thought Menace would do it. I’d deny it, but he makes me want to have what he has with Stevie…

someone that chooses him. Knows his struggles but still makes the conscious effort to be there.

Shit like that matters to us Casellis, because we’ve never had that. Never had anyone to choose us.”

I never pretended to know all that Zoya had gone through.

Her brother was Menace Caselli, which was enough said.

My girl struggled with things, and she covered them up because that was how she had been raised.

He had a plan for all of them, and they were to stick to the plans he made.

Menace never cared about wives or children, so it was easy to make sure his siblings stuck to the plan he had made for them.

Now that he was a husband with a child on the way, it was hard for Zoya to stick to that same plan. As most people did, she yearned to have what her brother had. He had found love, and she only wanted what she had been deprived of since losing her parents.

True love.

“Kora has found that with her new man, right” Capri smiled, trying to give her hope that she would find the same kind of love.

“Kora is not in love with that white man. She chooses white men because they are safe and easy. She doesn’t have to fall in love and pretend to be in love… no emotional attachment because her feelings are never involved.”

I sighed. “Shit, maybe Landon might surprise us.”

“By being obsessed with his God-niece? I don’t think the weirdo will… love isn’t something that we do. Menace might be the one that got lucky, and even then… he kidnapped his wife, so yeah.”

Me and Capri laughed. “And here I thought I had issues with my brothers… Capone ran into Naheim the other day.”

“Sheesh, how did that go? He still works for your brothers, right?”

She shook her head no. “Nope, he stepped back and has been doing his own thing… whatever that is.”

“He’s lucky that he was able to walk away without a scratch. Especially after all he put you through.”

“First of all… he was lucky to be breathing with Cappadonna and Capone. Surprised they didn’t shoot that nigga.”

“I told them not to.”

“And they listened?” We both shrieked.

Capri went and sat on the edge of the tub. “Your brother went and put your ex-boyfriend in a wheelchair, and fucked him up bad to the point the man eats and shits from a bag, right?”

Zoya nodded her head. “Yeah.”

“How did that make you feel?”

“Back then… I told my brother I hated him. Being honest, I did hate him and stayed away from him. Purposely always waiting until five minutes before midnight to call for his birthday, and finding anything to do for the holidays… I wanted him to suffer.”

“Fuck, Zoya.” I whistled.

“Me and Naheim’s shit was ours… it wasn’t their place to stand in and handle it.

They’re my brothers, not my fucking muscle.

I don’t need them to step into my life and fix things for me because I am a grown woman.

When it comes to Capone and Cappadonna, they hold their marriages close and not many know what’s going on in their marriages.

I respect it, and all I wanted was for them to do the same.

Naheim didn’t need anything more done to him because he has suffered.

I want everyone to leave that man alone… I’ve moved on and he has, too.”

“Damn, we not the ones still on his neck… don’t even know that man for real,” Zoya laughed as she sat the test down.

“I’m glad that your mother decided to let that situation with him go and gave you and Meer room to grow.”

“It was going to happen with or without her. I love my mother, and I know our relationship has been tense for the past few years. The minute that I came to the realization that she is just a girl too… a girl living life for the first time, I extended grace. My grandmother isn’t easy, and I can see why she thought what she was doing was right .

Forgiveness is a thing and people need to realize that it can happen, and it did happen. ”

“How do you really feel?” I asked, pulling us back onto the subject of Capri being pregnant again.

She smiled. “I’m going to be alright.”

“How are you going to tell Meer?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know… all I know is that we need to get ready to head to this event because Corleon told me that I needed to be there.”

“Be safe tonight, you two.”

I looked around her bathroom. “You be safe… you the one living in serial killer lane.”

Zoya cut her eyes at me. “Bitch, get out.”

We all laughed and hugged each other. I didn’t know where things would go, but I knew having my girls with me was something I needed.

I had gone so long without having genuine friendships that I wanted to keep them close to me and cherish them.