Page 69

An hour later, as I was mopping the floor, Meer came through the door with Capri. Soon as he got her situated in her designated spot on the couch, he came into the kitchen.

“You really in here mopping like you ain’t about to have this baby?” I held onto the mop stick and tried to breathe through the contractions.

“You need to get in the water, they are coming closer and closer,” Synthia said as she timed them on her phone.

Gams was frying chicken, as Mina and Papa came through the door. “Why this feel like a damn kickback and not my granddaughter being born?” Papa asked.

“I brought you a hero from the corner store… Pop told me that you wanted one soon as you gave birth.”

“Fuckkkk!” I screamed out and held onto the counter.

I felt hands on my back, removing the mop from my hands. “No more cleaning, my love… time to have this baby, you can’t put it off anymore.”

Quita was a doula, but she was also a midwife. She took me into our bedroom and checked me. “Oh, you are ready… we need to get her to the pool now.”

Simmy held my hips as he walked behind me and kissed me on the shoulder. Pausing in the hallway, I wanted to scream because it felt like my insides were ripping. “Aye, close your eyes, she don’t got pants on.” He yelled as we finally made it into the living room where the pool was.

“Nigga, I’m in the kitchen eating… I’m good being over here.”

Mina was right next to the pool, while Papa was right with Meer. Havoc was eating chicken, because he had brought the dirt bike over for Elijah.

“Ready to be a God father?” Quasim asked, and he read his lips and smiled wide, then signed something back.

“He said he can’t talk because he gonna cry like a little bitch… sorry Gams and mama Mina.” Synthia translated for us, as he stood up and walked to the porch.

They helped me into the warm pool, and the minute my body sank in, I felt good. Quasim snatched his shirt off and got in behind me in the pool. I rested my head back onto his chest while breathing.

Recommendation: Listen to You by Jesse Powell

He placed soft kisses on my face as he wiped the sweat that accumulated on my forehead.

“God, I never question you, even when you took what we prayed so hard for. I know you’re listening…

please cover my wife. Cover this child. I know the ones we lost are with you, and we’ll always carry them with us, but I’m asking you to cover my wife and daughter.

We thank you for your grace, because we serve a kind God.

We thank you for the chance to hold this baby.

Allowing us to become parents for the second time.

Blessing us with this family and allowing my wife to make it this far.

Amen.” He prayed in my ear, as I worked through a contraction.

“Amen,” I squeezed out.

Capri sat on the couch, watching with wide eyes and holding her own stomach. “Pissy, I’m not doing this again.”

“Shelly-Ann, you doing it another time after this, too,” he teased.

Each contraction, my husband was in my ear talking me through it. “Talking you through it is how she got in there, no?” he laughed, kissing my ear.

“Simmy, I have to move… I have to get up on my feet.”

I pushed away, and got help with squatting in the water. His hand never left me as I felt a contraction and started pushing. “Urghhhhhh!”

Mina held my hand and kissed the back of it as I strained. “You got it, mama… you got it.” She coached me.

I didn’t know when Augusta Mae ran across the street, but she was right there, too. “Boop, come on… you got this, baby.”

I pushed harder, and held onto my husband’s hands while I looked into his eyes. The last time I did this, I had to look into the doctor’s eyes. Someone who didn’t know me had to stare into my eyes while I delivered a baby.

Quasim never broke our stare as he coached me, tears falling down both of our eyes while I continued to push. Going from battling breast cancer, to leaving an abusive marriage — I never thought I would get here.

I never thought I would be here in a room filled with family. They all wanted to meet something that me and Quasim created, another Inferno. A baby girl that would only know love, because that was what she was made in.

A sister for the angel that sent her to us.

I never felt worthy for the blessings I received and was always scared whenever I received one. As I squeezed my eyes shut and pushed this little girl, this miracle that deserved to breathe air, I couldn’t stop crying.

Papa and Meer had removed themselves from the kitchen, and Meer was right beside Capri, encouraging me. “B, you got this… you’re stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be even stronger tomorrow.”

He stared me in the eyes, and I remember what he said to me when he took me to the hospital after Tookie beat the shit out of me. “You got this shit, sis.”

Papa rubbed Quasim’s shoulders while he held my hands. I took a deep breath, held onto my husband’s hands and pushed. I pushed for all the times I laid in bed and wanted to give up.

I pushed for every slap, punch, or kick I received and thought it was love. I pushed for the man I was staring at, and giving another child.

Another chance at fatherhood, because he did the shit so well. I pushed because Izayah Rose deserved to be here and loved by her family.

I pushed for every night I slept by my toilet alone because I was fighting cancer. Every piece of hair I lost, every time a tear slid down my cheek when I sat in that chair and was injected with that poison.

“I see her head!” Synthia screamed.

Quita moved around the pool and nudged Quasim. “Remove her.”

Without hesitation, he reached his shaky hands down into the water and gently grabbed hold of her, slowly pulling her out as I screamed with tears coming down my face. “Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” I screamed as he pulled the rest of her out of me.

“Blair, you did it… you did it, mama,” Capri cheered, as she tried to get up and Meer helped her.

I was defeated as I laid back on the pool and Synthia wiped my face. Capri kissed my face and hugged my neck. “You’re a mommy again.”

Quasim cried as he held her and put her onto my chest. He maneuvered around the pool, and I leaned up so he could get back behind me. “Thank you, Anjo. She’s fucking beautiful. You so strong, mama… you brought our girl into the world.”

I tossed my head back as I sobbed, and he kissed my face. “She looks like Cherry.” Papa said, as he came over and kissed my head. “Good job, Queen.”

“Thank you, Papa.”

“Pop, this that second chance, and that shit looks good on you… congratulations, King.” He kissed his son’s head, while Sim continued to kiss mine.

Simmy got out the pool while they cut the umbilical cord. Meer moved out the armchair he had taken place on after his wife slapped him for screaming in her ear. I remained in the pool as Synthia assisted with me delivering the placenta.

I watched as she placed her on his chest and he looked up and took a breath, a tear sliding down his face. He pressed his lips against the curly head on his chest and looked at me. “My love.”

I smiled, tired and worn out. My eyes could barely stay open as I watched him. “Didn’t think when I laid on your chest in Monaco that it would end in this, huh?”

He smirked. “ meu mundo .”

I felt a small kiss on my face and looked up to see Elijah. “Told you, mom... she was born on my day.”

I held the side of his face and kissed him. “Smart kid… Love you more than you know, Elijah Inferno. The world needs smart Black boys… and I needed you. Never forget that… okay?”

“Okay.” He squeezed my neck as I closed my eyes and thanked God.

God, I thank you.