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Chapter Sixty-Five

RAIN

O n Saturday, I did get to go on a walk with Hawke. Jack came too, but when I invited Aspen to join us, she said she had to help Torian. I may have complained to poor Hawke the whole time, because we'd already done this once before.

It felt like the closer I got to Aspen, the more Torian tried to pull her away from me.

The happier I was with Keir, the more grumpy Torian got.

And no, I didn't think this was a me thing.

The guy had already said he thought I made the right choice.

Sure, he might think he deserved to get with every girl in the world - and thus me as well - but I was pretty sure he didn't even like me.

The problem was how his sister had gotten caught in the middle.

And yet, when I told Keir about Hawke not-so-subtly slipping his hand into mine to hold it while we walked?

Keir was amazing. He laughed about it with me, agreed Hawke had a certain appeal that was impossible to put into words, and laughed off the idea of him and Wilder hooking up.

Not in a "won't ever happen" way, but more an embarrassed to talk about it sort of thing.

Then on Monday, I got to do a whole lot of picking on my guys.

We were laughing hard enough my zez had to call us out in Defensive Combat.

Then, for my detention hour, Bracken decided to stick his nose all up in our business.

His excuse was making the three of us come at him - while he asked awkward and slightly invasive questions.

Thankfully, he also let us get out of them with some lame-ass excuses.

The problem was when I headed back to my room afterwards.

The moment I stepped off the elevator, I could hear the yelling.

Not the words exactly, but I could distinguish Aspen and Torian's voices.

Jack clicked in disapproval from my shoulder, but when I went to unlock my door, he fell silent.

Opening that, I was hit with a debate very much in progress.

"I don't care if it's burning lust or true love!" Torian was saying. "That human is not the main character! You are, Aspen!"

"I am not!" Aspen shot back. "Fuck, Tor. Has it ever dawned on you that I didn't ask for any of this? Fuck you and your problems. For the first time in my life, I'm happy. Not ok, or content, or just struggling to get by. I'm fucking happy, and she is why!"

"And she doesn't even know you!" Torian snapped. "How fast do you think she'll run when she figures it out?"

"As fast as she did when she heard you're a jevadu! Rain doesn't care about the shit from Faerie. She cares about us, ok? Me, and Keir, and Hawke. Wilder even! You're just pissed because she doesn't worship the ground you walk on, but you know what? She shouldn't!"

"Of course she shouldn't!" he agreed. "Because none of this is about me ! Aspen, it's you. It has always been you, and some stupid, fleeting high school romance isn't going to change anything. Shit, it's probably not even going to last. Why can't you see that?"

"I don't want it to be about me!" she yelled. "Why can't you get that through your head?"

"The moment you become an adult, all of this will change," he pointed out. "You can't be a kid forever, Aspen. You can't focus on kissing girls and skipping homework - or even what people are saying. I brought you here because you have a future, and here is where I can make sure it happens!"

"Fuck your plans," she grumbled. "Right now, my concern is my girlfriend and my magic."

"Well, at least we agree on one thing," he grumbled.

"No, we don't! I'm not the one trying to save the world!

I'm not supposed to save the world. That's Rain, and she needs to be what matters right now, ok?

" Aspen told him. "Fuck, Tor. Everything I remember about Faerie is from you.

I was a baby when I left. I don't care about the crap locked on that side of the gate - and you shouldn't either.

What matters is right here, and she's here. I also think we should tell her."

"We can't!" he grumped .

"She's not stupid," Aspen countered.

"And she has clearly picked Keir," Torian said. "Not Hawke. Not me, or Wilder, or even you. She's ruining everything!"

"No," Aspen said, clearly annoyed. "She picked me. I told her she could have Keir too, and you know what? I like him. Fuck, you like him! That's why you sucked on his face! And now that's all I can think about!"

My eyes got big and my mouth fell open. I also felt guilty for eavesdropping, but this was definitely not what I'd expected them to be arguing about. This fight was about me and Keir being a thing? Or was it more about him and Torian not being one?

"I'm straight," he insisted.

"So straight that you're obsessed with the guy! And just because I'm only into girls doesn't mean you are!"

"Are you really?" Torian asked. "Or is it just because I am?" He scoffed. "That works both ways, Aspen."

"Fuck you!"

"Then do something about it!" Torian said.

"What's your big plan, Aspen? Just toddle along, doing everything good enough to get by until your girlfriend fixes shit for you?

Don't make a scene, don't draw attention, and don't ever take a risk, because this is good enough, it's safe enough, it's easy enough that you don't have to risk stepping out of the little lines you put around yourself?

Is that it? Are you too fucking scared to take a damned risk?

Have you ever fucking thought about what happens if you don't?! "

"I never asked for any of this!" she screamed. "I don't want it, Torian! I just want to be happy - is that so wrong?"

"It is if it means no one else can be," he shot back.

Deciding I'd heard far more than I should've, I rapped at the wall. The thump was loud enough to make both of them fall silent. On my shoulder, Jack cawed loudly, then flew over to his perch. I moved to set my shit down, hoping to let a little of the tension over there calm down.

But Torian had other plans. Before I'd even kicked off my shoes, the guy wrenched open the door between our suites and stormed in.

"She needs to learn control, and I'm sorry if that hurts your feelings, but you seem to be doing just fine with all the guys I used to call friends."

My mouth fell open and I turned to him. "Fuck you, Torian."

He huffed as if I'd just proven him right. "You burned through all her power in one single battle. You needed mine and Wilder's to keep you going, and you were still so weak afterwards that you were given a week of sick leave to recover. Good job, Morrigan. Way to waste the power you were gifted."

"What?" I had no clue what he was talking about.

"Magic isn't never-ending, Rain." He grunted as if I should've known that. "You're supposed to be the Morrigan. Figure your shit out, and learn how to manage your power, because my sister isn't your bitch!"

"Bitch!" Jack yelled, but it did not sound like he was agreeing.

"Fuck off," Torian snapped at him.

"Jack-Rain!" he shot back.

Torian just grumbled, turning his gaze back on me.

"Aspen is my sister first," he told me. "She came here to learn, Rain, not to be distracted, and not to be dragged into some useless fight with the Hunt!

She's supposed to be learning how to control her power, because she could do great things with that much magic.

She could make a real difference for all the fae here, there, and wherever the fuck our people ran to.

But no! She's so worried about you, how you're doing, and who you're fucking that she can't get her own shit together! "

"Her shit, or your shit?" I asked. "Because she's not the one who's been fucking up lately, Torian. That's all on you."

He stepped closer, right up in my face, and growled, "It's because of you.

Burning your friends out of power? Not cool.

Thinking that swinging an iron sword and yelling at a bastard crow is good enough?

Not cool. Just in case no one ever told you this, the Morrigan isn't the answer to the problems. She's supposed to be the weapon.

The tool. The thing that gets used - not the one who uses everyone else! "

"Get the fuck out!" Aspen screamed, storming in behind him.

"You know I'm right," he told her.

"I know you're a fucking asshole," she snapped. "Torian, right now, I do not want to see you, or hear you, or even think about you! Just..." She pointed at the door. "Get out of my life!"

Torian's head whipped back to me. "You did this."

"No, this is all on you," I assured him.

Which was enough to make him storm out, slamming my door behind him. For a little too long, we just stood there, breathing hard in anger but saying nothing. I wanted to check on Aspen, to make sure she was ok, but did Torian have a point? Was Aspen mad at me?

"Rain-Court?" Jack asked.

"Rain-Court," Aspen assured him. "I make no promises on Torian -Court though. Fucking idiot! " And she tossed her hands up before turning like she was about to march back to her room.

"Asp..." I breathed at her retreating back.

She paused.

"I don't know what I did, but I'm sorry. I thought I was helping, and I didn't want to be kept out of class. I just... I was trying to keep you safe. That's why we were outside when the Hunt came. We were looking for the thing."

"Oh, Rain," she said, hurrying back to crush me in a hug. "I know! I do, but my brother's scared and he doesn't know how to handle it. His magic is messed up, and Harper came at me again - "

"Again?" I asked, pulling back so I could see her face.

"With the Hunt sign," she explained. "I mean, she tried to get me killed a few times before you got here too."

I gasped. "Killed?"

"Yeah, that's why Torian dumped her."

Sounds sputtered in my mouth, yet my brain couldn't even think of a word, let alone form one. "What?" I finally managed. "I thought she was playing Torian and Keir off each other!"