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Chapter Twenty-Seven

KEIR

W hen Bracken had knocked at Torian's door, I was sure we were all about to get busted.

Instead, he wanted to know if we'd had the necessary potions.

Since a teacher had come around hours earlier, we had.

None of us would dream, all of us had been given nectar to replace the magic we'd burned, and Aspen had asked for something to push back the fear.

It helped. When Torian informed Bracken I'd be using the other suite for the night, I was shocked - and appreciative. He hadn't asked. I'd assumed Wilder or Hawke would use that space, but they insisted their rooms were right next door.

Technically, mine wasn't much further than that, yet I dreaded going in there. I avoided it as long as I could, sleeping in the strange bed, waking up late, and ignoring my classes, then heading to the lounge area after lunch. But eventually, I couldn't avoid it anymore.

My key unlocked the door to my room, but inside there was an odd silence. A dead one. I paused to let it wash over me, then put my things aside. Finding clean clothes, I set those in the bathroom, but I couldn't help myself.

Cracking the door to Fin's room, I found his usual mess strewn about. Dirty clothes were on the floor. Empty wrappers were on the bedside table. Cups, scattered papers, and ignored books filled most other surfaces, but he wasn't here .

And it hurt.

I couldn't understand why, though. I hadn't really liked the guy!

Ok, we'd known each other well enough to trade a few jokes, but that was it.

Mostly, he bitched at me about one thing or another.

Sometimes he yelled because I'd stopped him once again.

It didn't matter if that was with a girl, picking on the younger students, or anything else.

Finley Atwood had been a bully. From the first day of our first class back in eleventh grade, I'd known that. He'd immediately found a Legacy student and lashed out, making the boy feel as worthless as only Fin could.

Back then, I hadn't stopped him. I'd avoided him, thinking it wasn't my problem.

When he'd used his enticement abilities to manipulate people around me, I'd strengthened my own protections.

When he'd started minorly manipulating the girls, I'd done my best to not be around.

Not until I found that first boy crying outside, thinking he was alone.

Bullying wasn't something I'd ever had to deal with.

Growing up, I'd been one of the cool kids.

Even my mistakes - some of which had nearly exposed what I was - had been considered inspirational to my peers.

Being attractive meant even my flaws were seen as appealing, but that was based only on my exterior. I wanted to be more than skin-deep.

And when I'd come to Silver Oaks Institute, I'd no longer been the hottest guy around.

Nope, I was now one of a few hundred beautiful people.

We all had high cheekbones. It was a fae trait.

We all were tall, elegant, and symmetrical.

Suddenly, all the things I'd tied with beauty were normal, and all the things previously normal were now interesting.

So I'd worked hard to become as normal as possible.

I took my cues from the stories I'd grown up on, many of them written by humans.

I adored action movies with heroes who saved others.

I'd matured, found my place in my weapons classes, and learned that I loved being the hero.

For me, that meant doing something about Fin.

It had started with yelling. A few months later, I'd settled things between us with my fists - and the girl had made it home with her pride intact. Two weeks later, I'd asked her to the Summer Solstice as my date. Two days after that, Bracken had pulled me aside for a very long talk.

That had been when I'd agreed to keep an eye on Fin.

All I had to do was not request a room change.

If Fin did, it would be denied. Bracken wanted me to make sure anyone with him was there by their own true consent.

Male, female, or anything else. Luckily, Fin had always preferred to target women, so it was pretty easy to tell the difference between his pals and his targets.

Nineteen years old, still a virgin, and now dead. A piece of me felt guilty for that. I'd kept him from dating. I'd cockblocked him in the worst way, and now he was dead. The guy hadn't even had sex! The one thing we were all chasing - in one way or another - and Fin had failed.

But that was stupid. Sex wasn't a reward.

Plus, if a girl had truly been into him, then fine.

I wouldn't have stopped him from dating properly, but there had been little to like about him.

Fin was - er, had been - arrogant, cruel, and amused by the suffering of others.

He'd lashed out with a truly fae temper, held grudges like a human, and manipulated like a monster.

That meant I'd won, but it didn't feel like a victory. This felt like failure. There was nothing to celebrate in his death!

I forced myself out of his room and back to the shower.

There, little things of his still caught my eye, but I removed them all.

His toiletries went in a box on the sink.

His towels were sent to the laundry. I even cleaned his hair out of the drains, stripping away all the painful reminders of his existence and wishing my memories would be as easy to erase.

I was checking my own room for anything of his when there was a soft rap at my door. When I opened it, the person on the other side wasn't who I'd expected. Granted, I wasn't sure what I'd expected, but Hawke Woods was clearly not it.

"Hey," Hawke said, tipping his head like he was asking for an invite.

"Yeah, come in," I said, opening the door wider.

"Bracken sent me," he explained. "Weapons classes are canceled, so I was asked to walk Rain back. I mean, since you weren't there."

"Shit," I breathed. I hadn't even thought about that.

Hawke huffed out a weak laugh. "She's able to walk home on her own, you know. The way you and Bracken hover over her is going to eventually become smothering."

"She's never faced the Hunt before!" I shot back, a little too much accusation in my tone.

Hawke simply murmured under his breath and moved across the room. Pulling out the chair beside my desk, he spun it around and dropped into it backwards. My eyes dropped, aware how casual he made invading my space look.

"Sit down, Keir," he ordered.

I scoffed. "Oh, now the court's giving me orders?"

"No, I am," Hawke insisted. "You look like you're about to make a few more laps of this room, accomplishing nothing but needing to move. I'm telling you to sit. Trust me, it's the better option. "

"Fine." I headed to my bed and dropped my ass onto it. "Happy?"

The way the guy's eyes ran across me was like an inspection. "Sure," Hawke finally said. "Also makes it easier to tell you Fin's things will be cleared out this evening. Bracken wanted me to make sure you know to expect it."

Cold washed over me, causing my body to heave in place. "What?"

"He has no family," Hawke explained. "He was in foster care, aged out, and only really has this. That's why Ms. Rhodes never kicked him out."

"How do you know that?" I asked, because Hawke and Fin had not been friendly, let alone friends.

Hawke shrugged. "Bracken told me. He told Rain to make sure you're ok. He supposedly also told Liam to expect you in his office at some point this week. The way he said it made me think I should pass it on - and that it was not a suggestion."

"Yeah," I grumbled. "Sounds like Bracken. And if I don't, he won't let me keep working with Rain."

"Well, since she's not ready to be working, you have time."

That caught my attention. "Is she ok?"

Hawke rocked his head from side to side. "Aspen says she's blaming herself. Tor says she's too quiet. Bracken kept watching her as we talked about the attack, and he looked worried."

And now I was blaming myself for skipping my classes. "I thought he said everything was canceled, though."

"He did," Hawke assured me. "He also didn't take roll, but he was in the gym because a few of us wanted to burn off this..." He gestured up with both hands. "Feeling?"

Because there was something in the air. I'd thought it was just me, but clearly I was wrong. There was a weight on the school. People had kept to their rooms today. The news of the Hunt getting one of us? It was terrifying. It made all of this feel more real.

"We'd been pushing them back," I said, the words more for myself than anything.

"Yeah," Hawke breathed, proving the weight was sitting on him as well. "And seeing Rain in the middle of that? I was ready to cut your head off, Keir."

"That was Bracken," I admitted. "He told her to get her sword, and there was no way she'd stay behind after that."

"He didn't want her out there!" Hawke snarled.

"Or did he?" I asked. "She's the Morrigan. He knows that. He also made it clear I was to stay with her." I almost stopped there, but the rage on Hawke's face made me add, "And I vowed to protect her, even if it costs me my life."

His eyes flared, widening for only a split second before he schooled his face again. "Why?"

"Because that girl matters to me, ok?"

"But a vow?"

I dropped my head and groaned. "I can help her, ok? Combat is the one thing I'm good at. My weapons classes are where I excel!" Sighing again, I looked back up. "And she is the one person who actually talks to me."

Hawke ran his tongue over his teeth behind his lips, but those creepy eyes of his hung on me for a little too long. "Torian's into her."

"She's not into Torian."

"Are you sure?"

I had to stop and think about that. "No," I finally admitted.

"Is this a problem?" he asked.

"I dunno," I admitted. "Look, my problem with Torian is that girls see me as his backup. Guys? They think more is better, and no one gets on Torian's good side, so I'm the clear winner there. I don't really give a shit if she's into him as long as he doesn't make her choose between him and Aspen."

"He would never do that to his sister," Hawke assured me. "If anything, he's keeping his distance because of it."

"And because Rain makes him," I pointed out.

Hawke actually laughed. "Yeah, well, there's that part too. I think Torian likes it, though. She isn't scared of him at all, and everyone else is."

"You?" I asked.

Hawke nodded. "A bit, yeah. You?"

I mimicked his laugh. "I don't really know. Before the attack, I would've said no."

"And now?" Hawke pressed.

"I've never seen anyone use that much magic." I glanced away, swallowing to push back the sudden tension I felt at the memory of what had happened. "He used both seasons, Hawke. No one can do that - but a monster."

Hawke murmured, proving he didn't agree. "Bracken does."

"Not at the same fucking time!" I hissed.

"Yeah, there's that," he conceded .

"Just..." I pulled in a breath and decided to simply ask. "Please tell me he isn't a monster?"

"Torian?" Hawke leaned back in his chair and shook his head. "He's just fae."

"So are monsters," I countered, seeing the evasion easily.

"Then what's the problem?" Hawke asked. "Aren't we all monsters in our own way? I mean, look at Fin and tell me that fucker wasn't a monster!"

Ok, he had a point. A damned good one. "But Fin couldn't hurt me."

"Couldn't, or didn't?" he countered. "Keir, I could make it through your protections, and I'm not the scariest thing on the court."

"Rain is."

He paused, then tilted his head as if he hadn't considered that. "Ok, fair," he relented. "But I'm the weakest member of the court, and my magic is at least as strong as yours. Any of us could destroy you if we tried - and you could probably put a world of hurt on us. Especially Aspen and Wilder."

Because their magic was Winter. Yeah, I could see where he was going with this.

"So," he went on, "think about what it means to be a monster, ok? Keir, here on Earth, we're all monsters to humans. Doesn't that mean we should stop treating each other like the enemy?"

"Yeah," I agreed. "I suppose it kinda does."

"Good." He stood, spinning the chair to set it back under my desk. "And you can keep using Tor's spare room if you want. Or mine. I'll use Tor's if that's easier for you. I mean, Wilder seems to think you're a cool guy."

I leaned back, bracing myself on my hands. "But keep my hands off your guy, huh?"

He scoffed. "Nah. Go crazy. But Rain? She's the one we'll break you over."

"Why?" I asked, because it was what he'd done to me.

Hawke looked me over again, making a production of it this time. "Because she's much more important than you are, Keir. She will change our lives. You? You'll just get your dick wet and move on. I mean, it's what you've always done."

"Not this time," I assured him.

"And this time, the girl you're chasing is with one of the most powerful pure fae in school. Second verse, same as the first?"

He was playing on a line from some musical. I knew it, but also saw his point. "Look," I told him, "it's not my fault we purebloods seem to have the same taste. I mean, Wilder's into her, right? You?"

"Fuck off."

Which meant yes. He couldn't physically say no, so he was avoiding the answer. That made me smile, showing him I'd noticed.

"But if you want to help me keep an eye on her, I wouldn't be opposed," I said as casually as possible. "Because now that the jesters know what she is - and what she can do - they're going to change their tune."

"I'd rather she stay with the court."

"Me too," I agreed. "I have this strange feeling the four of you will make sure she knows all her options, not just the ones that benefit you."

His eyes narrowed and his gaze turned suspicious. "Why?"

"Because the four of you never picked sides, Hawke. Not even when it would've been easier."

"Neither have you," he countered.

"I know."

"Which is why you're part of the court," he continued. "And it's why we're going to take care of you. So don't stay here." He looked over at the door that led through the bathroom to Fin's side. "Not yet. Wilder and I will handle Torian."

I nodded. "I'm actually ok with Torian, you know. I'm just not sure he's ok with me."

"He's about to be," Hawke said. "See, when you start talking, it lets us understand where you're coming from. Sounds to me like it's the same place we are."

"Trying to survive in a world that isn't really ours?" I asked.

"No," he said gently. "Just trying to survive ."